i'm so scared....please help

[~Shalhevet~]

I'm sorry to bother you all again but I'm so scared right now. I feel the enemy bringing me closer and closer to him and away from God. I can barely keep my mind focus on God and am very distracted by my symptoms and what is going on around me. I cannot stay grounded. I fear I am falling away and I am SO SCARED. I don't want to fall away. I need God right now. I know He's there but I can't feel Him. Why is He allowing this to happen to me? I know He has a perfect plan but this hurts me so much inside. Please pray that I don't fall away. If I fall away, will i go to hell? Please pray. Please!

[fromIslam2Christ]

Dear sister, I felt every word you wrote in my heart as I read your post. :emot-hug:

I don't know that anything I say can comfort you. But I asked for the Lord to give me a word for you and He gave me Psalm 77.

Praying. God bless you.

[~Shalhevet~]

Psalm 77

I cried out to God for help;

I cried out to God to hear me.

2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

at night I stretched out untiring hands

and my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;

I mused, and my spirit grew faint.

Selah

4 You kept my eyes from closing;

I was too troubled to speak.

5 I thought about the former days,

the years of long ago;

6 I remembered my songs in the night.

My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

7 "Will the Lord reject forever?

Will he never show his favor again?

8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?

Has his promise failed for all time?

9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?

Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

Selah

10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:

the years of the right hand of the Most High."

11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

12 I will meditate on all your works

and consider all your mighty deeds.

13 Your ways, O God, are holy.

What god is so great as our God?

14 You are the God who performs miracles;

you display your power among the peoples.

15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,

the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

Selah

16 The waters saw you, O God,

the waters saw you and writhed;

the very depths were convulsed.

17 The clouds poured down water,

the skies resounded with thunder;

your arrows flashed back and forth.

18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,

your lightning lit up the world;

the earth trembled and quaked.

19 Your path led through the sea,

your way through the mighty waters,

though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock

by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

[~Shalhevet~]

Psalm 77

I cried out to God for help;

I cried out to God to hear me.

2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

at night I stretched out untiring hands

and my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;

I mused, and my spirit grew faint.

Selah

4 You kept my eyes from closing;

I was too troubled to speak.

5 I thought about the former days,

the years of long ago;

6 I remembered my songs in the night.

My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

7 "Will the Lord reject forever?

Will he never show his favor again?

8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?

Has his promise failed for all time?

9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?

Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"

Selah

10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal:

the years of the right hand of the Most High."

11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

12 I will meditate on all your works

and consider all your mighty deeds.

13 Your ways, O God, are holy.

What god is so great as our God?

14 You are the God who performs miracles;

you display your power among the peoples.

15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,

the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

Selah

16 The waters saw you, O God,

the waters saw you and writhed;

the very depths were convulsed.

17 The clouds poured down water,

the skies resounded with thunder;

your arrows flashed back and forth.

18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,

your lightning lit up the world;

the earth trembled and quaked.

19 Your path led through the sea,

your way through the mighty waters,

though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock

by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

[~Shalhevet~]

Sister, that verse was very difficult for me to read. I am sitting here at work with tears falling across my face. The Lord did send that verse to me through you. I felt it. Thank you and may the Lord bless you sister.

[MorningGlory]

I'm sorry to bother you all again but I'm so scared right now. I feel the enemy bringing me closer and closer to him and away from God. I can barely keep my mind focus on God and am very distracted by my symptoms and what is going on around me. I cannot stay grounded. I fear I am falling away and I am SO SCARED. I don't want to fall away. I need God right now. I know He's there but I can't feel Him. Why is He allowing this to happen to me? I know He has a perfect plan but this hurts me so much inside. Please pray that I don't fall away. If I fall away, will i go to hell? Please pray. Please!

It's very common for new believers (yes, I know it's been a year or so!) to feel the presence of the enemy and they try to block His presence (they can't unless you let them). Speak aloud; rebuke them in the name of Jesus and order them, or it, away from you and out of your home. Do this every time you feel the need to do so. They have to leave......the name of Jesus is your shield and your armor against all things that are unholy. Keep your faith around you and you are spiritually invincible. I have had to do this, Shalhevet; I went through attacks for a couple of years after I was saved and it was pretty awful. I no longer fear them for He is with me. I will pray for you, sister.

[~Shalhevet~]

I try so hard not to let them take over me but I fear that it will someday. My biggest fear is that I will end up back in the psychiatric unit again and I don't want to go there. I'm having a hard time taking the medication prescribed to me without feeling guilty about it. I feel bad that I cannot fight this battle on my own and that the doctors have given me a medicine again. I don't want to let God down. I don't want to go through this testing in vain. Between attacks I feel good. I get my energy back, I get sleep and I will praise God for that. But when I get attacked i get so scared that I won't snap out of it. I become defeated. My mind becomes my worst enemy. Satan is trying to destroy me. And I hate what he's doing. He wants me to isolate myself and feel bad for myself and walk around like a zombie all day long. He's got a tight hold on me. Please God, PLEASE come back for me!!! I just hope it wasn't something that I did that upset God. How do I know? Am I going to hell because I can't control my thoughts?

[other one]

John 10:28-30

28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand. NKJV

Whatever comes your way, you are safe for eternity. Pray for his protection and I'll pray for you to hold it together........ but even if things don't go the way you plan, just keep it your heart that you are his forever..... no matter what.

[BFP]

Psalm 91:14

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name."

Read the whole Psalm, (91) as many times as it takes for you to believe it. You ARE under his wings, even more so now in your weakness! He is covering you with his feathers.

And honey, there is nothing wrong with taking a medication that you need! I know what it feels like to have absolutely crazy thoughts. I won't even tell you what mine were because you don't need to hear it right now. But I still need medication at times to help me cope. (lorazipam) Don't feel ashamed of it. Would you feel ashamed if you had to have surgery to cure you of something? Would you be ashamed of wearing glasses? Would you be ashamed of a flase leg and expect God to give you back a real one?

Maybe one day you will be cured of these problems, but for now I would rest in the fact that there are meds out there to help you through these times.

[~Shalhevet~]

May the Lord BLESS each and every one of you. Through His word you have lifted my spirits. Praise His mighty name!! When I get out of this torment I hope and pray that I will have a heart as gracious as all of yours. My spirit is not only lifted by your words but also by the presence of my brothers and sisters during this difficult time. I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

I hope I am not annoying all of you by my problems. I just really think I need to stay so close to everybody right now. I hope it's okay if I post more than I normally do. I'm going to see a Christian counselor tomorrow and I'm in talks with Christian friends every day but I still need you guys. I hope its okay if I vent here.

I've been through Egypt before and through the desert. It's so hard. But my Lord WILL deliver me. He can't leave me here for long. He has to rescue me. I just hope he comes soon! But let HIS will be done!!