I feel terrible.

[LeonaS]

Fantastic! This should teach you, as MorningGlory said, to not beat yourself up (a little prayer doesn't hurt, either). Things usually seem far worse than they actually are.

[freedfromsin]

I was talking to a man down at the coffee shop yesterday and he started talking about how he got injured in the war. We started talking about the war and I said something that I should not have. I won't say what I said, but it wasn't appropriate and I could tell it made him very uncomfortable to talk about. All yesterday and even this morning I can't get it out of my head how terrible I feel. I apologized to him immediately in our conversation. I apologized over and over and said that it was rude and ignorant and said I was so sorry to him. But I still feel terrible. I want to buy the guy a cup of coffee next time I see him. My heart just breaks for the pain that he has inside. I have no idea what goes on in that war and was so ignorant until now. I really learned a great lesson. But how do I not feel bad anymore? I know God has forgiven me, but did this man really forgive me? How do I know? I need to forgive myself too. And that's hard. I'm really beating myself up over this.

My guess is that we all have done this more then once. Our tongues sets the world on fire. The answer to your question is that you might be seeking something that you will never get. You stated that you did all you could. You sought forgiveness. Now simply move on. If this person has forgiven and you see him again he will act as nothing happened and you can be friends. If he has not forgiven then the ball is in his park. Simply pray for him and leave it alone, but do not keep trying to win forgiveness by trying buy it. I see parents doing this. Sometimes they fail their children miserably and they continually seek forgiveness while the whole time the child is using them. You have done all that can be done except pray for him. Move on and learn from the lesson. God bless.

Edited September 1, 2010 by freedfromsin

[charliesbutterfly]

What a beautiful ending! I hope you have forgiven yourself and your guilt went down with coffee and washed away.

[oldzimm]

I'm glad everything worked out for you and that you met this man again.

This is a good topic for me to put my 2 cents in on how to communicate with war veterans. If you have a friend, relative or come in contact with a war veteran, I'm going to list three things that you do not ask or talk about.

1. DO NOT ask them if they have killed somebody, if you do I will guarantee 90% of the time they will clam up and/or just walk away. The other 10% will only tell you lies or punch you in the mouth.

2. DO NOT ask them if they seen any violence. (the response could be the same as #1)

3. DO NOT talk of the politics of the war or what you think is going on over there. I find most Americans are clueless to what is happening over there, they get their information from the news and I find that probably only 25% of the news to be the whole truth. Remember most news agencies are only trying to lift their ratings or support a Liberal agenda.

If you have a good friend or loved one that is a war veteran, they need to talk about the above mentioned things, it is part of the healing process. Let the Veteran decide when he or she wants to talk about it, just let them know you are there for them if they ever want to talk and if it happens, prepare yourself because there will be a lot of tears (from both of you).

[~Shalhevet~]

Thanks oldzimm. I don't have a clue what goes on in the war. I realized that yesterday when I ran my mouth. I cannot even fathom what vets have to go through. It gives me the goosebumps. I meant no disrespect at all. I'm just one of the ignorant ones. But it's okay now. He said not to worry about it. That was the worst I had ever felt.

[Blien]

I was talking to a man down at the coffee shop yesterday and he started talking about how he got injured in the war. We started talking about the war and I said something that I should not have. I won't say what I said, but it wasn't appropriate and I could tell it made him very uncomfortable to talk about. All yesterday and even this morning I can't get it out of my head how terrible I feel. I apologized to him immediately in our conversation. I apologized over and over and said that it was rude and ignorant and said I was so sorry to him. But I still feel terrible. I want to buy the guy a cup of coffee next time I see him. My heart just breaks for the pain that he has inside. I have no idea what goes on in that war and was so ignorant until now. I really learned a great lesson. But how do I not feel bad anymore? I know God has forgiven me, but did this man really forgive me? How do I know? I need to forgive myself too. And that's hard. I'm really beating myself up over this.

Oh yeah, been there before. My heart was aching too just like how you felt. What I suggest is that you pray for that person that he can find it in his heart to forgive you so that God's mercy is extended to him. I also would just try my best to forget about it. The reason why you keep thinking about it is because the devil found an opportunity to condemn you. If you see the man again, you can offer to buy him a drink but so far from what you said I belive you've done enough.. it's all about him now. Just pray for him to forgive you. That's the important part.

[charliesbutterfly]

oldzimm thanks for that good advice. I have never spoken to any veterans but if the opportunity should arise this is good to know. Since we know what not to say can you advise us on what we should say?

[oldzimm]

oldzimm thanks for that good advice. I have never spoken to any veterans but if the opportunity should arise this is good to know. Since we know what not to say can you advise us on what we should say?

Shake their hand and thank them for a job well done, that is one of the most touching things you can do and say to a veteran.

I might also add that when attending a patriotic parade, take "OLD GLORY" with you and wave her high every time a Veterans group goes by. I remember after getting back from the war and taking part in my first parade, the sidewalks were packed with people cheering and waving "OLD GLORY", the tears were running down my face (heck they are now just by thinking back to it).

These Veterans were ask to do a job for their/our country and no matter how hard the task was, they did it. Veterans are not the Rambo you see on TV, they are the same as anyone else and need love. Veterans wore many hats for this country, we were warriors, peace keepers, cared for the weak and we were diplomats for our country.

Since "Worthy" is world wide with members of other countries, the same holds true for veterans of other countries as well.

The bottom line is love veterans as human beings, because that is what we are (we are all God's children).

[charliesbutterfly]

Thanks oldzimm. I can relate to the "OLD GLORY" feeling, after serving time overseas as a missionary I fell in love with the flag everytime I saw it. Never forget how I felt when I saw it flying over international buildings while away. Wore the colors for about a year after I returned home. I'm sure my feeling though doesn't compare to what veterans feel. Thank you for serving and protecting us. God bless you.

[oak]

I