turtletwo Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2010 My elderly mom has serious diseases. She is in a nursing home and sadly, is caught in the middle of family feuds that developed following the death of her husband. The drama right on the heels of her trauma is not allowing her to deal with the shock of her recent loss. I feel so bad for her. Two days after his burial, she was being swamped with paper work. How insensitive! I believe there are some shady things going on in that nursing home! Unfortunately, my own disease prevents me from traveling to look into it! I am very much concerned. They keep on bringing in complicated paperwork she does not even grasp, expecting her to sign it (without them even explaining what it is that she is signing!) Her dr came in and he is suddenly doping her up on psych drugs. This sends up a red flag to me when you couple it with the mysterious paperwork. It seems like suspicious timing. I feel this is not appropriate, as she never requested any such meds (and admits that she is unhappy feeling all zombie-ish and groggy.) My mom is always in her right mind and their choosing to confuse her through potent drugs is not what she needs to mourn the loss of her husband. She simply wants time and prayer! My question is this...Do any of you have advice on how I can help her in this mess? I really believe funny business is going on in this facility. I have already requested to be mom's power of attorney. But the social worker clearly did not like me. She was very snotty when I called her. She admitted mom had chosen me as her power of attorney. But she was quick to add that mom could change her mind at any time (as though she hoped she would...) She claimed the papers had been drawn up. But without the document in my possession, I have no proof of that and without valid signatures, I am not legally her power of attorney. The nursing home's social worker promised to mail me the papers weeks ago, but has not. I feel that this is a case where I might need a lawyer to fight for mom's rights, but have no money to hire one. Any advice, Worthy family? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaiah 6:8 Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 426 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,633 Content Per Day: 0.58 Reputation: 222 Days Won: 13 Joined: 03/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1978 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Praying, don't know if this will help but this is what I found when I googled http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/NCEAroot/Main_Site/FAQ/Nursing_Home_Abuse/Report_Abuse.aspx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,867 Content Per Day: 5.04 Reputation: 23,577 Days Won: 228 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Online Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Can you call the regulating aurthority ? All nursing homes have to be registered and regulated so it should be fairly straightforward to report a concern Do you have a legal aid scheme ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 Praying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LCE635 Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Junior Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 95 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/14/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2010 every nursing home has an ombudsperson, they are appoint. by the state to look into the patienst interresses find out who he is and talk to him. Also you may contact the adult protective services or department of health. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizzdy Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 173 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,911 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 10 Joined: 03/21/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2010 My mom worked in a home for over 20 years and saw all kinds of things, she stuck her neck out for patients but found if the patients family wasn't there standing up and documenting things nothing would come from it. Theres more regulations these days I believe than when my mom worked, I think I would start with trying to talk to the nurses to see if they can also shed light on why your mom was given meds she didn't want then go to the head nurse and continue to take it to the top if that doesn't take care of it then go to the state after that theres always the media. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.10 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2010 TT, I think you've got a lot of good advice here. Things vary from state to state but I know that all of them have a Dept. of Aging (maybe called by another name). I would definitely contact them in the state where your mom lives. You mentioned you had relatives living close to your mom, can they not look into this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebekahDavid Posted November 6, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3,166 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 23 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2010 praying sis *hugs. you need both power of attorney and health care proxy those are two different things. as a health care proxy you can be informed of any treatment change and medical condition for your mom as power of attorney you will have the right to read and review everything that they are now asking her to sign. be very specific with both that they should take effect now. it would be wise to seek out legal aid to help you to make sure the paper work for that is correcly filled out and witnessed by both you and your mom. if you do not have it take effect immediately they can wait until your mom is deemed"unfit or unable" to put it in place and that could end up as a court battle. love your sister in Christ, Rebekah David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick-Parker Posted November 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.23 Content Count: 4,271 Content Per Day: 4.92 Reputation: 1,855 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/17/2021 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/03/1955 Share Posted November 11, 2010 Good advice. I would contact the ombudsman or the State regulatory agency. The ombudsman is the first person to contact as they really get on things fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Song In The Night Posted December 30, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 286 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 34 Days Won: 2 Joined: 11/29/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted December 30, 2010 praying sis *hugs. you need both power of attorney and health care proxy those are two different things. as a health care proxy you can be informed of any treatment change and medical condition for your mom as power of attorney you will have the right to read and review everything that they are now asking her to sign. be very specific with both that they should take effect now. it would be wise to seek out legal aid to help you to make sure the paper work for that is correcly filled out and witnessed by both you and your mom. if you do not have it take effect immediately they can wait until your mom is deemed"unfit or unable" to put it in place and that could end up as a court battle. love your sister in Christ, Rebekah David Very good advice !!!!!!!! Have you looked into this yet TT ?? Praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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