do you ever wonder where God was?

[wondering04]

Perhaps the most tormenting question I still deal with is where God was when I was a child. Oh, I know the standard answers, he was there even though I didn't perceive him, He was there crying as he watched the abuse I received, He had to let my parents have their free will. Satan is the cause of all that went on. These are the standard answers that are often given to my question. But somehow they don't seem to help.

What puzzles me is, for example, Psalm 139:15-16 NKJV "My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.""

Or when Jesus says that the very hairs on my head are numbered. Matt 10:30

If God knew what was going to happen to me, knows me so well that He knows the hairs on my head, did He hate me so much by planning all the hurt I received.

How can I sort this out? Could God not have fashioned kinder, gentler days for me, or fashioned my parents not to abuse? There is a sense of abandonment by God because God did not intervene. But also, if He was unable to intervene for whatever Godly purpose, couldn't he have reached down and comforted me in the situation. What was His plan in leaving me stranded as a child, with such a sense of emptiness that I walked away from God when I was 8?

I am finding that, much as I want to trust God completeley, this problem stands in the way. How does one combat this concern?

Thanks in advance for your input..

Heather

[tako]

HI HEATHER, Sorry to see some of the things you had to go through, Please understand I know that I couldn't possibly come close to feeling your hurt, since I've not experienced anything like it, and I'm just trying to be encouraging. The only thing right now that I can think of is, and this is how I deal with BAD things in my life, I know from reading the BIBLE, and looking at the WHOLE PICTURE of what happend to MANKIND you know, From the FALL IN THE GARDEN, And how GOD DELT with the FALL by sending his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD to SUFFER AS HE DID, To JUSTIFY US, Tells me THIS GOD REALLY LOVES US. But this this pain and SUFFERING must go on untill a CERTAIN TIME THAT HE HAS ESTABLISHED, Which is to end real SOON, Where he will take us OUT OF THIS WORLD, So PLEASE DON'T DESPAIR, We ALL are GROANING till he comes, You know when I read about JOB in the BIBLE, These words always stay in my mind THO HE SLAY ME I WILL TRUST HIM. This is how I feel when I encounter bad things in my life. Hope this helps some Take care.........TAKO

[followerofjesus]

Psalm 119:50

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

Romans 5:3

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

Romans 8:17

Now if we are children, then we are heirs

[dwinkjr]

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

You see Heather even though God is not the cause of all that happens, he will use it "for good". I used to ask myself where was God when i was falling off the wagon? where was God when I was getting drunk and high every day? Why would he allow me to do that to myself? But see now that I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, my "experience with those items helps me to be a good witness to the youth of today who are having these very same struggles.

God Bless,

Dave

[ted]

God was where He always is. Right there beside you.

t.

[FaithfulFollower]

Heather,

My heart goes out to you in this time of questioning within your heart. As many above have said God has always been there, and though reasoning as to why certain things happened as they did may be unclear to you, you should know you were never truly alone. God was there with you bearing with you, all your pain. Yes God does know the number of hair on your head, as well as how many tears you have cried, but you also must remember that such things happen for a reason. There is a lesson to be learned with each one.

Take for example the story of Joseph whose brothers sold him into slavery. One would have thought his troubles would have ended there right? Well unfortunately there was still much he had yet to go through. He was tempted by one of the high Egyptian chief's wives, only to end up in jail upon doing the right thing. Where was God, you might ask. The answer is simple though...God was with him all the while.

The important question to be asked here is what happened in the end? Did all this suffering amount to anything good?

Well also within the Old Testament it tells of how Joseph became one of the Egyptian overseers and was second only unto Pharoah. When his brothers came to him, he could have had them killed, but did he? No...he demonstrated onto them the love and mercy he felt God had bestowed upon him, for there are far greater things that earthly torment. Fortunately for us, none of us has to worry about going to Hell or having Satan take full control over us so long as God is in our lives.

I do pray that whatever doubts you may have in your heart as well as mind are ones you find are quick to subside. Also that you begin to see the many blessings God promises for you in your life for God would never give us more than we can handle.

*God Bless*

With Love In Christ,

Danielle

[Adstar]

Sometimes i look back at my life and think to myself. Would i have ever felt the need to search for God if i had lived a sheltered life in a prosperous family. Did the hurt in my life and persecution from others lead me to trust only in God. Was the loneliness and the hurt of everyone rejecting me cause me to seek the love of God?

Who has more compassion for the hurt? The one who has never known hurt or the one who has been beaten? Who has more love for the needy? The ones who have had had all they need delivered to them on a platter or the ones who have known hunger?

And when persecution comes who will be able to stand? Those who have lived their lives wrapped up in cotton wool? Or those who have been kicked around from pillar to post?

Rom 8:28  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

How true. His will be done.

Heather God never hated you.

All Praise The Ancient Of Days

[wondering04]

You have given me a few things to think on.

I guess Adstar that you are right, having suffered, there are callouses formed that can make us stronger, and you are right ultimately it did lead to me seeking God. But there were so many years where, instead of seeking God, I turned my back on Him in a big way. I don't know if I would have done that if I hadn't received so much hurt.

What also happened is that I shut myself off so much in order to survive, and those walls still persist and interfere with my relationship with God. I know the scripture says that if we open up the door of our hearts to Him, he will enter in. Problem is I lost the key many years ago. I ended up with a works mentality, figuring that I have to read the mood of God, and "people" please God, so that He doesn't hate me. I know that is not God's will, but I tend to treat God similarly to my parents, so we don't have a stellar relationship. And my ability to trust, receive love, was shattered at such a young age that it profoundly affects even my current relationships and my relationship with God. Perhaps God can heal this, but that would take a mega miracle. I guess I wonder how much God really wanted a relationship with me given all those circumstances.

I try hard to hold onto the sovereingty of God, that He is just and loving and knows things on a level that I, a mere mortal, have no concept of. But I fail sometimes in trusting in the divine plan.

Faithful follower, thank you for the thought about how Joseph's suffering resulted in good. You are right, Joseph did end up having good come from evil. I know that some good has come from the evil in my past. I know that I do reach out to other hurting souls. I have grown in this and my current life is blessed. I think the reason that I keep circling back to these questions is that I don't want anything to be between me and God. If I don't sort out this situation there will always be a dark shadow there, and doubt and unbelief connected in this area. I guess I am going to wrestle with it, but I also think God would rather have an honest doubt than mouthed words.

dwinkjr, I am proud of you that you pulled your life together. I too sometimes wonder at why I made some of the horrid mistakes I made in rebellion. It is not easy to come to terms with that. But one thing I realized is that it was truthfully the 10 commandments that finally brought me back to Christ. When I realized that I fell off the mark so badly that only a savior could work. It took me getting to the bottom of my situation before I could try to reach out to Christ.

tako and follower of Jesus, thanks for the Biblical perspective. I know the truths you are sharing, but they haven't fully made it into my heart of hearts. I guess there is still a rebellious streak in me that needs sorting. Perhaps satan is still sifting me. satan did lose a powerful ally when I got saved and I guess he still tries to win me back.

ted, he may have been there besides me, I just wish I could have perceived it, it might have been easier to deal with things. But then again, who knows.

I am sorry for bringing my hurts here, but right now this is a tough time for me and new issues have come up that I have to sort through. I sometimes wonder if it will ever end.

Thanks for your encouragement and the obvious love you are sharing. This touches my heart deeply.

Heather

[Guest Kandi]

wondering

I too was abused and suffering and when I went to God, giving up all the pain to Him, He took it and replaced it with the pain of love. Pain in this life is one sure thing we know we have. The pain of love will take you away from the pain of hate you feel now and bring you close to God, so close it is painful to not be closer. Don't ask God why - give it all to Him. He can handle it. If you hate Him for letting you hurt, take that hate and give it to Him. You won't regret it. :dove

Edited September 15, 2004 by Kandi

[Omega]

wondering

I too was abused and suffering and when I went to God, giving up all the pain to Him, He took it and replaced it with the pain of love.  Pain in this life is one sure thing we know we have.  The pain of love will take you away from the pain of hate you feel now and bring you close to God, so close it is painful to not be closer.  Don't ask God why - give it all to Him.  He can handle it.  If you hate Him for letting you hurt, take that hate and give it to Him.  You won't regret it. :dove

I'm sorry to hear that you went through such difficult times Kandi! :hug:

The Lord knows who and who will not be saved and since you are a child of God He knew ahead of time that you were destined for Heaven. Even when you were a child He was with you always even when you had not accepted Him into your heart as of yet because He made sure that the Future Will and Purpose that He had in your life will not be stopped but will surely be accomplished. With Keen Spiritual Discernment, if you have a very good memory, you can think back to your younger years and the experiences you went through, and if examined carefully and the surroundings you were in, you can see that God was with you in Secret. The Wicked one may cause trials and tribulations and persecutions in your life but he cannot stop you from fulfilling the will of God, He always makes sure that His children are kept safe spiritually by many means.

God Bless! :hug: :il: