Am I over thinking things or is this something more meaningful.

[freeinnocentspirit]

At the moment Im ecstatic I have found this place as its helping to de-junk my head with all these odd questions and thoughts (this is the bulk of the junk). I'm not too sure where this topic fits but I've posted it here as I genuinely need advice about it.

My problem starts way back in 2007 when my uncle died and his death was sudden and it just made me question the whole afterlife issue that's where my initial interest in religion & spirituality surfaced to investigation mode. My family is agnostic and that did not help with mourning him at all. Anyway since then for me personally its been like a series of hurdles and my work (I used to work as a Finance Analyst so lots of spreadsheets and explaining numbers to people who don't care about saving money!) had ultimately ended as it was far to stressful and my health was deteriorating something like a random food allergy to start. During this period I was still agnostic. During 2010 my health I was at the hospitalization stage with now diagnosed severe asthma and a Chest Infection. I was hooked up to an oxygen machine and a nebuliser, after they ran tests and x-ray the doctors discovered that a lower part of my lung was partially collapsed. (basically every time i breathed in there was no air going in that deep). I was initially admitted for 6 months and i thought great there goes 2011.

Ultimately it was this experience that made me find God. Nothing worked no meds no nothing then the doctors mentioned maybe a connection to a heart problem (I was 29 at the time) and I just lay there with that nasty mask over my face (couldnt speak) in a bed - so I thought in a really low moment ok enough. God, Im wrong I have been for far to too long. Please get me out of this mess away from these stupid doctors and outta here. I'll do whatever you want. There was no real specialist there to say it just a severe allergy nothing more. It seems like the moment I said that phrase in my mind. Everything has changed.

- I saw a visiting Chest physian and i was 'released' in 3 months with just a pill for the asthma and an antihistamine (I have inhalers too)

- My outlook is totally different

- Suddenly dont want to work in finance at all

- Gone from agnostic to Christian (without any outside involvement)

- Have more will power (lost 3 stone in weight!)

I just feel like im being guided to do whatever im doing like there is some kind of (now I feel and sound spaced out! ) guardian angel stopping me from all those bad things before that was making me sick.

Could this be a spiritual experience or just post stress? I'm just worried that I am snowballing a lot of stress that I carried with me and now its holding me back form moving forward. I need a job but every time I hear about one within the area im trained in (finance) I feel like an alarm goes off and I don't go forward. I mentioned my Uncle because I dont want to end up like him dead at 59 from living an excessive meaningless life. My friend who I spoke to about this says im over thinking it all (but then she's athiest!) Has anyone experienced anything like this ever?

Its almost making me hold back on everything (apart from the religious aspect!)

Edited February 11, 2012 by freeinnocentspirit

[Fez]

I just feel like im being guided to do whatever im doing like there is some kind of (now I feel and sound spaced out! ) guardian angel stopping me from all those bad things before that was making me sick.

Not spaced out at all! From the tone of your writing I think you should listen.

That "guardian angel" sounds like the Holy Spirit to me.

And remember....

Rom 8:27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Rom 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

[MorningGlory]

It sounds to me like you have improved 100% over the old you....you're on the right track now and, IMO, need to continue. Find a job you like, live your life for Him and don't doubt yourself. I'm very happy for you! And welcome to Worthy....

[freeinnocentspirit]

Thanks for the replies. I cant explain this massive difference in my total personality - I wake up and think of God even before I sleep I pray. I have naturally distanced from some of my old friends (this was natural - Im at a different stage of my life!) and its just unexplainable how I see things differently. Had I not been in that position to be isolated from everyone I maybe would have been able to pin point a person to influence me. Here there was no one around me but my agnostic family members!

Im not even questioning anything of what I read in the Bible, compared to me back in 2008 i would question every aspect. I guess I am blessed and need to accept that.

[MorningGlory]

Thanks for the replies. I cant explain this massive difference in my total personality - I wake up and think of God even before I sleep I pray. I have naturally distanced from some of my old friends (this was natural - Im at a different stage of my life!) and its just unexplainable how I see things differently. Had I not been in that position to be isolated from everyone I maybe would have been able to pin point a person to influence me. Here there was no one around me but my agnostic family members!

Im not even questioning anything of what I read in the Bible, compared to me back in 2008 i would question every aspect. I guess I am blessed and need to accept that.

You're now a daughter of the Most High King, sister. And you are, indeed, blessed beyond measure.

[freeinnocentspirit]

Thanks for the replies. I cant explain this massive difference in my total personality - I wake up and think of God even before I sleep I pray. I have naturally distanced from some of my old friends (this was natural - Im at a different stage of my life!) and its just unexplainable how I see things differently. Had I not been in that position to be isolated from everyone I maybe would have been able to pin point a person to influence me. Here there was no one around me but my agnostic family members!

Im not even questioning anything of what I read in the Bible, compared to me back in 2008 i would question every aspect. I guess I am blessed and need to accept that.

You're now a daughter of the Most High King, sister. And you are, indeed, blessed beyond measure.

You know whats funny - i walked into two churches and back out talking to someone about this. Took me a while to think of the simplest way to explain this here. Without sounding like a nutcase

[MorningGlory]

Thanks for the replies. I cant explain this massive difference in my total personality - I wake up and think of God even before I sleep I pray. I have naturally distanced from some of my old friends (this was natural - Im at a different stage of my life!) and its just unexplainable how I see things differently. Had I not been in that position to be isolated from everyone I maybe would have been able to pin point a person to influence me. Here there was no one around me but my agnostic family members!

Im not even questioning anything of what I read in the Bible, compared to me back in 2008 i would question every aspect. I guess I am blessed and need to accept that.

You're now a daughter of the Most High King, sister. And you are, indeed, blessed beyond measure.

You know whats funny - i walked into two churches and back out talking to someone about this. Took me a while to think of the simplest way to explain this here. Without sounding like a nutcase

You did very well explaining it to us.....that's because we understand what you're saying.

[Lauri]

Proverbs 16:9 KJV

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

God will help you arrive at where you need to be. It may not be were you think, but trust him, He will do what is best for you.

It may be that your skills can be used in a different line of work than what you think.

[enoob57]

Isn't it wonderful to rest in the answers that exceed our abilities to understand... I used to think being a child was something to rid oneself from- Now that God has put eternity into my heart I just sit in awe of Him! I can find the smallest of things that people overlook and find God's strongest witness of His greatness-> He is without limits and there is eternity before us, with Him, that He shall use to show us His Glory... welcome to Life in Him! Love, Steven

[MorningGlory]

Isn't it wonderful to rest in the answers that exceed our abilities to understand... I used to think being a child was something to rid oneself from- Now that God has put eternity into my heart I just sit in awe of Him! I can find the smallest of things that people overlook and find God's strongest witness of His greatness-> He is without limits and there is eternity before us, with Him, that He shall use to show us His Glory... welcome to Life in Him! Love, Steven

As always, a very eloquent answer for our new sister, Steven.