GraceAboundsforever Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/11/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 In my youth I trusted God, even as a teenager before I came to Christ, I trusted God so I abstained from sex. But my first 3 years as a Christian I didn't really have any problems I could find a date, but thought yea I will trust God, and He will provide. Will now in less than 2 months, I will be 47 and still a virgin, I consider myself a loser, and am totally ashamed of myself, I not even a real man. I can't even recall what a date is. So if I'm not a loser why does God allow this, He knows I truly hate myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zemke Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,028 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 451 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/24/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 Believe me, unless she is a Godly woman, a good woman, and you marry first, you will feel less than a man than you feel already. Not at first but given time the fall will be worse. This life is temporal, His promises eternal. This world is still in the hands of the wicked one and it is this world that makes you "feel" less than a man. If what you say is true you are more a "man of God" than I, and most likely more than the majority of men on this board. Feel for you man, will pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthitjah Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 1,285 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 17,917 Content Per Day: 2.27 Reputation: 355 Days Won: 19 Joined: 10/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 No one who has bent their life to the Lord has anything or will have anything to be ashamed of my dear friend. Jer 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusts in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is. I echo Zemke's statements here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlelambseativy Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 6 Topic Count: 230 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 4,941 Content Per Day: 0.95 Reputation: 2,003 Days Won: 14 Joined: 02/08/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 God knows the future for you and for all of us and perhaps is protecting you from something you may later regret. If we trust God and His infinite wisdom then that is all you need and as Paul says in what so ever state you are in be content. There is a reason - you just don't know it. Trust God He has brought you thus far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Believe me, unless she is a Godly woman, a good woman, and you marry first, you will feel less than a man than you feel already. Not at first but given time the fall will be worse. This life is temporal, His promises eternal. This world is still in the hands of the wicked one and it is this world that makes you "feel" less than a man. If what you say is true you are more a "man of God" than I, and most likely more than the majority of men on this board. Feel for you man, will pray. Amen~! Praying~! ~ Honey On The Outside Bitter On The Inside Keep Your Eyes Open Wide My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Proverbs 5:1-8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted August 28, 2012 I waited decades, too. I do know what the pain and loneliness is like. What I learned through the waiting is to not look for a man's love for fulfillment, but to find fulfillment in the Lord's love - which was hard for me, being that I developed chronic depression at an early age and struggled with self-hatred. But I also learned that I needed to focus on being "Miss Right" rather than looking for "Mr. Right." That is, I needed to learn how to love a man with a man's language. I never realized how tainted our society paints manhood until I looked into this. My (now) fiance has a different story. He wasn't a Christian as a teen, didn't wait, and some other things. But if he were here on the board, he would tell you that any physical pleasures you got out of sex would merely leave you more empty than ever. He would give anything to take it all back. It's been a hard road for both of us, a lot of breaking, but we both agree that the long wait was worth it! If we met each other even 5 years earlier, we would have significantly hurt each other. Both of us had a lot of healing and clean-up in our hearts that needed to be done before we could be ready for each other. So my encouragement to you is this: instead of thinking of yourself as a loser, think of yourself as being prepared for something better. If you cannot find your love and worth in God alone, you will end up hurting your dream girl. Who knows what bondages and breaking she's been dealing with and going through. From experience, I can assure you that it feels wonderful entering into a relationship knowing that I've never been with someone else. And I look forward to remaining pure until marriage. Don't lose that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise37 Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 165 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 28 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/25/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 U are definitely not a loser.. Ur absolutely 1 of a kind, U are U! it's like neb said, don't be looking for her, before u know it, u'll find her! The Lord will provide u an awesome Godly wife, who will only live & love for the Lord, but u gotta leave it up to Him for providing! Enjoy now, enjoy living for the Lord.. I only say bc of ma current situation.. Ma hubby & I found each other after really crappy relationships.. We were lost, in the world of corruption.. He was the prefect man I was alwayz looking for, but found him when I wasn't looking.. When we moved into our house Jan'12, I reconciled & repented to the Lord.. As he opened ma eyes, I began to realize.. Ma hubby is the perfect man, but not a Godly man! Now, I'm having to struggle with living & being married to someone who won't dare step a foot in a church.. But ma Lord listens, He DOES! Slowly, I've been seeing him change.. There are days, when things get rough & the enemy starts Bologna with me.. But, I Juss try ma best to remember.. "Ur NEVER alone!" Keep smiling, keep trusting & Juss keep ur eyes & focus on God.. Bc even though we may not see or understand why we are goin through the situations we are, He DOES! But, it's up to us to keep faith, keep fighting, keep trusting & Juss hangin on TIGHT! God bless u & may He give u comfort & joy due to the soul.. May He answer ur prayers.. Thank u God, ur AWESOME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openly Curious Posted August 28, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,568 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 770 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/18/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted August 28, 2012 In my youth I trusted God, even as a teenager before I came to Christ, I trusted God so I abstained from sex. But my first 3 years as a Christian I didn't really have any problems I could find a date, but thought yea I will trust God, and He will provide. Will now in less than 2 months, I will be 47 and still a virgin, I consider myself a loser, and am totally ashamed of myself, I not even a real man. I can't even recall what a date is. So if I'm not a loser why does God allow this, He knows I truly hate myself Hi GraceAboundsforever, It seems very clear to me that God must love you very much to have kept you from sex outside of marriage. Sometimes we don't understand why the Lord does what he does. But I know it is for some reason. Because he has kept you by his power. God will provide for your needs. You need to continue trusting in him to meet your needs. Not everything we want or desire for that matter will meet what our real needs really are. God has promised in his word that he would supply your every "need" according to his riches in glory. God also said that "he knew what we have need" of before we even ask. God knows what our true "needs" are and he will supply them. It matters not of your age or the fact that you are still a virgin. Sex has nothing to do whatsoever with being a loser for that is a lie right from the devil's mouth. There is no shame in being a virgin because you have been kept by the power of God dealing with this matter. It was your choice to remain a virgin it wasn't the choice of God. Again God must really love you to have kept you pure. You made the statement above in your post. But my first 3 years as a Christian I didn't really have any problems I could get a date, but thought yea I will trust God, He will provide. You also mentioned that even as a teenager before you ever came to Christ you trusted God so you abstained from sex. It was you who decided to abstain from sex. Even during the times when you had no problems getting a date. But during that time of dating you thought in your heart and decided to stop dating and you would just trust God to provide a mate for you. In cutting yourself off from dating it could have been that God had provided a mate for you but you stopped looking for her. But let that be as it may abstaining from things in no wise makes you a loser or any less of a man. Sex is not what defines what a man should be nor does sex define what a woman should be if she decides to remain a virgin and abstain from sex. There should be no shame in keeping the promise you made with God to abstain from sex because you have kept that promise with him. Remember it was your decision to stop dating not the decision of the Lord. God absolutely does not consider nor look at you as a loser it is you who have given yourself that title. Again sex is not what makes a man a man. A looser is a person who literally gives up on something and quits before completion. Have you stopped trusting in God for his decision in the matter? But it may be that the decision in which the Lord will make will be different from your decision to abstain. Self-hatred towards yourself is not warrented just because you have not had sex in this life of yet and choosing to remain a virgin. It seems to me you just gave up seeking a mate. You have to seek (looking for in faith believing) before you find. Only God knows what is in your heart and what it is that you really need. But blaming God for your misery isn't faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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