Domestic Abuse/Violence (Have a Problem? Looking for Advice?)

[Holly Hobbie]

I have been there with my marriage(18yrs) and my husband is in counseling now as I finally built up the courage and told him if he ever mistreated me in anyway again  I was out of here

After some traumatic events we were forced to place my two severely autistic teenagers in a group home back in February and because of distance ext we are not able to see them as much  the trauma of this seems to be making him realize that he is about to loose everything he values and he seems to be trying hard to work on himself to the point where he now goes into his computer room and slams stuff around and blares his music real loud.

I am ok with that and leave him alone until I am certain he is calm.

He is now learning to give me some space as well .

I am no longer afraid of him and he knows I have connections with a friend from a battered woman;s shelter.(He found out accidently one day when he came home from some where and I had left some info from Genesis house on the table.

I have two secure places I can go to and a long list of support people one in particular is my aunts house(I have many aunts ) he does not know where she lives and what her last name is.

The only thing is we are almost and will be homeless by the end of November if he does not find a job. I am on disability due to several health issues and can't work but I have three places to go maybe even more than that if we do become homeless where I can seek shelter or a place to live so I am prepared....It's just there are a lot of financial things I would have to change of course but I have some big financial problems I have to figure out a way to solve first .

I don't know what our savings account number is and we rarely write checks. I am going to go to the bank with someone soon and ask for a financial print out with the number on it .just don't know what they will give me without a current ID.

[Guest Robert]

Praying for you sis, and will continue to do so. Adding you and your family to my prayer list.

[Holly Hobbie]

Thank you Roberts

 

[Annette]

On 6/28/2013 at 2:19 PM, missmuffet said:

It is very difficult to get out of a abusive relationship.We read about it in the news everyday.Some have not survived.Sometimes restraining orders do not work or can make the situation worse.

That is so true MissMuffet.

[Annette]

On 7/1/2013 at 9:24 PM, RedMomma said:

Thanks for posting this for theres so many that can use the info.I was in an abusive relationship on 94 and I was so desparate for love not wanting to be alone I put up with it for a year til I nearly lost everything including my life for I was being choked for not cooking fast enough,I didn't know I wasn't in a good relationship then for I never really had one as in a healthy one I thought I was the bad one thinking maybe if I had done this or that then he wouldn't do this again I had to get a lot of counseling to see it wasn't anything I did he was responsible for his actions he was to control himself he didn't love he wanted to control everything for he couldn't control himself Im glad I got out when I did I so thank God for that

Hi RedMomma, I am sorry that you had to go through a situation like this. I do realise that you responded to this a long time ago, but wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond and be an encouragement to others.

Blessings:)

[Annette]

On 6/28/2013 at 1:59 PM, GoldenEagle said:

This is a very real problem. I cam accross this website in trying to help a friend. If you are going through this there is help. You are not alone!

 

God bless,

GE

 

 

 

Thank you Golden Eagle for sharing this. I do realise that it was posted a long time ago. 

Blessings:)

[Adorable80]

I don't understand why high percent of females are victims of domestic violence  than men??  Men think women are weak.

[Guest Butero]

5 hours ago, Adorable80 said:

I don't understand why high percent of females are victims of domestic violence  than men??  Men think women are weak.

They can only measure things based on who will admit to being abused.  I would imagine most men that are victims of an abusive relationship don't want to admit it.  

There are a lot of people in abusive marriages, but the OP is so broad, you can make almost any marriage out as being abusive.  It creates an excuse for divorce for frivolous reasons, sort of like how some try to expand the definition of cheating from physical abuse to looking at someone with lust to spiritual adultery.  Unless they changed the marriage vows, they used to say for better or worse, and a lot of the things on that list aren't even close to meeting the definition of abuse to me.  Not only that, but abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce and re-marriage, so if someone leaves for that reason, they cannot re-marry without being in adultery.  Every effort should be made to work out marriage problems.  

[Adorable80]

15 hours ago, Butero said:

They can only measure things based on who will admit to being abused.  I would imagine most men that are victims of an abusive relationship don't want to admit it.  

There are a lot of people in abusive marriages, but the OP is so broad, you can make almost any marriage out as being abusive.  It creates an excuse for divorce for frivolous reasons, sort of like how some try to expand the definition of cheating from physical abuse to looking at someone with lust to spiritual adultery.  Unless they changed the marriage vows, they used to say for better or worse, and a lot of the things on that list aren't even close to meeting the definition of abuse to me.  Not only that, but abuse is not Biblical grounds for divorce and re-marriage, so if someone leaves for that reason, they cannot re-marry without being in adultery.  Every effort should be made to work out marriage problems.  

Most men are stronger than most women because men have more muscles than women.    

[Billiards Ball]

Unfortunately, some have dealt with or are dealing with abuse from a Christian. I heartily recommend this book to better understand spiritual abuse, along with narcissist and sociopathic disorders, written from a lay point of view:

https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Younger-Me-Victim-Victor/dp/1987560418