Betrayers of Jesus unto Cavalry

[ramona1993]

I have thought about Judus a lot over the last couple of years.... unfortunately because I have gone through some deep depressions where I wanted to die and thought of taking my own life....wondering if I took my life would God forgive me and would he still love me..would it be the worst sin ever?   I tried to take my life when I was 16yrs old after my mom took me for an abortion but God didn't want that for me.  Recently listening to TBN  I heard a sermon with Pastor Joseph Prince who commented that Judus' act was very selfish because Jesus died for his sins and that bothers me.

 

First,  because unfortunately,  I have experienced similar emotions as Judus I'm sure...I mean....Judus was the one who handed over The Messiah to be killed...I would not want that on my conscience....I got pregrant at 16 yrs old and had an abortion and murdered a child..the ultimate sin and one of the Ten commandments that I did not keep...and that no one would let me forget....those sick people standing outside the clinic with little fetus's in their hands calling me a murderer.... as if my own actions didn't make me feel bad enough...my question to them now would be...WWJD??? that tormented me even more...I  went home and tried to kill myself shortly after because in my eyes I deserved to die for having an abortion...I thought I committed the ultimate sin..... and felt I had to pay for it by killing myself....I was born and raised catholic and the God I was taught about was a punishing God...one who wanted me to pay for my sins..  So I think it is safe to say I can understand what Judus must have  gone through emotionally.  My unborn Child was like God to me.... and Judus must have felt even worst knowing he was responsible for killing  God's Son....the savior of the world...I think I might have wanted to hang myself too if I was responsible for the death of the worlds savior!

 

I don't think Judus really understood  the impact of  his actions until it was too late....since he truly believed Jesus would defeat the Romans and conguer them without violence...He knew Jesus could stop them with a word and I feel he felt that was what was gonna happen... I think he really believed Jesus would end all the violence once and for all through peace and power and he wanted so much for his friend Barbaras to change his violent ways and be a witness to Jesus's love and ways..and for Barbaras to follow Jesus like he was trying to do...Judus was a sinner like us all...I don't think he thought for one min Jesus was going to die and not help himself or not do anything to prevent his own death.  He was naieve like Barbaras said and he was definitly blindsided!

 

He didn't fully understand the purpose of Jesus' death and we know he didn't stick around for the ressecurrection.....so he didn't know that Jesus would forgive him and dying for the sins of all mankind..  Jesus knew he was gonna betray him and told him to hurry up and do what you must do...Jesus definitly loved him for who he was.  I believe God chose Judus to be the one to send him to the cross and.without Jesus' death there would be no ressurrection and no saviour..sometimes we are dealt a hand we cannot forsee in life and don't know why we are handed the cards we get in life...but Judus was not all bad and he loved Jesus and wanted to lead Barbaras to him and would not have hung out with him for 3 1/2 yrs if he didn't belive in him....I am sure Barabbas learned alot from Judas and Jesus' life and death and maybe that was also in God's plan. Remember Barbaras asked why Jesus died in his place and said he never did anything for him...to show God's Mercy and love for sinners like Barabas.  Had it not been for Judus Barabas would never have known Jesus...(The Messiah) died in his place willingly.. that had to have impacted Barbaras....I believe God knew Judus was gonna kill himself as well.   God had to have known it was gonna kill Judus inside to be the one to lead the worlds savior to death....of course he forgave him he was the one who planned it... he knew before he was formed in his mothers womb right??? And when people take their lives..I'm sure they are not in their right minds and in so much pain..and agony that life becomes unbearable....God must have known that is how Judus was gonna react...it was not meant for Judus to live on...his sole purpose was to hand Jesus over to be killed and then him take his own life...we cannot understand God's ways all the time.. but it's far from selfish to me that Judus took his own life...it's sad that he saw no other way and wanted to end his life for his part in the death of Jesus. Our God is a Good God and if he can forgive the ones who actually hung Jesus on the cross and put the nails in..he certainly can, would and did I am sure forgive Judus for taking his own life.. .and really who was the one who came up with....if you take your own life your going to hell and God don't forgive you?  Where in the bible does it say that? And Judus may have been the one to turn him over...but he was not the only one who betrayed him...he led him there but he didn't actually perform the cruxification..he was an accompliss.. .just like my mom took me to the hospital for the abortion and I laid on the table for the abortion...but the doctor was the one who actually took the child's breath away...so we three all betrayed God right?  Didn't mean to get  so graphic but this is my beliefs on the subject. It hit home.

 

I am 57 yrs old and till this day that abortion haunts me...it took me till just recently to believe that I no longer need to punish myself and that God does forgive me through his son's death and ressecurrection...but back when I was 16 I don't remember being taught Jesus died for my sin on the cross.... that is why I tried to take my life so I could pay for my sin...like Judus ...he didn't fully understand about forgiveness and mercy because he didn't stick around for  for the resserection....which was the most important part so he could be set free....he jumped the gun...he didn't know Jesus was gonna come back to life and forgive him...can anyone really blame him? But, he did feel bad and give back the money and his repentence unfortunately was hanging himself...let it be a lesson to us all that our God through his son dying on the cross forgives us for our sins!

Edited January 18, 2014 by ramona1993

[Waiting2BwithHim]

I have thought about Judus a lot over the last couple of years.... unfortunately because I have gone through some deep depressions where I wanted to die and thought of taking my own life....wondering if I took my life would God forgive me and would he still love me..would it be the worst sin ever?   I tried to take my life when I was 16yrs old after my mom took me for an abortion but God didn't want that for me.  Recently listening to TBN  I heard a sermon with Pastor Joseph Prince who commented that Judus' act was very selfish because Jesus died for his sins and that bothers me.

 

First,  because unfortunately,  I have experienced similar emotions as Judus I'm sure...I mean....Judus was the one who handed over The Messiah to be killed...I would not want that on my conscience....I got pregrant at 16 yrs old and had an abortion and murdered a child..the ultimate sin and one of the Ten commandments that I did not keep...and that no one would let me forget....those sick people standing outside the clinic with little fetus's in their hands calling me a murderer.... as if my own actions didn't make me feel bad enough...my question to them now would be...WWJD??? that tormented me even more...I  went home and tried to kill myself shortly after because in my eyes I deserved to die for having an abortion...I thought I committed the ultimate sin..... and felt I had to pay for it by killing myself....I was born and raised catholic and the God I was taught about was a punishing God...one who wanted me to pay for my sins..  So I think it is safe to say I can understand what Judus must have  gone through emotionally.  My unborn Child was like God to me.... and Judus must have felt even worst knowing he was responsible for killing  God's Son....the savior of the world...I think I might have wanted to hang myself too if I was responsible for the death of the worlds savior!

 

I don't think Judus really understood  the impact of  his actions until it was too late....since he truly believed Jesus would defeat the Romans and conguer them without violence...He knew Jesus could stop them with a word and I feel he felt that was what was gonna happen... I think he really believed Jesus would end all the violence once and for all through peace and power and he wanted so much for his friend Barbaras to change his violent ways and be a witness to Jesus's love and ways..and for Barbaras to follow Jesus like he was trying to do...Judus was a sinner like us all...I don't think he thought for one min Jesus was going to die and not help himself or not do anything to prevent his own death.  He was naieve like Barbaras said and he was definitly blindsided!

 

He didn't fully understand the purpose of Jesus' death and we know he didn't stick around for the ressecurrection.....so he didn't know that Jesus would forgive him and dying for the sins of all mankind..  Jesus knew he was gonna betray him and told him to hurry up and do what you must do...Jesus definitly loved him for who he was.  I believe God chose Judus to be the one to send him to the cross and.without Jesus' death there would be no ressurrection and no saviour..sometimes we are dealt a hand we cannot forsee in life and don't know why we are handed the cards we get in life...but Judus was not all bad and he loved Jesus and wanted to lead Barbaras to him and would not have hung out with him for 3 1/2 yrs if he didn't belive in him....I am sure Barabbas learned alot from Judas and Jesus' life and death and maybe that was also in God's plan. Remember Barbaras asked why Jesus died in his place and said he never did anything for him...to show God's Mercy and love for sinners like Barabas.  Had it not been for Judus Barabas would never have known Jesus...(The Messiah) died in his place willingly.. that had to have impacted Barbaras....I believe God knew Judus was gonna kill himself as well.   God had to have known it was gonna kill Judus inside to be the one to lead the worlds savior to death....of course he forgave him he was the one who planned it... he knew before he was formed in his mothers womb right??? And when people take their lives..I'm sure they are not in their right minds and in so much pain..and agony that life becomes unbearable....God must have known that is how Judus was gonna react...it was not meant for Judus to live on...his sole purpose was to hand Jesus over to be killed and then him take his own life...we cannot understand God's ways all the time.. but it's far from selfish to me that Judus took his own life...it's sad that he saw no other way and wanted to end his life for his part in the death of Jesus. Our God is a Good God and if he can forgive the ones who actually hung Jesus on the cross and put the nails in..he certainly can, would and did I am sure forgive Judus for taking his own life.. .and really who was the one who came up with....if you take your own life your going to hell and God don't forgive you?  Where in the bible does it say that? And Judus may have been the one to turn him over...but he was not the only one who betrayed him...he led him there but he didn't actually perform the cruxification..he was an accompliss.. .just like my mom took me to the hospital for the abortion and I laid on the table for the abortion...but the doctor was the one who actually took the child's breath away...so we three all betrayed God right?  Didn't mean to get  so graphic but this is my beliefs on the subject. It hit home.

 

I am 57 yrs old and till this day that abortion haunts me...it took me till just recently to believe that I no longer need to punish myself and that God does forgive me through his son's death and ressecurrection...but back when I was 16 I don't remember being taught Jesus died for my sin on the cross.... that is why I tried to take my life so I could pay for my sin...like Judus ...he didn't fully understand about forgiveness and mercy because he didn't stick around for  for the resserection....which was the most important part so he could be set free....he jumped the gun...he didn't know Jesus was gonna come back to life and forgive him...can anyone really blame him? But, he did feel bad and give back the money and his repentence unfortunately was hanging himself...let it be a lesson to us all that our God through his son dying on the cross forgives us for our sins!

 

Hi Ramona

I just read your post and was very touched by it.

I'm sure that God forgave you because it seems you realized what you had done and you repented from your ways.

God knows that you were scared maybe at the age of 16 to be pregnant with a child.

Forgive me if I am assuming that was the reason you had the abortion. No matter what the reason I'm sure he forgave you mostly because he had more purpose for you here on Earth then strike you down.

I understand about what you said as far as being Catholic.

I also was raised Catholic and until 2004 with the help of Gliding Wings who started the thread I to this day may still be Catholic believing such incorrect teachings that they drum into your head as "truth".

I also wanted to commit suicide until yet again God said No! and sent Gliding Wings to tell me just how much Jesus loves me and wants me to do more work here on Earth to fulfill God's purpose.

Well I'm glad your story has a happy ending which is that you are still here on Earth to tell your story and maybe stop someone else from wanting to commit suicide believing that they have no hope.

I hope and pray that we can be friends and that I will see you more on the board soon.

I welcome you personally to Worthy Forum.

Your new friend I pray

W2BWH

[ramona1993]

Hello,

Thank you for your kind words and understanding...I had the abortion because it was my mothers choice I was not old enough to make my own decision and it was illegal back then and so she took me to NY hospital and it was awful becuase I was 6 1/2 months pregnant and they put me on a materinaty ward, those images will stay with me for the rest of my life...but I don't blame my mom...she had a child at 16 and didn't want me to go through the same life...I never blamed her she did the best she could...also it may have been my stepfathers so there was a lot going on...I blocked the whole thing out didn't even know I was pregnant....I had no say in it..my mother took full control...and as a result I learned when an unwanted life happens inside you...u get rid of it ..adoption was not even discussed...sad right?  Well, so as I said I can so relate to Judus and how he must have felt killing our Messiah. But, I do believe that child is in heaven and one day I will see him/her again.

[celebratejesus]

You know I was just thinking recently about Judas Iscariot. I often wonder why did it have to be one of the 12 disciples to do this? I always wish it was someone else outside of these12 apostle followers of Jesus Gospel. So I thought it might make a good discussion about the betrayal of Jesus until He died in Calvary.

 

 First let us talk about Judas Iscariot one of Jesus betrayers. Also let us talk about those who else plotted against Jesus making all this betrayal possible to happen leading into the Bible prophecy of Jesus being led to the Cross. The focus on these betrayers has nothing at all to do with not forgiving them. Rather it has to do with Historical and Biblical discussion we can examine and discuss. How these events happened and who were all involved in betraying Jesus. This may include Religious groups, High officials, Roman armies etc the full kit and caboodle take on this betrayal. As like a movie based on we the posters telling the story using Bible passages and including also perhaps any historical written other books to put in any more Historical emphasis in its timing place, people, religions and so forth..

 

So let us discuss thse,betrayers Judas and including everyone else involved in going against Jesus in his life to plot to put Jesus to Death. It is even ok to make early accounts of threats against Jesus when he walked with the disciples. Any discussion of those who wanted to stone Jesus etc. already had in mind to betray him.

So the topic discussion’ The Betrayal of Jesus. Include everyone and anyone who is responsible for betraying against Jesus at all small or great. For what may be share will also help forum readers to understand why Jesus ended up on the Cross. We witness to those who want to know. We know that Judas was not the only bad guy in this story. That's why I want to include discussion about all betrayers to make this more fully understood in these plans before Jesus had to die on the Cross.

I found something in my reading this a.m. Glidingwings, that makes me feel a bit differently about "who" and how many people "betrayed" Jesus.  The bible doesn't say who and how many in these verses, but I wanted to share it as I feel I was wrong in my other post about Judas being the only one who betrayed Jesus.  Here are the verses:

 

John 6:62-64 (NKJV)

⁶² What then if you should see the Son of Man ascend where He was before? ⁶³ It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. ⁶⁴ But there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were who did not believe, and who would betray Him.

 

I know this isn't exactly with your topic, maybe parts of, but God opens my eyes to places I am wrong, or misunderstanding His Word.  I mean, in many cases He will do that for me, so I wanted to let you know.  I know the bible doesn't say everything, and many of us speculate on what might have been but like many commentators I respect will say "it could have been" or "it might have meant".  Those types of christians I respect because they also know that unless it's in God's Word, we can't know it to be Truth your sister in Christ, Denise

[GlidingWings]

Hello,

Thank you for your kind words and understanding...I had the abortion because it was my mothers choice I was not old enough to make my own decision and it was illegal back then and so she took me to NY hospital and it was awful becuase I was 6 1/2 months pregnant and they put me on a materinaty ward, those images will stay with me for the rest of my life...but I don't blame my mom...she had a child at 16 and didn't want me to go through the same life...I never blamed her she did the best she could...also it may have been my stepfathers so there was a lot going on...I blocked the whole thing out didn't even know I was pregnant....I had no say in it..my mother took full control...and as a result I learned when an unwanted life happens inside you...u get rid of it ..adoption was not even discussed...sad right?  Well, so as I said I can so relate to Judus and how he must have felt killing our Messiah. But, I do believe that child is in heaven and one day I will see him/her again.

 

Hi Ramona I’m glad you have joined us here. I also welcome you here at the this posting board. I‘m just a poster but if you want to write to the moderators Fez and One Light usually are well and responding to questions. Also I believe you need to get at least10 posts before you get your pm box to send and receive messages. Ten posts because they don't want one timers soliciting businesses. So the ten posts will show at least a regular member is posting. Please look at some of the other posts on this board you may be interested to answer. Answers can even be as short as one sentence or as long as several paragraphs depending on each ones preference. Don’t be dismayed at first that you might not feel to fit in. New members sometimes are not noticed until they have posted a few threads which members will become more familiar. There is also the introduction area somewhere on this board.

Yeah you will be liked around here once you post a few more times. This happened to me at first. I felt left out when I first joined. But I kept posting then naturally you just get to know and recognize other posters on the board. It's like get acquainted with a city we have never been before. So please I ask feel welcomed and you will get your pm box soon with 8 more posts. Thus if you answer after me here will then be your third post. Am I good at math? Yeah I got a sense of humor.

Concerning your circumstance a young girl as you were at sixteen. Yes I say girl and not woman. Because it is my belief today Kids at that age”Should not’ be having sexual relations. I thought it was very ok and accepted at that age. Now that I am older I see why it is wrong. Because other girls also felt they had to do abortions also not feeling ready to have a child. Sure at sixteen a girl may not be ready for she feels still like a daughter to her mother. What I am trying to say is God seen you as a young girl who made a choice you wish you had never had. Knowing your mother was an authoritative parent bringing you to that choice. I’m sure you were scared and everything else.

I believe God looked upon you that day the choice you had made. The Lord said Ramona I want you to stay here to live on. I have a purpose for you. Remember Moses killed a man in his anger before God called him. The Lord saw your heart and showing your repentance that you knew this act was against the Lord. But God can forgive all sin except the Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. You were young and God found a way to reach you somehow. Your hurt because that baby was innocent. But yes I believe this baby is in Heaven waiting for you. God won't judge a baby that does not know right or wrong choices.

As for myself I can relate to your experiences as I several years ago made 2 attempt of suicide. I almost succeeded in taking my life. I cant’ write a full story in this post. But when your pm box works I can share the full testimony why I wanted to take my life. Though I could not understand. I thought I failed God and that God hated me. There was no reason to live. Yet Behold God was the one keeping me living and I had no idea at that time. I was in the Psychiatric hospital on an IV since I was not eating that much..

But it was not my time to go either. See now I am alive and well now. What does this have to do with Judas? I felt I had betrayed God. I said God I am probably worse than Judas Iscariot himself. Look at me I have betrayed you in all sins I have done great. Judas doe one great sin and I had done many multiple sins. Judas probably was not into when he followed Jesus. That’s why I told God I was probably worse than Him..

Which is why like Judas I wanted to do what he did. Take my life because my sins betrayed God.. No God you don't want me I kept sinning. Telling my friend Tim God Hates me. I told him look where I am at. How did God bring me back to life and this state of today being well again?

There's more in the story testimony. But that would turn out to be a five page post which no one mostly would want to read. Here people like going from one thread topic to the next. .Yet some like staying in one room at a time until they are finished with the topic. Your just ok now. Your testimony will actually help other people to know Gods forgiveness. Your story shares the mercy that God has. That pehraps Judas should have turned to God to ask God for his forgiveness. The Devil had Jesus try to jump from the temple. Jesus knew that was tempting fate. So Jesus said it is written Do not Tempt the Lord your God in any way. So Judas by taking his life did what Satan told Jesus . . Satan told Judas hang your self. You know what you did Judas. You were worthless. And don’t call on God. You have gone beyond His forgiveness. So Judas believed this lie not knowing he can call on God.

Remember the Bible said Satan had entered into him. So we know for a time Judas had Satan's influence of this betrayal. Well what is done is done. It's all over. We can’t change the History. He took his life and he can not come back to repent again. So we should learn by this not to repeat what he had done. Forsaken God.