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how does one honour a parent who is abusive?


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Thanks everyone I appreciate your input <3

Other one:

The reasons for her behavior are various, and its quite clear to everyone but her. Part of it is alcohol, but we do believe she has developed a severe personality disorder in the last 5 yrs. She has had cat-scans, full on health checks etc so its not physical. But she wont go get diagnosed for mental ilness, too proud. Also refuses rehab, wont admit shes alcoholic. She also has always had a roaring temper, long before life got her down. I think she had PND after having my sisters and never recovered. She has beem through alot emotionally, but far less than what she put us through and we arent crazy messes... I have been through the "why is she like this?" Phase... the angry phase. The forgiveness part, The "bawl my eyes out in sadness and hopelessness cry out to God please help her!!" Phase, the numb - no feeling phase. Im now in kind of a birds eye view phase.

Which brings me to Sevenseas questions: has that answered them? I think ive been through all the emotions. The pain, anger, sadness, anxiety, empty feeling etc etc until I hit the forgiveness part. I realise I can't change her... cant help her because she doesnt want help. I dont think I have any un-delved into emotions left!!

But its like this.... (kwikphilly this may be a response to your post)... its at the point now, where she is so far gone, that I am waiting for the phone call of someone telling me she is dead. She is very very weak and unhealthy because of the drinking and not taking care of herself. Her living conditions dont help either. I dont know, if I get that call... if I have done enough or am doing the right thing.

Ive sympathised, listened, loved on, forgiven (and told her Ive forgiven), given money (before I knew she was spending it on alcohol), ive prayed. Ive also told her how much it hurts when she goes mad, ive rebuked her a number of times when the occasion called for it. Ive told her im here if she wants to put her life back together ill be waiting with open arms but I can't see her while shes like she is. Ive shared the gospel with her more than once, and answered all her loaded questions about God, ive done all I know to do....

So im trying to figure out if ive missed something biblical here. Before its too late. I want to know that ive done all I can do. I feel like I have. Ive prayed and hoped. I can't dwell on it too much because I have a husband and children whom need and deserve my attention and my efforts. But it does get to me sometimes and im left wondering. ..... have I done enough? Have I honoured her?

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

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Other one: I would like you to elaborate within a biblical context on your last comment please. Im not being funny im interested to know.

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Don't try deliverance if your mother is not a Christian...it will only make things worse with reference to other ones' post...and even then, the person has to ADMIT they may need help in that

way.  Of course if you are offered private correspondence by someone suggesting you follow that route, that is your choice.  However, having dealt with the demonic in people quite a bit,

I would be careful and then careful two times over before comitting myself into someone elses' help because if someone does not know how to protect themself, they may very well end

up worse then before.  

 

There are divergent thoughts with regard to the ministry of helping people out in a spiritual way and my advice is to tread as though on very thin ice as some people believe if nothing

else works, then kick out the demon which you should not even attempt with a non-Christian.  I don't believe Christians can be possessed but the devil can certainly influence believers

in many ways.

 

I understand your mother does not want help but that is actually a part of the prob.  If you present your fears to a health professional and express the fact she is not capable of

rational thought (due to alcoholism) perhaps she might be taken into a clinic or like for further help. When people are a danger to themself, someone has to step up and be responsible

for what they can apparently not decide on their own behalf.

 

 

 

Ive sympathised, listened, loved on, forgiven (and told her Ive forgiven), given money (before I knew she was spending it on alcohol), ive prayed. Ive also told her how much it hurts when she goes mad, ive rebuked her a number of times when the occasion called for it. Ive told her im here if she wants to put her life back together ill be waiting with open arms but I can't see her while shes like she is. Ive shared the gospel with her more than once, and answered all her loaded questions about God, ive done all I know to do.... 

So im trying to figure out if ive missed something biblical here. Before its too late. I want to know that ive done all I can do. I feel like I have. Ive prayed and hoped. I can't dwell on it too much because I have a husband and children whom need and deserve my attention and my efforts. But it does get to me sometimes and im left wondering. ..... have I done enough? Have I honoured her? 

 

 

We could be twins sans the alcohol part.

 

Can you have your mother committed to receive help if she is bordeline near the end or suicidal?  you cannot be responsible and yet in some way you keep thinking there must be something...there isn't

 

Speaking of your husband, what is thought on all of this?  Don't leave your husband out.  Mine has really helped with my situation.

 

Found this site to be helpful with regards to your question of honoring your mother.  here's a quote from it:

 

Your situation illustrates the problem that many well-intentioned Christian people have.  You mother's behavior is not honorable.  Permitting her to destroy your property or to be use Scripture to manipulate and guilt-trip you and your wife is not honoring her.  And it's certainly not honoring the God of righteousness because her behavior is wrong. 

"But she has dementia.  She can't help it," someone might say.  This is the other aspect of your problem that makes it so difficult: your mother needs help.  She needs medical help, patience, and much compassion, but not the freedom to be abusive.  And I don't think this behavior of hers is caused by her dementia, except in that she may have quite a bit of frustration and irritability due to her disease and be taking it out in these inappropriate ways. 

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Other one: I would like you to elaborate within a biblical context on your last comment please. Im not being funny im interested to know.

not on the open forum.... PM me.

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

As you know oo exorcist is not Biblical for the New Testament.

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

As you know oo exorcist is not Biblical for the New Testament.

 

 

I've never heard that before...

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

As you know oo exorcist is not Biblical for the New Testament.

 

 

I've never heard that before...

 

Show me New Testament scripture that supports exorcism for today.

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

As you know oo exorcist is not Biblical for the New Testament.

 

 

I've never heard that before...

 

Show me New Testament scripture that supports exorcism for today.

 

The way exorcism is practiced by the catholic church I doubt I could.....    but Paul casting out the spirit from the fortune teller would actually be an exorcism....    There are many people today who are possessed and others who are not willing to be possessed but are harassed to the point of affecting their personalities.  And then there are those who are simply talked to and taken in thinking they are from God.

 

If you have not been around anything like that you are blessed.

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Well, you might want to talk to an exorcist.....    and I don't mean that as a joke.

As you know oo exorcist is not Biblical for the New Testament.

 

 

I've never heard that before...

 

Show me New Testament scripture that supports exorcism for today.

 

The way exorcism is practiced by the catholic church I doubt I could.....    but Paul casting out the spirit from the fortune teller would actually be an exorcism....    There are many people today who are possessed and others who are not willing to be possessed but are harassed to the point of affecting their personalities.  And then there are those who are simply talked to and taken in thinking they are from God.

 

If you have not been around anything like that you are blessed.

 

I am not saying that such a thing does not exist I am saying that the New Testament says we are not to do exorcism.The disciples did it because God had chosen them to perform that task for a reason.

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