don't know what to

[Godsgirl677]

I've been going to an all black church for six months I love the church. I finally found a church home I attend with my family. We are white. I made a bad mistake I played a stupid joke on Facebook I sent one of the members a horrible message cursing her out calling her the n word over and over. She defriended me right away and posted back a prayer. I made up a lie and said my Facebook got hacked. I don't know how to fix this. I called her she won't call me back I've texted her asking her if I can to her. In church she will hug me and say I love you but that's it, she looks my way she looks hurt, angry, and like about to cry. My typing is bad cuz I'm doing this on my phone but I don't know what to do. I feel like but I don't want to leave the church I also don't like the way this lady won't even let me explain yet she hug me and say I love you. How can she love me after what I did? I want to be her friend again but how when she won'teven give me the chance to explain? Everytime I pray I feel like I need to confess but I know that's going to make her mad and hurt her even more. She's a church leader very loving very sweet what do I do so she'll forgive me??? I want to be forgiven for the horrible things I said.

[He giveth more grace]

Did you go to Jesus first? Get it clean with him first, ask him and he will wash you of all sin with his blood.

You can understand that she was betrayed, how would you feel, every time she sees you she is reminded of what you did. You were unwise; Facebook can get you in trouble.

I sympathize with you, just forgive yourself and let this be an oppuntunity to learn from your mistake.

[Godsgirl677]

Yes I have asked him to wash me in his blood and to forgive me for I am really sorry. I'm so ashamed of myself still and I want this woman to forgive me but I don't know what to say or do she has been a blessing in my life and I really messed up big time. I'm also having a hard time forgiving myself. I hate knowing I hurt someone like this.......

[alien224]

Why would you do that thinking it was a joke? That word is very derogatory, negitive and hurtful. It was unwise and a slap in the face. I think you need to pray and ask for forgiveness and pray that this young lady will forgive and forget. I think you should evaluate how you feel about issues having to do with skin color. We are all children of God. He loves us all. Praying for you and hoping for the best.

[Advancing]

Monica, what was the joke?  Had you told similar jokes to her before and it was okay?  Or what made you talk like this?

[He giveth more grace]

Yes I have asked him to wash me in his blood and to forgive me for I am really sorry. I'm so ashamed of myself still and I want this woman to forgive me but I don't know what to say or do she has been a blessing in my life and I really messed up big time. I'm also having a hard time forgiving myself. I hate knowing I hurt someone like this.......

Acknowleging and confessing your sin Is a huge step in the right direction as for as God is concerned and for you personally. I am glad to see that you are contrite (broken, sincere) about this and have made your heart right before his throne.

Now forgive yourself after you sought God's forgiveness, now don't pick up this condemnation again, he promised to forgive us our sins.

About your friend, just give her a sweet smile for the time being, it may be too soon for words, show your humility and brokenness, don't push her. God will have to work in her also.

I think you have done everything that you can at this point. Keep praying and letting her see your quite and gentle spirit. ;-)

[He giveth more grace]

Yes I have asked him to wash me in his blood and to forgive me for I am really sorry. I'm so ashamed of myself still and I want this woman to forgive me but I don't know what to say or do she has been a blessing in my life and I really messed up big time. I'm also having a hard time forgiving myself. I hate knowing I hurt someone like this.......

Have you gone to someone in the church about this - your Pastor? A motherly-type, girlfriends of African decent within the church.

[Godsgirl677]

I have not yet, because I'm so ashamed at what I did.

[He giveth more grace]

I have not yet, because I'm so ashamed at what I did.

I completely understand and thinking about it this morning, you should be very careful whom you tell, it could be the wrong choice.

[other one]

677,    I'm going to be rather negative in this, but it needs to be said.    If you are soooooo  insensitive as to send any person of color something like that and even remotely consider it as a joke, something is wrong with you......   deeply wrong.   Christian people are supposed to love each other and if you really love someone how could you do that to them.......   then lie about it.

 

You have problems much worse than getting this ladies forgiveness....    you are not likely to do that until you discover what it is in you that would even let you think of doing such a thing.

When you understand the reality of why you would do that and can forgive yourself, then you might have some way of talking to this lady.   She has no reason whatsoever to think you are truly sorry for in her eyes there is only one reason you could have to want to even think about it........   somehow deep inside you have a serious problem........   take that to God first and when you can reconcile that you might be able to reconcile with the lady.