Shy Christian Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 Tanusha, I never labeled anyone a "filth mouth" to my son....I only used that term on this forum to depict that my friend (who said swearing is no big deal) uses foul language in her normal manner of speaking. Matthew, the Christian counselors at our church charge $50.00 per hour. We're a low income household and don't have the money for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew T. Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 481 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 537 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/20/2015 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/08/1959 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Matthew, the Christian counselors at our church charge $50.00 per hour. We're a low income household and don't have the money for that. If you have certified Psychologists on staff at your church, you have it going on there. But in my experience, government funding for such things is available in many states. Perhaps your church would even help with the cost in some way. If you haven't yet checked into it, maybe you should. If that doesn't pan out, where there's a real will, there's always a way. If the cost were 50$ per 1 hour session, you would possibly need one for each of you per month. I know 100$ a month can be taxing on an already limited income, but perhaps you and your son together could make a way. It's only a suggestion. I suggest this because I think the scope of what you both need is beyond being attained in a format such as this. And running around trying to put out all the brush fires caused by a core problem can be exhaustive and never-ending. Professional counseling can help you get to the roots of your issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.10 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2015 I'm not sure if your son is in his early, mid or late twenties but I can only look back and see myself at that age. He is an adult, he has his own life and, while you may not approve of the things he does, he has to find his own way. Being a helicopter parent of an adult is a no-win situation. I have kids that age and I would never dream of questioning their personal lives unless I thought they were falling away from the Lord. Even then, my influence would probably be minimal. I suggest you pray for him, stay open to communication from him, but taking him to counseling? At his age? You have to let go and trust that you raised him right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 307 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,143 Content Per Day: 4.62 Reputation: 27,832 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2015 Blessings Shy I'm sorry but I have to say that contrary to what I am hearing everyone else on this thread say,I disagree.......this kid,20 or 30 yrs old is living under your roof & that means the rules of the house apply,,,,,,,,including the cell phone because as I understand it,you are footing the bill!!!!! If he gets & pays for his own cell phone then that will be his private property & "no snooping" allowed-lol as long as you're paying,snoop on mama!!!! As you said ,he is wasting YOUR text allowances on garbage,,,,,,,you have every right (imo) to see where your texts are going ,,,,if I had a limit I would limit myself to what I send & I sure would not allow someone else to use up my texts on sheer nonsense such as that,,,,,,your son sounds like he is quite immature and is he not working or does he go to school? If you don't mind me asking,,,,,, He can have all the privacy he wants & send any texts he likes in his own apartment & on his own phone! Thats my thoughts!I think getting a glimpse into his extracurricular activities is a good thing ,,,,,sometimes what they are showing you & what they are really all about it 2 different things,,,,,,,he sounds like a pretty good kid but as a Christian mom I wouldn't like it either ,,,,,,as far as me & my household,we serve the Lord........can't do it,,,,,there's the door! And I am not talking out of the side of my mouth,,,,,,my own son wanted to use profane language & live like he lives,his way,under my roof......no way,he had to go! With love-in Christ,Kwik BTW,As mothers....as the father of the prodigal son ,,,,,,,,,,my door is always open BUT,.....the Christian rules apply! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Christian Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 kwikphilly, I was raised with "my house/my rules" and I feel the same. Yes, he is late 20's but admittedly immature (although getting better). He works but can only get low paying jobs. He has direct deposit into our one joint checking account so technically he's helping pay for his cell phone....regardless of that, I still don't approve of what I saw and I get the drift that possibly a girl is sending him nude photos of herself that are getting deleted before I can find out about them. That makes me mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,992 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,690 Content Per Day: 11.78 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2015 It would be a big deal to me no matter what his age is.If you love your son you want him to make wise choices.You want him to have some integrity,character and morals and values.I would sit down and have a talk with him.Tell him you have some concerns.Then if he has heard your words let it go it is then between your son and God.Pray for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloe_fantastic Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 868 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 221 Days Won: 2 Joined: 06/09/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1981 Share Posted June 12, 2015 If he was my son, he'd be paying for his own phone with his own money. He's an adult. His money would be separate from mine. If I needed help from him for things like rent, food, utilities, we'd agree on a certain amount of money for him to contribute. The way I was raised is you grow up, you move out, you take care of yourself. That was the definition of a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.10 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2015 If he was my son, he'd be paying for his own phone with his own money. He's an adult. His money would be separate from mine. If I needed help from him for things like rent, food, utilities, we'd agree on a certain amount of money for him to contribute. The way I was raised is you grow up, you move out, you take care of yourself. That was the definition of a man. Or a woman. I was raised the same way. No criticism of the OP but a grown son should not be sharing a bank account and cell phone account with his mother unless he's disabled or something. My kids were set free when they reached 21 and none of them ended up homeless or addicted to anything. Think of the mama bird and the nest....God, in His wisdom, never intended adults to be dependent on their parents but to go out and create their own lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.10 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2015 kwikphilly, I was raised with "my house/my rules" and I feel the same. Yes, he is late 20's but admittedly immature (although getting better). He works but can only get low paying jobs. He has direct deposit into our one joint checking account so technically he's helping pay for his cell phone....regardless of that, I still don't approve of what I saw and I get the drift that possibly a girl is sending him nude photos of herself that are getting deleted before I can find out about them. That makes me mad. Why do you need to find out about them? His sex life should not concern you. You have to separate from this grown son or he will never grow up. Let him get his own bank account and his own cell phone since he is earning a paycheck; that way he can live his own life. My kids had those things in high school; it would've driven me bonkers sharing accounts with ANYONE. No judgement, sister, but do him a favor and push him out of the nest gently but firmly. It's the best thing for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Christian Posted June 12, 2015 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 23 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 198 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 57 Days Won: 1 Joined: 08/03/2006 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 12, 2015 He can't afford to live anywhere else when he doesn't even earn "two figures" per year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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