Why I left the Worship Team

[barracuda]

I have to share this story. It's just too good not to let you in on....

Shortly after the new year started my next door neighbor, our worship pastor,

announces to the church that he is taking a job with his old church back in

Colorado and leaving (heck, wouldn't you grab that one? Colorado - are you

kidding me!!!). His last Sunday was last week. Anyway, I'm only his next door

neighbor, whom we've played racquetball, golf, etc. He doesn't tell me until he

tells the rest of the group, even though he knew back in November. HELLO!!! I

guess that leaves me out of the "friends" category, eh?

Anyway, I had sent him a e-mail back before Christmas telling him I wanted to

cut back my commitment to the team, etc. he basically ignores me on that one.

And to give you the details, my wife hates the church, and has never felt at

home there. But we had made out a worship team schedule through February, so I

promised to finish my commitment until then.

So...once Michael (my now former next door neighbor) leaves I make sure to let

the interim worship leader (a guy named Shawn who has been a part of the team

with me since I've been there) of my intentions to leave at the end of February,

when the schedule is through for the winter. Well, I had e-mailed Shawn back

in the middle of January, and he never responded to my e-mail. Well, since I

hadn't heard from him that way, I took the liberty of sending him a letter

through the USPS to make sure that he got the message. I didn't want to leave

him hanging at the last minute. I felt I owed them at least that much. Keep in

mind that I mailed this on Monday, he got it on Tuesday, which is when he

finally e-mails me to tell me he got my letter, and thanks me for staying

through February and we leave it at that.

Well, the plot thickens. I get an e-mail yesterday from him saying that he

needed to meet with me, because we needed to talk. So I met with him last night

an hour before the worship team was supposed to start rehearsals. It had to

have been the shortest meeting I've ever had with anyone. He simply tells me

that I can leave effective immediately, and that I will no longer be needed on

the worship team. He says that I need to be with my family, since my family is

not attending the church anymore, and that he needs continuity on the team, and

he needs to start getting used to playing with the keyboardists that will be

there.

So basically I am church free. It's more of a relief then anything else. A

little insight for you on Cornerstone Chapel - not that you asked, but I'll give

it to you anyway. I classify Cornerstone as a church "corporation". They've

got the bible teaching down to a science, but they have ZERO one on one

compassion with/for people. If I died tomorrow would I want the pastor doing my

funeral? Heck no. The man probably doesn't even know the names of my children

, or my wife for that matter, even though I'm there 3 days a week and at each of

the four services every week. They really treat people like a number there.

They make an announcement at every service telling people to turn off their

cellphones and their children (I kid you not). They "strongly recommend" (who

are we kidding here - they force you) to keep your children out of the sanctuary

during services, so that they can be taugh on "their level". Yeah, I get it,

but there are better ways to get the message across to people without making it

a focus of your worship service.

My wife brought a bottled water to church one Sunday. The ushers

wouldn't let her in the sanctuary. She was angry and so was I. I know we

aren't supposed to have food and drink in the sanctuary, but this was WATER!!!

not like it's gonna stain anything!!! Oh, and the hypocrisy in that is that the

worship team all have their own private bottled water on stage at every service

. So, it's ok for the worship team, but not for congregants? How stupid!!!

My wife had also made several attempts to form her own home bible study. She

called the church on several occassions, and it just seemed like they'd put her

off, stall her, and basically tell her they'd get back to her. Real spiritual

growth opportunity there! Here is a woman that was willing to host a bible

study, but the church wasn't interested in supporting it. What are we -

criminals?!!!

And here really is the synopsis of why I won't be back. I was having some

problems here at work in dealing with a co-worker. I wanted some spiritual

guidance of a professional nature. So I e-mailed my Senior Pastor to ask for an

appointment to meet with him to discuss it. Keep in mind that I'm not just

some schmoe he doesn't know. I'm on the worship team - he knows me (or so I

think). He replies via e-mail that he doesn't have time to meet with me and

that I need to talk to someone else on staff. No thanks Gary (our senior pastor

). If I wanted to meet with another one of your crew I would have asked them to

begin with. I want your advice. But he says he doesn't counsel anymore, and

that he's too busy to do that anymore, because he spends all of his time

preparing for his sermons and the worship services every week. What a crock of

crap. And yet pretty much once a month in his sermons he mentions that he "met

with this person just last week" to discuss whatever. Hmmm...you'll meet other

people, but not me. Am I missing anything here? Guess I don't rate, huh?

So, basically I'm done with Cornerstone, and done with being on any worship team

. I'm resolved to sitting on the sidelines for quite sometime. In fact, I

think the only way I'll ever play on a worship team is if I am compensated. I

mean, I was giving Cornerstone a good ten hours a week, between four services,

and rehearsals, etc. I was there every Sunday from 7 AM till 1 PM, and I was

dismissed as easily as a quick 5 minute meeting. Guess my contributions were

really important to them eh?

The hypocrisy of all of this is that our former worship pastor gets several

going away parties, $350 in gift certificates as a "love offering", and who

knows what else in parting with the church. I was there just as much as he was

and I get a simple drop kick out the door. Yeah, that's fair I think.

So anyway, I thought I'd share the "love" that was prevalent at Cornerstone

Chapel with you. Great bible teaching church, but if you want the love of

Christ shown to you look somewhere else. The wife and I are going to take our

sweet time in finding a church "family". I don't want any more church

corporations where you are herded in like cattle and treated like a number,

amongst 1,000 other people. I want to go somewhere where I can meet with the

senior pastor and he's genuinely interested in my personal spiritual growth, and

he might actually even know the names of the members of my family. I want a

church where I can participate in a intimate bible study with 5 or 6 other

couples. People we have over for dinner, and have us over as well. We share

the joys and pains of our lives together and are generally there for each other

no matter the circumstances.

Anyway, I haven't had a church like that since we moved from Fort Lauderdale in

2000. I'm beginning to think it doesn't exist here in Leesburg.

Don't you just love church politics?

Edited January 29, 2005 by IslandRose

[apothanein kerdos]

You, my friend, are a victim of the modern American church. My advice to you is that whatever job you are at, if it is where God has called you, is your ministry. Why must we be active within church? The Bible commands us not to forsake the gathering of the brethren, so it is important to go and be fed...but why do we have to spend 10 hours there a week? The simple response is that we don't. I say stick to the ministry God has called you to, which is your family, and then your job. The "church" can wait. Still...find a church where you can be fed.

[FaithfulFollower]

Barracuda,

It is unfortunate to hear of such ill feelings towards the church, however it is not hard to understand why they are felt. My heart goes out to you, for indeed the church within today's world has become more corrupt with greed as well as feelings of self righteousness that it is no longer much of a house for the Lord.

Do not loose heart, or faith on account of this. Keep God close in the family as well as your own heart. If neccessary seek out another church of which will better welcome and minister unto your spiritual needs, as well as yours and the family's relationship with the Lord.

With Love In Christ,

Danielle

[Guest Christian Counselor]

You really have good reason to be angry because of the way the church treated you.With Christians like that,who needs atheists?Here's a tip when you finally feel recovered enough from your church abuse to start looking for another one;when the minister stands up and tells everyone to turn off both their cell phones AND their children,you know for sure you're in the wrong building.You should immediately get up and ask an usher what building to go to for a family ministry.

If you follow biblical teaching this bitter experience will be used by God to help and bless you and your family..Ever hear these words:"REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY (the whole day)TO KEEP IT HOLY".Church services should only be a small part of our Sabbath day worship.So now that you are church-free,you should have the motivation to start a home church starting with a Bible study group led by your wife.Because of your dramatic experience,you have learned what can be both good and bad about churches.You now have the experience and knowledge to start your own home-based church and create spiritual activities throughout the entire day to obay the commandment,"REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY TO KEEP IT HOLY".You can now turn a bitter event into a great learning experience that will greatly increase the spirituality of your entire family.This is how God is going to turn something evil into something good for you and your family.The Holy Spirit is telling me that God is calling you to establish a home church.GO FOR IT AND PRAISE HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR YOU! And don't forget,leave your children turned on!

[UndecidedFrog]

This is just my opinion. You don't need to accept it if you dislike it. DISCLAIMER: I am not a christian.

With Christians like that,who needs atheists?

Just a note to let you know that atheists are not your enemy. Furthermore, no one "needs" atheists. It's just that in some circles they are preferred.

Regards,

UndecidedFrog

[Joe Christian]

I can understand it. I hate being just a number too. My wife and I attend a church of roughly 300. ( lighter in summer because of the college break ) We are just comfortable with it. We have been members of a small church before and that is NOT easy either. ( guilt tripping you into doing things ) Barracuda, I understand how volunteering in a church can be hard and there are many different struggles. I hope that you will again minister in music at another church someday. It's sad that you were treated this way. These big churches that in a sense have a dress code, (and other stupid things like such things as a water bottle) It's a shame that those places would turn away John The Baptist for the way he would be dressed. How sad.

[nebula]

Hey, barracuda!

I sure appreciate your frustration! I've had to leave my church for the love-of-program superceding the love-of-the-bretheren there.

I am a little concerned about your vent, though. Not that you vented, but the spirit, or attitude if you will, that comes out through it. I don't fault your feelings of bitterness; I am just asking you to guard your heart, you know?

"There but for the grace of God go I." You know what this means, don't you?

Likewise, "In your anger, do not sin."

Tend the wounds and mourn the loss, but don't allow that bitterness weed to take over your garden, you know? And "Don't give the devil a foothold."

Be strong in the Lord, and be careful, OK?

[Yahsway]

I too agree with Nebula. Same thing happened where I used to attend. Just be strong and be very careful not to let bitterness take root.

Ill be praying for you and remember you are not in this alone. The love of many is waxing cold. We must stay focused on Yeshua and have love for the brethern.

Be blessed, Cindy

[Guest Jacee]

Barracuda

Hey we practically are neighbors. I live so close to you I could throw a stone and hit your backyard. lol Just kidding. But, I am in a town called O----. Will let you fill in the blanks.

Just wanted to post that we were members here of a church that is large also. My husband said to the pastor that he had sent an email to him and received no response. He said that he doesn't even get his emails but that his secretary is the one who responds and sorts out which ones he should read. Maybe????

And I agree with KatyAnn. Is also the way of the churches in the beginning.

[barracuda]

Barracuda

Hey we practically are neighbors.  I live so close to you I could throw a stone and hit your backyard.  lol  Just kidding.  But, I am in a town called O----.  Will let you fill in the blanks.

Not a clue what town around Leesburg begins with an "O".

Maybe it's somewhere else you are thinking I am from?