Heartbroken!

[T.lehin]

2 hours ago, *Deidre* said:

Pray about this, perhaps you are feeling it was a small lie as to not lose him. If someone lies, and trust is broken...don't sweep that under the carpet. Be careful that what you may feel isn't just that you miss him, and you're willing to accept bad behaviors in order to have the relationship. That happens a lot. Praying for you. Break ups are hard, no matter what. 

Hi Deidre,

Thank you. Yeah, I was telling myself that nobody is perfect and that i went too far judging him. But I am steadily getting better. I know God has the best in stock for me.  God bless you Deidre.

[T.lehin]

2 hours ago, Butero said:

At the time when you found out about the lie, it was obviously something serious to you, enough to break up.  I really don't know what has happened since then to change that, except you miss your former boyfriend.  I have no idea what you are apologizing for.  If you found out that you were wrong about him lying and accused him falsely, I could understand you apologizing, but it seems that you just want him back in spite of his short comings. 

Only you know in your heart how important his telling what now seems like a small lie means to you.  I understand having regrets.  We all have them over past things we have done, because we must live with the consequences.  Sometimes they can't be undone.  If he was willing to come back to you, and you were seeking advise on whether to take him back, I suppose I would say that is a personal decision you alone must make, but just know that it is likely he will be dishonest again.  Then I would ask if you can live with that in the future?  In this case, he doesn't want to reconcile, so there is no decision to be made.  You can't change the past.  There is no way to know if he wanted to break up all along, unless he comes out and says so. 

I guess the only advise I can give is just to stop looking behind and start looking towards the future.  Just accept the fact that this relationship wasn't meant to be, and know that there are other guys out there, and there is one that is really right for you.  I noticed that in your latest posts, you seem to be feeling better, and I am glad to hear that.  Sometimes we must just accept things as they are.  I wish you well. 

Hi Butero,

I was apologizing for not being patient with him. I got into this mood and started telling myself that 'love is patient'. That's why I was apologizing. But I am ready to look forward now. Putting the past behind me. Sometimes, it feels easy and sometimes it's a little bit hard for me. But I know God is working something through me. Thank you Butero. God bless you. 

[HAZARD]

2 hours ago, T.lehin said:

Hi Hazard,

thank you so so much for this. Your testimony about your marriage encouraged me, and the bible verse inspired me. God bless you. I am learning to trust God now. I feel more at peace with the whole thing. God bless you immensely. 

Dear T.lehin.

Thank you for your blessing, you are too kind. Don't fee bad about the situation. You found out about, or suspected he was lying to you or about you and you rightly so, broke up with him because of this. Telling lies is a serious business, especially to a partner.

 No one can trust a lier, no one, not even a just and loving God trusts a lier. he Himself says, "No lier will enter into Heaven.

 If, your X-boyfriend truly loved you as you truly loved him, and if he did not in fact lie, and he knowing you apologised and was prepared to have him back, I would naturally assume, that if he truly loved you, he would be pleased to have you back in his arms, immediately.

Life is long and difficult enough without having to constantly doubt ones life long partner. You deserve better than that. I had a wonderful friend, he had only daughters and was much older than I am now when he said this to me when one of my daughters was having problems with her man.

Haz, old mate,  "Our girls (daughters), are innocent, beautiful, trustworthy, loving and caring, until they go out into the world, meet and are seared by a man or men!"

Thirty years later, after much life experience, I could not agree more.

Take care sweet girl, rely on God, listen to your heart and rely on the Holy Spirit.

 

[T.lehin]

10 minutes ago, HAZARD said:

Dear T.lehin.

Thank you for your blessing, you are too kind. Don't fee bad about the situation. You found out about, or suspected he was lying to you or about you and you rightly so, broke up with him because of this. Telling lies is a serious business, especially to a partner.

 No one can trust a lier, no one, not even a just and loving God trusts a lier. he Himself says, "No lier will enter into Heaven.

 If, your X-boyfriend truly loved you as you truly loved him, and if he did not in fact lie, and he knowing you apologised and was prepared to have him back, I would naturally assume, that if he truly loved you, he would be pleased to have you back in his arms, immediately.

Life is long and difficult enough without having to constantly doubt ones life long partner. You deserve better than that. I had a wonderful friend, he had only daughters and was much older than I am now when he said this to me when one of my daughters was having problems with her man.

Haz, old mate,  "Our girls (daughters), are innocent, beautiful, trustworthy, loving and caring, until they go out into the world, meet and are seared by a man or men!"

Thirty years later, after much life experience, I could not agree more.

Take care sweet girl, rely on God, listen to your heart and rely on the Holy Spirit.

 

Hello Haz,

i believe that God specifically sent you to me during this period. I cannot thank you enough. I know someday, I will come back here to give a testimony about the way the whole thing eventually turned out. I will rely on the Holy Spirit in this period. God's mighty blessings to you and your beautiful family. 

[HAZARD]

Dear T.lehin.

Thank you, I sincerely appreciate your blessing, it means so much to me, an elder to be thought so much of. You are obeying God's wishes even though you may not even realise it!

Leviticus 19:32, Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.
Proverb 16:31, The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

The hoary head is the grey hair on us oldies, old but much life experience. We can get nearly everything back that we loose in life. Money, health, more children, homes that are lost, but the one thing one can never get back is "TIME!"

Oldies like myself can share this with younger people, time we spent on this Earth, life experience is a valuable priceless commodity.

You are a beautiful young woman heading out into the world. Take care at all times in whom you trust and to whom you give your heart to.

 I know it would please all of us here if you were to keep in touch with us and be a part of this community. You will find most of us here are in Jesus but on different rungs of our knowledge in the Word of God, and we all only have to best in mind for you and yours.  Any questions on any doctrine or any subject at all regarding God, please feel free to ask. If I cannot provide you with the answer, I'm sure there are many here who can and would do so.

I pray you have great success in your up and coming exams.  Kindest regards, Old Grandpa, Haz.

 

[T.lehin]

14 minutes ago, HAZARD said:

Dear T.lehin.

Thank you, I sincerely appreciate your blessing, it means so much to me, an elder to be thought so much of. You are obeying God's wishes even though you may not even realise it!

Leviticus 19:32, Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.
Proverb 16:31, The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.

The hoary head is the grey hair on us oldies, old but much life experience. We can get nearly everything back that we loose in life. Money, health, more children, homes that are lost, but the one thing one can never get back is "TIME!"

Oldies like myself can share this with younger people, time we spent on this Earth, life experience is a valuable priceless commodity.

You are a beautiful young woman heading out into the world. Take care at all times in whom you trust and to whom you give your heart to.

 I know it would please all of us here if you were to keep in touch with us and be a part of this community. You will find most of us here are in Jesus but on different rungs of our knowledge in the Word of God, and we all only have to best in mind for you and yours.  Any questions on any doctrine or any subject at all regarding God, please feel free to ask. If I cannot provide you with the answer, I'm sure there are many here who can and would do so.

I pray you have great success in your up and coming exams.  Kindest regards, Old Grandpa, Haz.

 

Dear Haz

i totally agree with you on the Importance of life experiences. There is a proverbs from where I come which goes thus: 'A child might have more clothes than an oldie, but the child can never have more rags than the oldie'. It's a proverbs on life experiences of an elder. I can't wait to learn more from you. It's a privilege. I will definitely come here more often. The little time I've spent here has really blessed me. 

Thank you so much for your concern. Can't appreciate enough. 

[*Deidre*]

9 hours ago, T.lehin said:

Hi Deidre,

Thank you. Yeah, I was telling myself that nobody is perfect and that i went too far judging him. But I am steadily getting better. I know God has the best in stock for me.  God bless you Deidre.

Yea, I hear you...if someone however lies in a relationship, it's okay to no longer wish to date the person any longer. No one is perfect true, but lying early on in a relationship means things will only get worse, in my experiences. Putting up with lying isn't loving, it's enabling the other person to lie. Forgiving is one thing, and we should always be forgiving, but that doesn't mean we need to stay in relationships that aren't healthy for us in the long run. The fact that he ended things with you over this, tells me that he wanted you to just accept this about him, and since you didn't...he was moving on. Take some time to heal, and there will be others out there who will be grateful to be with you.

 

[T.lehin]

37 minutes ago, *Deidre* said:

Yea, I hear you...if someone however lies in a relationship, it's okay to no longer wish to date the person any longer. No one is perfect true, but lying early on in a relationship means things will only get worse, in my experiences. Putting up with lying isn't loving, it's enabling the other person to lie. Forgiving is one thing, and we should always be forgiving, but that doesn't mean we need to stay in relationships that aren't healthy for us in the long run. The fact that he ended things with you over this, tells me that he wanted you to just accept this about him, and since you didn't...he was moving on. Take some time to heal, and there will be others out there who will be grateful to be with you.

 

You are totally right. Guess I was allowing my emotions to cloud judgment. Thank you Deidre. Thank you so much everyone. I'm filled with gratitude. God bless you all

[kwikphilly]

Blessings

   I am sorry you had a brief e5ncounter with sadness but I am happier you did not "force" a relationship into a lifetime of regrets & much sadness

  Because this is Gods Inner Court I would prefer to focus on Him & not a "Dear Abbey" Thread(no offense intended),I love the Verse of Scripture HAZARD quoted,,,,,,

Quote

Psalm 40:4, "Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies."

Trust God,seek His Wisdom,Understanding  & Direction     It is not easy to not feel sorry for ourselves ,our natural man can be quite consumed with "self" ,,,,,the less we focus on our desires,our wants,ourselves the more we can focus on Jesus and walk in Spirit & in Truth,forsaking that carnal heart & mind,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,To God be the Glory,help us all LORD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WE NEED you!                     wITH LOVE-IN Christ,KWIK