What do you think about Boundaries?

[GoldenEagle]

Here's a quote from the book that I think is relevant to the conversation. Boundaries are not selfish. They are not contrary to God's Word. Personal boundaries can be defined as guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how he/she will respond when someone passes those limits.

I'll even link the Scripture in the KJV since that seems to be very popular on this forum these days. 

God bless,
GE

 

Quote

 

1. If I set boundaries, I am being selfish. 

This objection against setting boundaries is raised by Christians who fear being considered as self-centered, interested only in their own concerns and not those of others. They rightly point out that we are to be loving people, concerned for the welfare of others. In fact, the love for one another is the number one hallmark of Christians, as pointed out in the Bible over and over again (Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:19, Luke 10:27, John 13:35, Romans 13:10, Galatians 5:14, James 2:8). Don’t boundaries turn us away from that ideal toward self-centeredness?

Quite the opposite is true. Appropriate boundaries actually make us able to care about others. In fact, people with highly developed limits are the most caring people in the world. How can this be?

Basically it is because they experience that their own needs are taken care of, so they have plenty of energy to care about others.

We all have needs, desires, and wishes. Selfishness only looks at our own wishes and desires, but not at what we really need. As a consequence, we lose balance and our focus on healthy goals and our responsibility to love others. For instance, some may desperately need help with the fact that they are terrible listeners or that they cannot share their possessions. But they may not desire this. God is much more interested in meeting our needs than granting all our wishes.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

That doesn’t mean our wishes are “all bad”. God will meet many of them but they are certainly less important.

Nevertheless, although God takes care of our need, he expects our participation. It is our responsibility to ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7), before we can receive, find, and get doors opened. There will be little spiritual and emotional growth if we do not bring our needs before God and do everything we can to get these needs fulfilled. Taking care of our own life is stewardship, not selfishness, because because we properly manage this precious gift from God instead of neglecting it due to a lack of boundaries. 

 

 

[Guest shiloh357]

I don't see how having boundaries and recognizing boundaries is "worldly."   Every relationship has boundaries.  Can you imagine what marriages would be like if there were no boundaries?    What if a married man wanted to bring a woman home from work to have relations with her?   Wouldn't that be crossing several boundary lines?    The reason many marriages are in shambles is because of adultery and the refusal to remain within the boundaries of marital fidelity.

[Guest shiloh357]

3 minutes ago, GoldenEagle said:

Here's a quote from the book that I think is relevant to the conversation. Boundaries are not selfish. They are not contrary to God's Word. Personal boundaries can be defined as guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how he/she will respond when someone passes those limits.

I'll even link the Scripture in the KJV since that seems to be very popular on this forum these days. 

God bless,
GE

 

 

I agree. Boundaries actually demonstrate respect for another person.   When you are at work, and you speak and act appropriately with the opposite sex, you are demonstrating respect for the boundaries of that relationship and for the other person.

It's the same when you are with anyone.  When you recognize the kind of relationship that exists and act in accordance with what is expected of you, you are demonstrating that you care about how the other person feels about the relationship and you never violate the implied trust they give.  

So the notion that boundaries are selfish is nonsense. 

[GoldenEagle]

5 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

I agree. Boundaries actually demonstrate respect for another person.   When you are at work, and you speak and act appropriately with the opposite sex, you are demonstrating respect for the boundaries of that relationship and for the other person.

It's the same when you are with anyone.  When you recognize the kind of relationship that exists and act in accordance with what is expected of you, you are demonstrating that you care about how the other person feels about the relationship and you never violate the implied trust they give.  

So the notion that boundaries are selfish is nonsense. 

I would agree with you Shiloh. What about the notion that boundaries are sinful or against Scripture? 

God bless,

GE

[Guest shiloh357]

Just now, GoldenEagle said:

I would agree with you Shiloh. What about the notion that boundaries are sinful or against Scripture? 

God bless,

GE

That would go against the very concept of Holiness.    The Bible calls us to make difference between the sacred and the secular.  There is a boundary line between the Holy and the profane.  When we sin we cross boundaries. I cannot imagine how boundaries could violate any part of Scripture.

[GoldenEagle]

@kwikphilly I will try to respond to your post here on Proverbs 22:24, Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 6:14, Joshua 1:8, Proverbs 21:19, Colossians 4:6, Colossians 4:6, Matthew 5:28 later on this weekend. 

@Openly Curious I will try to respond to your post here on Galatians 6:7 – 8 and 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 later on this weekend. 

@Davida I will try to respond to your post here on Proverbs 22:24 and Philippians 4:8 later on this weekend. 

 

I also would love thoughts on the 3rd law (The Law of Power) discussing Romans 7: 15-23 presented in the Boundaries book on this post. 

With all the rabbit trails and one line comments I don't want the meat of the discussion to be lost. Particularly since the intent of this thread is to discuss Scripture and understand how to function in a healthy manner as a Believer. 

God bless,
GE

[Hippie333]

24 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

That would go against the very concept of Holiness.    The Bible calls us to make difference between the sacred and the secular.  There is a boundary line between the Holy and the profane.  When we sin we cross boundaries. I cannot imagine how boundaries could violate any part of Scripture.

Well said

 

[Guest Robert]

31 minutes ago, shiloh357 said:

That would go against the very concept of Holiness.    The Bible calls us to make difference between the sacred and the secular.  There is a boundary line between the Holy and the profane.  When we sin we cross boundaries. I cannot imagine how boundaries could violate any part of Scripture.

Precisely: God establishes boundaries in Scripture, and in following the Lord we recognize that there are indeed boundaries and that the establishment of them is necessary for humanity. The word "transgression" IMO is the violation of boundaries, as the idea is that a boundary or line has been crossed and when committed, the one crossing the boundary is now in an area spiritually, physically or otherwise that they should not be.

[Guest shiloh357]

16 minutes ago, RobertS said:

Precisely: God establishes boundaries in Scripture, and in following the Lord we recognize that there are indeed boundaries and that the establishment of them is necessary for humanity. The word "transgression" IMO is the violation of boundaries, as the idea is that a boundary or line has been crossed and when committed, the one crossing the boundary is now in an area spiritually, physically or otherwise that they should not be.

Exactly!

[Dok]

I would like for everyone to consider capitalization.

Spirit, Spiritual, when speaking of the Holy Spirit: those emphases provided by Him.

spirit, spiritual, when speaking of non-Spiritual matters.  (In fact, I avoid the use of lower-case spirit / spiritual when speaking of those things Holy.)

For example, one has to proceed with caution which addressing "soul and spirit," and "heart" in Hebrews 4:12.  And then there is "church" (an assembly), and Church, the Body of Christ. 

There are other examples. 

 

 

Edited September 4, 2016 by Dok