Married women and their money

[Ezra]

6 minutes ago, Blessed_Monk said:

The observation? That in your zeal to speak ill of women you did not read your own Rudyard Kipling copy and paste? One that is speaking of bears not women.

Read it again.  It is speaking of bears, cobras, squaws, women, and all kinds of species.  As to "speaking ill of women" that poem is to set the record straight.  Men can be maligned, but women are always the innocent party in too many situations, especially child custody cases.  

[Blessed_Monk]

20 minutes ago, Ezra said:

Read it again.  It is speaking of bears, cobras, squaws, women, and all kinds of species.  As to "speaking ill of women" that poem is to set the record straight.  Men can be maligned, but women are always the innocent party in too many situations, especially child custody cases.  

I did read it.

And you're attitude toward women is clearly personal and because of your last remark about custody cases. 

You should seek healing for what hurts you still. Rather than think to take revenge on women as a whole and anonymously on a forum using a pseudonym to hide behind in that endeavor. What you're doing would grieve the Holy Spirit indwelling any believer.

Seek peace. Because women don't deserve what else you're intending to deliver them here.

[Omegaman 3.0]

You know Monk, the topic is married women and their money, not analyzing Kipling poetry nor your opinions about Ezra's supposed attitude toward women. Stick to the topic please, or abstain from commenting.

[Blessed_Monk]

52 minutes ago, Omegaman 3.0 said:

You know Monk, the topic is married women and their money, not analyzing Kipling poetry nor your opinions about Ezra's supposed attitude toward women. Stick to the topic please, or abstain from commenting.

Now if only that same admonition would be applied toward one who's comments are designed to assail women .
I've found there is an ignore function here. Works wonderfully to solve his problem. Thanks .

[Heavenunlimited]

5 hours ago, Ezra said:

So there's no need to promote the idea that men are evil and women are not.  There are some very diabolical women, and so we have the saying that the female of the species is more deadly than the male (Kipling).

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man's timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn't his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other's tale --
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations-worm and savage otherwise, --
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger --- Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue --  to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity -- must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions -- not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions -- in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! --
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges --  even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons -- even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish -- like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it cames that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice -- which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern -- shall enthral but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.

Whether it is in Christian marriages or non-Christian marriages, husbands and wives generally understand that after marriage there is no such thing as "his money" vs "her money".  It becomes "their money", and if that is not feasible, they would be better off not marrying.But for Christians, this goes much further, since God sees them as a SINGLE ENTITY.  

And that said my friend to me too, only to threat and abuse me as he knew I had no place because of NO MONEY. 

Or when I need to take out a loan because he has debt, but I cant, because voila, no bank account! Which the takes ages to get, as the passports run out too and without passport, no bank account! Which HE encouraged not to!!! 

Or the endless humiliations in stores when something needed a refund, being afraid because what if they take you because its not your card!! 

How you cant even build credit!

how you cant even subscribe to a magazine! Because you dont have a bank account in YOUR name!

I could go on. 

No with no passport or id theres no joint authorisations.

Its not about wether unity or not. Its just not practically doable if she doesnt have her own bank account with money in it. 

You can still have one account together and one for each.

also, noone should take away the freedom to use money, to buy, to have their own money. That is classed  everywhere as abuse!

[Omegaman 3.0]

3 hours ago, Blessed_Monk said:

Now if only that same admonition would be applied toward one who's comments are designed to assail women .
I've found there is an ignore function here. Works wonderfully to solve his problem. Thanks

Actually, some people tell me that they do not see the ignore option, but here again, you are going off topic, and attempting to judge the heart of another, and not addressing the topic of the thread. Consider this more that a mere suggestion about expected behavior.

[Blessed_Monk]

Myopia not withstanding. I judge as he doth judge. But is given a pass. And typically moderator actions are demonstrated with respect for a member and as such that is what private messaging is for. Not public shaming tactics.

I'll not pursue further. I see where the deck is stacked. And I don't read anti-woman hate speech any longer because I do see the ignore option.

That's all I have to say about that.

 

Now to the  topic:

Women are fully entitled to work for their own betterment, even when married. The old axiom of barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen no longer applies. And indeed was an unfit standard even when it was in practice long ages ago in America. Wherein there were laws that prohibited women from inheriting property even from their own parents. Unless of course the woman was wed.

There was a time when spousal rape was not prosecutable. There were times when spousal abuse wasn't either. Two people unite together in one marriage but that does not mean the woman loses her identity. Or her capacity to sustain herself should anything go awry.

There are vicious men who are sweet as honey in the dating stage. Then when they marry their girlfriend the mask comes off. Because now her status as wife does not require the act of seduction with niceties anymore. 

How many women who are beaten to black and blue, broken bones, split lips, raped, by their husband, have said to a crisis counselor, I don't know what happened to us! He was so sweet and caring in the beginning!

No he wasn't. That kind of person never found a home in such a man as that. What was appearing before that poor beaten woman was an actor. Very skilled, very determined, to get what he wanted. Her. As property. And that's what many a man who invokes scriptures and God as cause for that attitude of property and the wife believe.

That's why they say a woman has no right to her own bank account. No right to have monies available to her and her alone so that she has an out if a mask falls. If a fist finds its target on her person. Or that of her children. A woman gives life to her kids. And many a woman has lost her life because the masked evil they married and that fathered those kids saw them as his property too.

Ladies, trust experience forewarning you when you are still young, beautiful, single, or married. Don't ever let any man in your life tell you you have no right to your own financial independence! Don't EVER let that persuasion take control of your life so that you agree!

Because the moment a man tells you you have no right to financial independence, that's a man that is telling you he's in control. And you will live by his leave. And that is a forewarning that should tell you that he's dangerous. Because the thought of you being able to live without him is not to be tolerated. He's dangerous when he tells you by his actions or even outright, that you have no right to be free of him once you're married.

That's the kind of man that kills you. Because you are entitled to die rather than leave him alone. He's in control. "God says so!"

A strong man is never threatened by a strong woman.

A cowardly man is threatened by a strong woman.

Don't fall for a coward. And if you find you're with one, RUN! Because cowards are in prison right now for killing what they could not control. A woman's thoughts that were suddenly no subject to his control.

When God created Eve he didn't take the bone from Adam's foot so that he could walk on her. When God created Eve God did not take the bone from Adam's skull so that she could reign over Adam. When God created Eve he took the bone, the DNA matrix, from Adam's rib. That part of his frame that was at the center of his being. That equidistant point between the head and the foundation.

Women are not less than. How do you know this ladies? Because after God made man with a scrotum and seed for the future generations, he created a sacred vessel that he invested with the unique powerful capacity to bring life into this world and sustain that life from her own body, the milk of her breasts.

You are not less than! You are equal to everything God made you to be as the only way human life in this world crowns into being.

You are not property! You are powerful and precious. God knows. 

Edited February 9, 2017 by Blessed_Monk

[*Deidre*]

On 2/6/2017 at 8:09 AM, Leonardo Von said:

Dear sister Deidre,

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Forgive me, sister, but I disagree with you.

See what the Holy Scripture says:

 

·        “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Peter 3. 7)

·        “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19.3-8).

·        “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

 

Note how the covenant of the Eternal is made with the man and the woman enters as the idoneous helper of man. Consider also what Paul says:

 

·        “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11.3).

 

In this way who controls, not only the finances, but the home is Christ using the life of the husband. The woman enters helping husband in what Jesus proposed to him.

Whether the woman likes it or not, the head of the home is her husband. What a woman can do, before marrying, is to check what there is in the mind of the future husband. If his ideas are consistent with what Christ wants for the home, surely submission will be a blessing and whatever a woman does will contribute to the glory of the Eternal's kingdom and so that all will find their true satisfaction in Christ.

In addition, the woman should pray to see if she was made for the person she is about to marry, and, if Jesus confirms this, all that remains is to accept and trust the Jesus will fulfill all His good, pleasing and perfect Will at home (Romans 12.2).

May Jesus help us not to let ourselves be guided by our way of seeing and understanding things. Instead, that we may let Jesus work within both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Philippians 2: 12-13).

So long as the man realizes that he must be a true leader, as Christ leads the Church, then it would make sense for him to lead the home. I believe in men leading the home, as I wish for my fiance to be the leader when we marry, but he must also lead as Christ leads the Church. It doesn't mean that a man can treat his wife poorly, and still be the head of the household. He has a large responsibility, so that's important to remember when viewing this Scripture.

[Leonardo Von]

Dear sister Deidre,

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

On 2/11/2017 at 1:23 AM, *Deidre* said:

So long as the man realizes that he must be a true leader, as Christ leads the Church, then it would make sense for him to lead the home. I believe in men leading the home, as I wish for my fiance to be the leader when we marry, but he must also lead as Christ leads the Church.

 

I agree with this you said. Paul make this very plain:

 

·        “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” (Ephesians 5.25-27).

 

On 2/11/2017 at 1:23 AM, *Deidre* said:

It doesn't mean that a man can treat his wife poorly, and still be the head of the household.

 

About this you said, you really believe that this may happen if you leave Jesus take you up to the individual who He prepared especially for you? Beloved sister, with all love in Christ I incentive you to believe and live the following excerpt of the Holy Scripture:

 

·        “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12.2).

 

Let's think:

 

·        “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7.11).

·        “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11.13).

 

A true father will want something bad for children? Therefore, you can believe:

 

 

·        “The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.” (Psalms 34.10).

 

The Eternal don’t give trush for their children. If you let Jesus take total leadership of your life (including of your finance), can submit whole to your husband, without fear (as it orders the Holy Scripture – 1Cor 14.34):

 

·        “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5.24).

·        “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” (Colossians 3.18).

 

After all, What God is this that would go to ordain us something bad for us? Fights, of course, always will there be (Matthew 7.24-27; John 16.33; 1Coríntios 2.12-15), but in all of them we are already more than conquerors (Romans 8.37) if we give place to Jesus act (through our confidence in Him and in His Word):

 

·        “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; and having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.” (2Corinthians 10.3-6).

 

May Jesus help us to trust in Him more and more and in all He has for us.

[Neighbor]

On 9/3/2016 at 3:06 PM, missmuffet said:

So how should a married couple handle their financial situations?

1. Should they have a joint account and everything they earn go into the same account?

2. Should they have separate accounts and what is his is his and what is hers is hers?

3. Who should pay the bills?

4. What if you have a spender and the other more frugal?

On of the biggest problems in a marriage is money.

Hmm, don't know  what is good, bad,  nor what works for others- as for me I was tarzan. I went out and killed meat,  and brought it back to the cave. Spouse prepared it and we ate. She did all the books of our marriage and that was fine with me. For 48 years I never had to look at my paycheck nor income sources at all.

When she became so ill she tried to encourage me to get involved. I didn't. She said I was going to be a mess.  I was. For five years it was a struggle each month to handle my finances. And I really didn't much care.

Now I have a new Bride. We are older though she is  over a decade younger than me. And we have had to organize like I never had to before. Yes antenuptial agreement and all that-  for both our sakes!

 I have my accounts, she has hers. I have my reserves, she has hers. BUT, there is one additional thing- She is my bride my responsibility and so all that is needed, desired , in our marriage  or for either of us is from my earnings, hers is not to be touched, for I want that security  for my bride. We both do the books together. A new experience for both of us.

I suspect the time of life for each couple makes for very different solutions to financial systems and problem solving.