Never Thought I'd Have an Affair

[Deez131]

So, to the original poster.... Has your husband ever stated that he would or wouldn't want to know? Did he encourage you to tell your previous husband?

Previous husband? I don't recall anything about a previous husband.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh my goodness! I'm sorry! I think I have my stories confused! I thought she said she was married then had an affair with her now husband and now she's in this situation. I think I'm thinking about another post. Please ignore that last comment!

[Deez131]

As for your question about someone being unstable. That would be a tough call. I mean, you always have to take someone seriously when they talk about suicide. If they were to just do it, I would be devastated. I think someone's stability needs to be taken into consideration when someone is going to break some life changing news to them. That's pretty much a loose/loose situation.

[Guest D Smith]

an older married couple were both in the hospital...the gentleman was near death's door...

His wife was ill, but was expected to recover...

The man called his son closer and told him that now as he was getting ready to face his maker, he wanted to tell his son something.

His son thought this would be the last conversation he might have with his dad, so he drew close, knowing that he would remember this moment forever.

The old father began, "I never told anyone this, but in 1968 I had an affair with your moms best friend. I don't want to go to the Lord with this unconfessed, so I am going to tell your mother today"

The son grew sick, the blood fell from his head....he bent over for a time...then he stood up and pleaded with his dad to spare his sickly mother the burden of this.

But the Father didn't wish to live a lie so,he would not heed his son's pleadings.

As Death began to take the old man, he sent for his wife to be at his side...

There with tears in both their eyes he held her hand...and in his last breaths he began to confess to her his secret.

the shock killed her.

a week later the son stood on the ground above his parents,,,crying and cursing...crying and cursing...

Edited April 5, 2005 by D Smith

[barnabas]

closing one eye as Dobson refffered, means to be forgiving and not look upon one's faults. NOT to keep secrets. Secrets are from the mouth. Eyes are for looking!

Suicide..... probably not. Anger....probably. Problems..definitely. Resolution..maybe.

What would happen if your husband finds out without you telling him? Now that would create a far bigger problem.

Not telling your husband is already a burden that you are carrying and you will continue with this guilt and burden until you have confessed your sin to the people who have been sinned against (your husband).

By not doing anything you are not avioding the problem...you are bottling up an explosive problem that is having a negative effect on you, your emotions, your spiritual life, and your relationship with your husband. By not doing anything you are doing something..and it is NEGATIVE!

[Can Do (Phil 4:13)]

an older married couple were both in the hospital...the gentleman was near death's door...

His wife was ill, but was expected to recover...

The man called his son closer and told him that now as he was getting ready to face his maker, he wanted to tell his son something.

His son thought this would be the last conversation he might have with his dad, so he drew close, knowing that he would remember this moment forever.

The old father began, "I never told anyone this, but in 1968 I had an affair with your moms best friend.

[Guest D Smith]

I disagree....

The idea of teaching a point via a story is a very usefull one.

[Gerioke]

Are supposed to confess our sins to specific people?

Maybe that is one area that the catholics have right.

Jesus says to confess ours

and he also says to resolve any conflicts with our brothers(and sisters)

If the spouse does not know about any wrong doing there would be no ill feelings.

And if the perpetrator confesses his/her sin to a third party the sin would then be confessed.

Am I wrong ?

D Smith can't be wrong all the time, can he?

[Guest D Smith]

 

Suicide..... probably not. Anger....probably. Problems..definitely.  Resolution..maybe.

Thats your view...Mine is different....my way is: Suicide...no, Anger...no, Problems....no,,,,,Resolution?....All I know is that in my way you have protected the innocent from harm...you have not dumped a massive problem into the marriage,,,,

What would happen if your husband finds out without you telling him? Now that would create a far bigger problem.

Far Bigger Problem?...your kidding right?....Bigger problem that telling your husband you have been sleeping around on him?.....

There is NO SUCH THING as a bigger problem than that.....BIGGER?....there is no way to get bigger than this,,,thinking not telling is going to make it"Bigger" is a huge error,,,

Thats like saying you smashed up the car and rolled it over in the ditch and on top of that, the car needed washing.

Trust me for a guy and a husband ,,, there is nothing bigger than this already.

Not telling your husband is already a burden that you are carrying and you will continue with this guilt and burden until you have confessed your sin to the people who have been sinned against (your husband). 

Yes, I have said that this is a burden that she will have to carry around her neck the rest of her life,,is the burden too heavy?,,well too bad, ,thats life,,,thats what happends when you cheat,,,,You must carry your load sister.

But don't try to ditch your burden by unloading this on to people that are innocent..

If you need to 'confess" then do so onto the Lord,,,Remember telling everyone in the world will not help if you don't take this to the Lord in the end anyway....so telling a bunch of people is pointless and can easily cause them huge harm..

Edited April 5, 2005 by D Smith

[Guest Bro David™]

Are supposed to confess our sins to specific people?

Maybe that is one area that the catholics have right.

Jesus says to confess ours

and he also says to resolve any conflicts with our brothers(and sisters)

If the spouse does not know about any wrong doing there would be no ill feelings.

And if the perpetrator confesses his/her sin to a third party the sin would then be confessed.

Am I wrong ?

D Smith can't be wrong all the time, can he?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ok let me get this straight, this is becoming slightly disturbing to hear.

Without getting into personal attacks, I would like to ask you a question.

You are actually asking if confessing to Jesus and confessing to a third party, presuming you mean friends, family or just another human being in general. Is the same ? , and that by doing so the crime is then forgiven. No longer is there a need to tell the truth to the person concerned. That the person who the crime was committed to need not know anything because that will be better for him/her.

Just asking if I read correctly.

With Love

David King

[Orr v'emet]

an older married couple were both in the hospital...the gentleman was near death's door...

His wife was ill, but was expected to recover...

The man called his son closer and told him that now as he was getting ready to face his maker, he wanted to tell his son something.

His son thought this would be the last conversation he might have with his dad, so he drew close, knowing that he would remember this moment forever.

The old father began, "I never told anyone this, but in 1968 I had an affair with your moms best friend.  I don't want to go to the Lord with this unconfessed, so I am going to tell your mother today"

The son grew sick, the blood fell from his head....he bent over for a time...then he stood up and pleaded with his dad to spare his sickly mother the burden of this.

But the Father didn't wish to live a lie so,he would not heed his son's pleadings.

As Death began to take the old man, he sent for his wife to be at his side...

There with tears in both their eyes he held her hand...and in his last breaths he began to confess to her his secret.

the shock killed her.

a week later the son stood on the ground above his parents,,,crying and cursing...crying and cursing...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm beginning to think you are just making this stuff up. I mean, come on! Do you believe in God? Do you believe the Bible? Are you passing off this advice as coming from a "biblical" perspective? Clearly not since it is in total disagreement with the word of God. God doesn't want his children to stack sin on top of sin. That's what would happen here should the OP play cover up on top of adultery. Why do some here think their God isn't big enough to carry them through a situation like this?