I can't forgive myself for hurting a friend

[Amore_Amibo]

Hi guys.

I've been having a hard time forgiving myself for hurting a very close friend of mine recently. To make a long story short, at my Bible study group, we had a Game Night event about two weeks ago. I was mad at her and upset about something, so I sat on the couch the entire time not wanting to participate. She was playing games with the other Group members, and I would completely ignore her when she asked me to join. I also left the party early because I didn't want to participate.

Through most of last week, this friend and I texted each other back and forth about what happened. During texting, she told me that she was very hurt by my attitude at the party, and that she found it hard not to take it personally when I ignored her. However, because we were just texting each other, I didn't get a clear understanding of how much I had really hurt her. After all, you can only convey so much emotion through text. However, when I met with her in person a few days ago so that we could go to Bible study together, I finally saw just how wrong my actions were.

She wasn't merely "bothered" by my actions like I had assumed that entire time we were texting. No. I saw that she was truly, truly hurt by what I did. She said she had forgiven me, but that she wasn't over it, and was still very hurt from when I ignored her. I feel like an absolutely terrible friend, and am having a very hard time forgiving myself. I want to move forward, and am tired of beating myself up over this. However, she's a very close friend of mine, and it hurts me to see her hurting like this.

Edited August 7, 2017 by Amore_Amibo

[ladypeartree]

ok so you had a moody night and were not the best friend BUT you have apologised and now it is up to your friend to accept that we all have bad days and let it go ...what sort of friend doesn't understand that ????   Sounds as if there is some one sidedness going on here and time to let it go ( and maybe not go out if you are having that bad a night next time ) I assume you forgave whatever you were mad at your friend for so your friend needs to do the same Stop beating yourself up life happens apologise deal with it get on with life ... it is much too short to hold grudges and so far from being Christian attitude  so let go of the anger and the hurt xxxx

[Amore_Amibo]

7 hours ago, ladypeartree said:

ok so you had a moody night and were not the best friend BUT you have apologised and now it is up to your friend to accept that we all have bad days and let it go ...what sort of friend doesn't understand that ????   Sounds as if there is some one sidedness going on here and time to let it go ( and maybe not go out if you are having that bad a night next time ) I assume you forgave whatever you were mad at your friend for so your friend needs to do the same Stop beating yourself up life happens apologise deal with it get on with life ... it is much too short to hold grudges and so far from being Christian attitude  so let go of the anger and the hurt xxxx

There were some things I left out in my original post, such as why I was having a bad night in the first place. Also, she wasn't necessarily hurt because I was having a bad night and didn't want to play. There's definitely a lot more to it than that. Something had happened between us earlier that night, which is what led to my bad attitude on the couch.

I definitely get what you're saying, though. Regardless of whatever happened that night, and whatever the reasons why both of us were upset with each other, life's way too short to hold onto this kind of stuff. Both of just need to move forward and let go of any anger/frustration/grudges we have. The next time I see her this week, I'm just going to have a heart to heart talk with her, and move forward once and for all.

Edited August 7, 2017 by Amore_Amibo

[Sunshine 5]

Sounds like things were said or done that cannot be undone.  True friendships are hard to come by but they should also be hard to break.  All anyone can really do is just make a heartfelt apology and mean it.  Do not add the word "but" and try to pass your actions back on to her.  That is not apologizing.  Then ask the LORD to help you and your friend work through this and hopefully your friendship will be stronger.  If she can't or won't get past this then you have to forgive yourself and move on also.  Maybe as time passes things will change.

[NOONE7]

On 8/7/2017 at 5:56 AM, Amore_Amibo said:

Hi guys.

I've been having a hard time forgiving myself for hurting a very close friend of mine recently. To make a long story short, at my Bible study group, we had a Game Night event about two weeks ago. I was mad at her and upset about something, so I sat on the couch the entire time not wanting to participate. She was playing games with the other Group members, and I would completely ignore her when she asked me to join. I also left the party early because I didn't want to participate.

Through most of last week, this friend and I texted each other back and forth about what happened. During texting, she told me that she was very hurt by my attitude at the party, and that she found it hard not to take it personally when I ignored her. However, because we were just texting each other, I didn't get a clear understanding of how much I had really hurt her. After all, you can only convey so much emotion through text. However, when I met with her in person a few days ago so that we could go to Bible study together, I finally saw just how wrong my actions were.

She wasn't merely "bothered" by my actions like I had assumed that entire time we were texting. No. I saw that she was truly, truly hurt by what I did. She said she had forgiven me, but that she wasn't over it, and was still very hurt from when I ignored her. I feel like an absolutely terrible friend, and am having a very hard time forgiving myself. I want to move forward, and am tired of beating myself up over this. However, she's a very close friend of mine, and it hurts me to see her hurting like this.

Sorry you are going through this and many can relate on this. As great advice in this thread has already been stated.  Say sorry without excuse and be there for this person.   It is hard I know at times, but with God all things are possible.  I will pray for you and this person!

[enoob57]

The responsibility of a Christian is not only not to offend but not be offendable....