Barna Study - Divorce Rate HIGHER with Christians vs Aheists

[DesertSW]

Barna study shows that the Christian divorce rate is HIGHER than atheists and non-believers. Sitting at around 32%-33%. While Atheists are around 30%

Barna Divorce Study (click here for Barna link)

Being a victim of a divorce just 1 years ago myself. I was shocked and dismayed when my Christian wife left me with no warning and divorced me with no attempt to seek Christian counseling. Without side tracking this post, there was no abuse, no infidelity, nothing that would justify a divorce. Four professional Christian counselors came to this conclusion. She gave no reason except she wanted to start over and was happier living in another state. I posted more on my personal divorce in the "Struggling" forum, if you want to read more about it, please post there.

So getting back to this topic. Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? '

Edited September 4, 2017 by DesertSW

[Wayne222]

Your wife did not take the word of God to heart. Except for sexually immorality you cannot divorce.  There might be other reasons like wife beating and cruelty. But only adultery can someone get remarried under the Lord. God will not honor a remarried couple otherwise. But in this time we live in its hard to find a true mate. I think the media has sold a lifestyle that's says do what you like if it makes you happy.

[Guest shiloh357]

50 minutes ago, DesertSW said:

Barna study shows that the Christian divorce rate is HIGHER than atheists and non-believers. Sitting at around 32%-33%. While Atheists are around 30%

It depends on how they define who a "Christian" is.

[GandalfTheWise]

36 minutes ago, DesertSW said:

Barna study shows that the Christian divorce rate is HIGHER than atheists and non-believers. Sitting at around 32%-33%. While Atheists are around 30%

Barna Divorce Study (click here for Barna link)

Being a victim of a divorce just 1 years ago myself. I was shocked and dismayed when my Christian wife left me with no warning and divorced me with no attempt to seek Christian counseling. Without side tracking this post, there was no abuse, no infidelity, nothing that would justify a divorce. Four professional Christian counselors came to this conclusion. She gave no reason except she wanted to start over and was happier living in another state. I posted more on my personal divorce in the "Struggling" forum, if you want to read more about it, please post there.

So getting back to this topic. Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? '

I've been an analyst professionally so I've conducted surveys and analyzed numbers before.  One challenge in this study is that no distinction is made about whether divorces occur before or after conversion.  The study also alludes to numbers showing atheists are more likely to cohabit and not marry which means that it is difficult to directly compare the numbers.  Anecdotally, I think the divorce numbers among serious evangelicals are probably lower than indicated, but still way too high.

A few months ago, we had a small reunion in another state at our old church.  It was a small church, and after about 25 years, about half a dozen couples got together for the first time we'd seen each other in ages.  As the men were sitting at the table, I realized that we had 6 of us there that had each been married for over 30 years, had kept regular jobs, raised our families, and to put it bluntly, just hung in there doing the right thing for decades.  Frankly, I felt very good to be included in such a group of Godly men.  In hindsight, as we caught up on news and other people, there were very few divorces over the past 25 years among our old circles of friends.  There were a couple people who'd gotten caught up in similar situations to what the OP describes of one partner just leaving, but those seemed to be the exceptions.

It's easy to point the finger at individuals and simply say it's sin.  But, as a deeper question, the marriages that ended in divorce really didn't seem any different than those of us still together.  Going back 25 years ago, I'd have never guessed which ones would have ended in divorce.  These weren't people that were on the fringes of church.  From what I could tell, someone didn't wake up one morning and suddenly decide to leave.  This was something that had taken root and started growing over time.  I wonder what could have been done earlier to help prevent these things.

The question I have is how do we as Christians help support each other to keep our marriages strong and healthy?  I'm convinced God's plan and desire is for strong healthy marriages and not just merely avoiding divorce.

 

[Neighbor]

Hi, 

My own conclusions or thoughts to date, reduce to a single question, with all the condemnation from Christians posting their opinion that one cannot divorce nor be unfaithful, complete with quoting the dire consequences, what do they do with the following? 

 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

Edited September 4, 2017 by Neighbor

[Neighbor]

I will also give my own answer:

With precept qualifications;

One, There are no big sins and little sins. All sin makes every person  unholy and unacceptable to God, that is God the Father God the son and God the Holy Spirit the triune God.

 

Two, Every person sins, every person is born of sin and is unholy from the beginning.

Mankind tries to parse sin. God does not. God cannot abide any sin whatsoever. Sin makes man less than perfect, and perfection is God's standard from which God cannot fall, not tolerate in His creation.

God alone restores fallen mankind in the manner He alone sets for those alone that  He has foreknown and predestined to be saved from the destruction He decrees as sovereign over His creation. When my savior Jesus went to the cross to take on to Himself the punishment due  sin in those given Him by His Father He took on all the sins of those to be saved.

All the sins, not some, not only sins of the past, not just sins of pre-awareness and indwelling by the Holy Spirit; but instead all sins, including sins of the heart that are thought  only, as well as those acted out that give birth to many sorts of disgraces condemn creation.

Mankind is despicable, of no merit whatsoever, without the restoration by Jesus the reconciler, and without the work of the Holy Spirit making specific call to repentance to those that  will accept Jesus as Lord, God, and savior, and without the mercy and grace that comes from God the Father having  given His son, that many may be saved of this fallen creation.

 

Pontificating on the relative degree of sin in others and self is an exercise without much good end. For God the Father does not set standards that are compromises. His wrath is absolute upon sin. Instead, He has paid in full the cost of sin in those He has given to His Son. He plus, His Son doing His will, and through the agency of the Holy Spirit, has restored as He wills. He will complete restoration as and when He wills. Our choice, our only choice is to do as commanded in sharing the gospel of Jesus once the Holy Spirit indwells each of us. God is sovereign, He is sovereign over all  all matters of His creation. He is not a doting uncle. He is not a helper of created beings self determination to decide right from wrong. He is God. God is sovereign, period. No person reaches his standard, except perhaps for two, that He took away, but even then that was of His doing not of the created beings authority over Him.

So I praise God, as I try to not add to the list of my sins; but I know that I  do add to them every single day, and maybe every hour, and maybe every minute, and maybe every seven seconds as one "study" concluded about men in particular.

Do I sin all the more that grace may abound? No! I do know I am lost, except that my Lord has me covered in His own shed blood, to my shame He has borne my shame unlimited it seems.

 

To get lost within the study of one sin, is to fail to see the forest of sins, for looking at the one tree being stared upon.

Praise God his mercy is awesome, way beyond the capacity of mercy  within His created beings.

Edited September 4, 2017 by Neighbor

[DesertSW]

12 hours ago, Wayne222 said:

Your wife did not take the word of God to heart. Except for sexually immorality you cannot divorce.  There might be other reasons like wife beating and cruelty. But only adultery can someone get remarried under the Lord. God will not honor a remarried couple otherwise.

 

Exactly correct. She knew what she was doing was NOT Biblically accurate and it was NOT God's Will but she did it anyway. That is why she avoided Christian counseling because they would have told her the same thing. Four professional Christian counselors stated that what she was doing had no basis in God's Word and she didn't want to even hear what they had to say.

For her, as long as her parents OK'd the divorce, she was OK with doing it. Of course her parents were OK with whatever she wanted to do so she got the green light and filed for divorce.

 

[DesertSW]

On 9/3/2017 at 10:28 PM, GandalfTheWise said:

But, as a deeper question, the marriages that ended in divorce really didn't seem any different than those of us still together.  Going back 25 years ago, I'd have never guessed which ones would have ended in divorce. 

Some couples have gone through hell and back and remain married. These trials make their marriage stronger and while going through the difficult times was miserable, they stuck it out and remained married.

Other couples end marriages with little or no just cause. It's easier to cut and run than it is to stay and work it out. Sadly, some Christians are guilty of leaving without just cause and they divorce without any attempt to reconcile through Godly counseling and healing.

In my case, my wife didn't even want to talk to a Christian counselor. She made absolutely no attempt. Shoot, she even refused to watch a 4 minute video from Casting Crowns called Broken Together. She told me she didn't have the time to watch the video. Even when it was clearly stated that a Christian couple were moved by the Holy Spirit to have her and me watch the video. Her hardness of heart was quite apparent.

 

 

 

 

 

[bryan]

Looking at the original questions:  Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? 

My church did a pretty serious series of classes on what the bible said regarding divorce.  The result?  Divorce was okay based on scripture for more than just infidelity or death.  Abuse of spouse or child and abandonment were reason for divorce.   The rules for when a divorced spouse were also clear based on scripture.

The result of the series of classes?  Church members separated into three groups based on what they thought was allowed and wasn't.  The scripture from the bible didn't matter.  Verifying meaning and interpretation going back to root languages in the bible didn't matter.  Verifying scripture with other scripture didn't matter.  All that mattered was what members felt was right in their view.

The point?  Christians and churches create their own interpretation of what's right and wrong regarding divorce, abuse, and marriage.  They quote scripture to support their views and only rarely are willing to listen and study to see if their beliefs are true based on the bible.  It's no wonder divorces are higher among Christians when so many are dead sure they are right and others are wrong.

 

[Wayne222]

Maybe christian breakup because there not willing to forgive faults like non Christians. They are looking at there partners like you are not perfect enough.