Guest Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Just now, Denadii said: Why? His thyroid is under control. Are you suggesting a lobotomy? LOL For some men ,that may imply improvement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denadii Posted September 9, 2017 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 503 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/03/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/20/1948 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) 1 minute ago, Blueyedjewel said: For some men ,that may imply improvement Oh! Girl. You're so wise. LOL How is your day going? Blessed I hope. Edited September 9, 2017 by Denadii Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 So I read somewhere where you said he may had had a high fever ....now you say throid under control. It sounds like the man may be you. I dont know that but just guessing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denadii Posted September 9, 2017 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 503 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 120 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/03/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/20/1948 Author Share Posted September 9, 2017 8 minutes ago, The_Patriot2017 said: oh, trust me ive been sick before. and the only time where I can say i did things that I dont remember is when they put me under to pull 13 teeth. literally, put me under. but ive been way sick before, and im sorry but short of that, i think id remember physically hurting someone. I'm sorry about that. If I hurt someone I don't know that I could live with myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 9, 2017 Share Posted September 9, 2017 Since I dont know the woman or the history of the marriage or the man for that matter; I couldnt give a serious reply. Im not going to say she is carrying a grudge as some have said because I dont know the circumstances. Im not going to say the man is right because I dont know if he loves his wife as Christ loves the church or if he LORDS over the wife like a tyrant. If he is a tyrant then I can see why she kept it to herself out of fear! I just dont know. It is impossible for any of us to give an educated answer quite frankly without assuming. I would suggest christian counseling either way though. Let the LORD work on the two hearts to learn to be open with each other so that 25 yrs doesnt go by again before someone airs their grievances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heleadethme Posted September 9, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 15 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,371 Content Per Day: 1.36 Reputation: 3,268 Days Won: 5 Joined: 07/10/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted September 9, 2017 On 9/7/2017 at 10:29 PM, Denadii said: That was suggested. The man asks though. "How do I discuss something I know nothing about?" I have to admit...It does sound like a one way discussion No, not really......because his wife was hurt, it affected her......that is the elephant still in the room apparently that needs to be acknowledged and discussed.....maybe that's all she really needs, for him to acknowledge her feelings and show some sympathy.....restore her sense that he really does care about her. It must have shocked her that the one she as a wife TRUSTED to protect her was the one who essentially attacked her. She is a woman and a wife, not "one of the guys". So it did affect her, she is still carrying the hurt, and so that is something that needs to be discussed. Even though he doesn't remember, he should acknowledge his wrong and apologize. If someone, say, killed a person when they were sleepwalking.........wouldn't they be appalled at themselves and feel remorse for that fact, that they were responsible for someone's death, once they were told what they did...even though they can't remember it......I mean, there lies the dead body and here are the grieving relatives and maybe the law is knocking at the door. SOMEbody did somebody wrong, and it wasn't the Easter Bunny. Honestly, it sounds like hubby is trying to stand on a technicality. But God holds us accountable for all things done in the body, whether we remember them or not, and whether they were inadvertent or not........we find that in the Law. Don't know for sure but the whole thing is starting to look like it might be a little power struggle if you ask me and maybe they both have some 'splaining to do, maybe there is some childishness on both sides. And if nobody is willing to bend, then there that elephant will remain. And just my opinion in general I believe that well meaning friends should try not take sides in marriage disputes, it can sometimes add fuel to the fire, but just be supportive in a neutral way and try to bring God's counsel to bear. He is far wiser than we are and only He knows the two sides of any story, and what the dynamics really are in other people's marriages. And if any in this saga are followers of the Lord Jesus/Yeshua, they need to remember that we are called to the high way and learn to rise above the pettiness of life. Anyway, just some thoughts.....maybe helpful, maybe not. For sure God's word is helpful though, all the time, so to that we look. Humble ourselves, kind to one another, put others before ourselves, forgive, etc. And what it means to be priest in the home and head of the family.....hmm, think it means to lead by example in all those things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heleadethme Posted September 9, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 15 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,371 Content Per Day: 1.36 Reputation: 3,268 Days Won: 5 Joined: 07/10/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted September 9, 2017 On 9/7/2017 at 9:31 PM, Denadii said: Ladies. Here's one for you. No mens answers please. The Event. An event that supposedly happened between twenty and twenty five years ago. Unremembered by the husband, but remembered by the wife. Hubby was sick and supposedly attacked his wife, slamming her to one side as he roared out of the house. She got bruised, but he has no memory of the event.... The Question. How is a person supposed to repent of an event he does not even remember? If I did that, I'm sorry? Well that won't work. I don't remember doing that but I'm sorry anyway? No. Treat her like the queen she is...Yeah! But the supposed event still gets in the way because you never apologized for it or repented of it. I wonder how many men are in the doghouse for such things. Once he winds up in the doghouse for a not remembered event, there is no way out. What do you say? I've seen this situation twice now, in the last couple years. Question: Why is this just a "supposed" event.......does the husband not believe the wife? Sounds like there might be problems in the marriage apart from this incident. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheya joie Posted September 10, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 7 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,054 Content Per Day: 0.29 Reputation: 351 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/15/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 10, 2017 Any apology that includes the phrase 'I'm sorry if I hurt you' is just going to fan the flames. As in: 'If? What do you mean, 'if' you hurt me? You smacked me into a wall, mister!' Etc, etc, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Dawn Posted September 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 277 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 270 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/23/1967 Share Posted September 10, 2017 (edited) Earlier in this thread Sleep Apnea was brought up a a possible cause for the husband's lack of memory. No, this is not how apnea works. With sleep apnea you wake up multiple times during sleep because you literally stop breathing. This of course results on lack of sound sleep and is also hard on your heart and brain. It doesn't cause someone to rush....anywhere. Quite the opposite, it makes one feel tired and sluggish. Without details, my first thought is that the husband was very drunk and had blacked out. I was married to an alcoholic and went through this many times. I would be angry and hurt the next morning and he would wake up cheerful with no real recollection of the previous night. When told what had happened, he would argue and tell me that never happened?!?! Since he didn't remember trapping me in a room while I cried and begged him to let me out...then I must've made it all up. And since he would never call me <insert horrible name> while sober, he would never do it while drunk. How could a man who drank an entire 5th of whiskey the evening before and passed out on the couch try to tell me what happened when he was in a drunken stupor? At times I would get a half-hearted apology...something like, "if that happened (but I don't think it did) I'm sorry." So not only did he pass me off as a liar and drama queen, he downplayed his addiction and told me I don't really matter.I got really tired of empty apologies and promises. Perhaps the husband described in this thread had some sort of legitimate illness that caused him to black out. Even if that were the case, he needs to show his wife that repairing her is the main thing of importance. He needs to choose words that show how concerned he is that she is damaged...he needs to make her wellness the focus, not his possible actions. It needs to be about putting her back together...and if admitting something happened will help her, who cares whether or not he remembers it? Just fix her so you can both be much happier. Edited September 10, 2017 by D-Dawn grammar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinitin Posted September 10, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,366 Content Per Day: 0.78 Reputation: 2,150 Days Won: 9 Joined: 01/10/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted September 10, 2017 On 9/7/2017 at 8:31 PM, Denadii said: Ladies. Here's one for you. No mens answers please. The Event. An event that supposedly happened between twenty and twenty five years ago. Unremembered by the husband, but remembered by the wife. Hubby was sick and supposedly attacked his wife, slamming her to one side as he roared out of the house. She got bruised, but he has no memory of the event.... The Question. How is a person supposed to repent of an event he does not even remember? If I did that, I'm sorry? Well that won't work. I don't remember doing that but I'm sorry anyway? No. Treat her like the queen she is...Yeah! But the supposed event still gets in the way because you never apologized for it or repented of it. I wonder how many men are in the doghouse for such things. Once he winds up in the doghouse for a not remembered event, there is no way out. What do you say? I've seen this situation twice now, in the last couple years. A responsible person that cared about his wife would probably see a doctor and get checked. Rage and memory loss is a symptom of several possibly serious conditions. ptsd, deppression, anxiety, child abuse, intoxication, drug induced rage and amnesia. Not something fever or routine illnes would cause. If someonr has no control or no memory of the assult then "sorry, i dont remember is a cop out" and probably denial of a much larger underlying issue. There is probably a whole lot more to the 25 situation then one slam. This totally sounds like they need couceling. It probably is not 25 years of unforgiveness it sounds more like 25 years of not taking resonsibily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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