Bringing up your past to a boyfriend/girlfriend

[missmuffet]

I have seen this in several posts. A male especially demands to know his girlfriends past. What position should the woman take when a man demands to know who you were in the past or he will go out the door? This can be the case as well with the woman wanting to know a man's past but I don't see it that often.

I think there is some information about a person if you are in a serious relationship with them that is important information.

1. If the person has a past of any jail time or crime.

2. Any STD's

3. Any addictions

Do you think demanding to know every man or woman that person has ever kissed or had a relationship with is necessary? Would it tell you something about that person if they have had multiple intimate affairs? Do you think that a person demanding this information has revealed some work they still need to do in their life? possessive or jealousy?

 

 

 

[Guest]

18 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

I have seen this in several posts. A male especially demands to know his girlfriends past. What position should the woman take when a man demands to know who you were in the past or he will go out the door?

Don't let the door hit you in the caboose on the way out!

[missmuffet]

8 minutes ago, Rick_Parker said:

Don't let the door hit you in the caboose on the way out!

Even if there is a STD involved? There could be medical complications involved. A person would have to be very committed to get that STD.

[missmuffet]

46 minutes ago, Yowm said:

How can one trust another if they don't know the other, and how can they know the other unless they ask about the other?

These are the boundaries that a couple need to discuss when the relationship first starts to become serious.

[MyLordsServant]

6 hours ago, missmuffet said:

I have seen this in several posts. A male especially demands to know his girlfriends past. What position should the woman take when a man demands to know who you were in the past or he will go out the door? This can be the case as well with the woman wanting to know a man's past but I don't see it that often.

I think there is some information about a person if you are in a serious relationship with them that is important information.

1. If the person has a past of any jail time or crime.

2. Any STD's

3. Any addictions

Do you think demanding to know every man or woman that person has ever kissed or had a relationship with is necessary? Would it tell you something about that person if they have had multiple intimate affairs? Do you think that a person demanding this information has revealed some work they still need to do in their life? possessive or jealousy?

 

 

 

Number 2 I think is most important. That should be something the person reveals regardless of being asked.

In regards to being demanded, you're at liberty to keep those things secret. Some girls are ashamed of their past, but this is an individual issue, and hard to answer without being vague.

The intimacy and affairs question could be a good indicator of your future relationship with the person. If your partner has as history of multiple affairs, obviously there's a higher chance of it happening again. 

Men or women usually ask, because the answers can be indicators to greater things.

Knowing the intimate part of a girls relationship, can be off putting to a lot of men. Guys usually do not want a defiled wife. This goes both ways, but from my experience, females mostly care about your love past. Not necessarily intimacy.

As for possessiveness, that's more likely for the female. Jealously more likely for the male. However that's a broad question requiring a narrow answer.

 

 

[missmuffet]

21 minutes ago, AscendedMasters333 said:

Number 2 I think is most important. That should be something the person reveals regardless of being asked.

In regards to being demanded, you're at liberty to keep those things secret. Some girls are ashamed of their past, but this is an individual issue, and hard to answer without being vague.

The intimacy and affairs question could be a good indicator of your future relationship with the person. If your partner has as history of multiple affairs, obviously there's a higher chance of it happening again. 

Men or women usually ask, because the answers can be indicators to greater things.

Knowing the intimate part of a girls relationship, can be off putting to a lot of men. Guys usually do not want a defiled wife. This goes both ways, but from my experience, females mostly care about your love past. Not necessarily intimacy.

As for possessiveness, that's more likely for the female. Jealously more likely for the male. However that's a broad question requiring a narrow answer.

 

 

Don't you think if a man or woman has been married 5 times that would be a red flag?

Men can be just as possessive and have jealous issues as a woman.

[MyLordsServant]

3 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

Don't you think if a man or woman has been married 5 times that would be a red flag?

Men can be just as possessive and have jealous issues as a woman.

Yep. Unless you knew they truly converted and found Jesus

[Neighbor]

3 hours ago, Yowm said:

How can one trust another if they don't know the other, and how can they know the other unless they ask about the other?

Pray together, pray often, pray together, pray often, pray together pray often. Read the Bible, study the Bible. Think about the Bible. Pray for understanding of the Bible. Talk with an elder pastor qualified to counsel prospective marriage partners, and if young enough to have need of it, spend six months in premarital counseling including how to make financial decisions, interfamily relationships, sexual relations, the whole gamit.

If you are near 74 years old skip all of the above. Just ask God; hey is this the one? Should I marry at all? When He answers with, "Have you both signed the antenuptual agreement?"  go through  that process. For if the relationship survives that one you both are golden. Amen? Amen brothers and sisters.

[missmuffet]

2 minutes ago, AscendedMasters333 said:

Yep. Unless you knew they truly converted and found Jesus

And that can be deceiving and they can be a darn good counterfeit in order to hook a Christian. You really have to have your detective hat on.

[Neighbor]

 About the only  unmarried person I'd consider as having good marital advice  to offer is Paul, for his is inspired of God.