Choosing our Words

[Annette]

Twice this week,  on different occasions,  I was brought back to Acts 17:23 For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, To The Unknown God. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you.

What has stood out to me is how Paul chose his words carefully to match his audience. 

Having said that, I was reminded to be aware of who I am speaking to and to be aware of what I say. 

I know that many of us get to speak with so many different people.  I wondered if you have any tips you use when talking to others. Or would be willing to share tips others have used. 

Look forward to hearing your responses. 

God bless

 

[john1]

3 hours ago, Annette said:

I wondered if you have any tips you use when talking to others.

If people know your a Christian their watching you, to see what you do.

[Neighbor]

Talk less, listen more. 

Don't talk "Christian Speak"- no one is impressed by it, and few understand it. Those that do are boring as all get out.

Pray as naturally at a restaurant table as as at home giving thanks to God in the name of our Lord Jesus, and then  just enjoy people of all walks of life as they each enter into one's own.

Smile too. Total strangers love a smile. They can hardly not smile in response.

BTW- I'm almost always laughing on the inside, hey it's all funny, least in a Shakespearian manner, ironic, comic turnabouts. And through it all God is sovereign.

. .

. .

. .

. .

Besides it's all going to burn.

 

 

 

 

Edited August 28, 2018 by Neighbor

[GandalfTheWise]

5 hours ago, Annette said:

Twice this week,  on different occasions,  I was brought back to Acts 17:23 For as I passed by, and beheld your devotions, I found an altar with this inscription, To The Unknown God. Whom therefore ye ignorantly worship, him declare I unto you. What has stood out to me is how Paul chose his words carefully to match his audience. 

Having said that, I was reminded to be aware of who I am speaking to and to be aware of what I say.  I know that many of us get to speak with so many different people.  I wondered if you have any tips you use when talking to others. Or would be willing to share tips others have used. 

Look forward to hearing your responses. 

God bless

 

Great question.

With regard to communication with individuals, here are the things I try to keep in mind.

Keeping them at ease and calm.   Unnecessary offense does nothing except make people angry, put up walls, and make it harder for them to listen.  When they are hurt, distracted, insulted, or angry, it is simply harder to listen to something new.   It's a reasonably well established physiological fact that increased stress kicks up the fight or flight response and reduces our rationality.   The reality today is even the most innocently intended statement can cause offense in some people which results in walls and barriers going up.   My observation is that this is much less likely to occur when we have a genuine love and interest in an individual and are willing to talk and listen,  ask questions, and build a relationship.  It's hard at times, but I take the strategic tack of choosing which battles I want to fight and not just taking the first ones to show up.  I often sidestep potential battles because I want to talk with them seriously in a state of mind where they will listen and consider what I say.

Figuring out what it is that they need to hear from God.   Most people are more than willing to talk about themselves.  I recall a story (but cannot remember names or circumstances) where someone was asked why this one person was in so much demand for audiences and meetings when there were many other people who much more talented and knowledgeable.  The response was that most people make you feel like they are the smartest person in the room; this person makes you feel like you are the smartest person in the room.  When we let other people do much speaking, we learn about them, and often this is what the Holy Spirit can use to prompt us to respond to.  It's not about overwhelming them with our knowledge or making sure to confront their every error; it's about finding out that thing they need to hear from God that day.  It's way too easy to get sidetracked away from the this main point and onto a plethora of theological, social, or political topics.   What specific thing does God want us to say to them?  God knows what they need to hear from us.

Different cultures and upbringing result in us having different concepts we use to process the world around us.  It's not just a matter of using the same nominal language, but one must use the same cultural language in order to be understood.  This does not mean agreeing with it; but rather understanding it so as to be able to communicate in terms they can understand.  Some people can see the world radically different than we do and we need to take that into account.  Even Christians with different backgrounds and upbringing can see the world very differently from each other.  Often people use the same words but mean something different by them.

Finally, we each need to be ourselves.  God made us unique individuals with different characteristics.  Some of us are quieter; some more outgoing.   Some of us are more direct and blunt; others have a more indirect communication style.  There is no single "right" way to do it.  There is the way we are best at it that God created us for.  Some Christians get caught into a guilt trap where they think they need to do things just like someone else does.  There are some people who are completely comfortable walking up to strangers and saying anything.  There are some people who can sit and listen to someone for ages.  I once got suckered in by someone teaching evangelism who made the comment, wherever Paul went, there was either a riot or a revival, if you don't get a reaction you're not doing it right.  In hindsight, the guy had no clue what he was talking about.  He was basically teaching people to uncomfortably push until something snapped with no room for doing anything else.  I know a few people who are comfortable being like that, but the majority of us are not.  We need to learn our strengths for interacting with people and use them.

[Neighbor]

14 hours ago, Yowm said:

I really didn't read about Paul listening all that much. He had the truth,  he  was commissioned to preach it.
 

Was it not listening a lesson taught to Saul by God on a road  to Damascus?

And did Paul not teach to suffer the demands of those not yet as enlightened regarding the things of the Law in diet, doing so in quiet in peace and submission for the sake of a brother? Did he not describe walking an etra mile with another's load a soldier's i order to share in deed in addition to word the gospel? And to Timothy did he not teach him to be soft/gentle with the older men yet bold in the Gospel?

 

Just thinking through that one- Yes I think Paul did more than preach it.He timed it, He planned, He was brilliant, and ever learning in his confinements. He had hours upon hours of discomfort on shore and on sea to be quiet, to dictate to write, to be led by the Holy Spirit. So yes I think he did use quiet, thinking  and meditating upon God, as well as prayer,  speaking and doing, all that he did  being done to God's Glory.  Paul became tired, hurt, suffering so, and wanted so deeply to be finished with the hard times to be absent from the suffering flesh. I don't think a talker suffers much, they are too busy uttering to be suffering and considering God. Surely no one considered God more than Paul.

Edited August 29, 2018 by Neighbor

[Neighbor]

Just want to share a thought about brevity of statements: Succinct is profound. To be succinct one must contemplate, hold a thought, think, pray, and place it carefully onto the conversation. That requires being ready by studying memorizing and understanding the word of God as enabled by the Holy Spirit. Not just a winging it as moved, but a real work of learning the word having the armor in place at the ready.

Some chatter on, and do have a few things that are great to share, but those words come riding upon their own enthusiasm, fin a multiplicity of words all in a river of rapids, the hearers ears having to ride amongst the rocks and foamy noise to comprehend any of it.

It is better I think, to wait, wait, and wait, till that river of words calms and the conversation stills. Then drop the word of God as given by the Holy Spirit for that very moment, doing that after having made preparation ahead of such time, in prayer and in reading the word for hours on end just, for the coming of a time the word needs to be at the ready, the armor put into use, the word spoken, and acted upon.

Resist the temptation to play hit the buzzer type games of conversation; hit the buzzer be first to speak, hit the buzzer be first again, and so on. Resist, resist, and resist; instead let the noise, the clattering symbols play out. Then hear the Spirit, hear the word that has been studied, thought about and prayed over. See it come to mind in the heart, and mind's eye, only then let it pass on to the tongue.

And if it is not the time, don't speak. Better to have the sense after that gee I could have said, and I should have said this and that too. Than it is to review and reach the conclusion; what on earth did I say that for? - boy was that over the top or what of me?

Some plant, some till, some reap of the harvest. it is not for one's own glory that  the word of God the Bible is shared in voice print and by action. It is for God's Glory that all is done in some orderly fashion.

 

 

Edited August 29, 2018 by Neighbor
Changed the opening sentence as somehow the words I typed changed I guess by spell check and I hadn't caught it. it was so confusing I wrote an entirely new senteence of introduction.

[GandalfTheWise]

@Neighbor   I rarely give a "worthy" thumbs up to a post.  That last one rated it in my opinion.  Sound spiritual common sense expressed simply and eloquently.