createdequal Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Catholic Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 8 hours ago, AngelInTraining93 said: Oh no, I knew they were in the wrong. It was primarily psychological abuse but there were a few moments of what was unmistakably physical abuse. My mother once grabbed my sister and I by our heads and slammed our foreheads together when we argued. I believe it was elementary school age for me when that occurred. No way that could be righteous, right? depends how hard, but doesn't sound good. Did you 2 get a headache? a parent should never do that, even if not hard.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
createdequal Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Catholic Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 9 hours ago, preciouspearl said: a question for anyone who knows if no one knows its ok: can one or two children be singled out ? what if a sibling says "we must have had different childhoods?" but they didnt really mean it cos they dont think it happened? I used to think I was the only one in the family who was abused (psychologically) but then later my sister complained to me about the same thing, about being singled out, not treated as fairly, etc.. I still say (and so does my sister) that I got the worst of it. I think there was jealousy involved, but at the time, I didn't have a flying clue in hell why I was so hated. I was actually abandoned (ignored entirely) but whenever (this one parent) DID interact w/ me, it was.. OMG! it was hideous.. lots of hate, impatience.. can't say anything good about me, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
createdequal Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Catholic Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 On 9/20/2019 at 9:26 AM, maryjayne said: I have yet to understand why unforgiveness is being assumed in talking about the continuing physical and emotional and mental results of abuse. God heals as and when He wills. At a pace He decides. well, we should wait on God for many things but (assuming I u/stand this post) forgiveness is not one of those things because we should immediately forgive others. Am I saying that is easy? I would be the last to say that, the very last. It took me a LONG time to forgive and I didn't even try to forgive until I had a "religious" experience and... got closer to Jesus and realized that I did have to do that. All that being said, we are human, so if you wait on God and TRY while you are waiting.. try to forgive.. well, I am sure He understands and will help, so I guess maybe that is what you meant? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelInTraining93 Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 44 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 239 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/27/2019 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/16/1993 Share Posted October 1, 2019 6 hours ago, createdequal said: depends how hard, but doesn't sound good. Did you 2 get a headache? a parent should never do that, even if not hard.. Oh my mother is 6' 2" and strong as a bull, she didn't have any trouble making sure I could feel it the rest of that day. Not something you really forget. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 953 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,579 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,055 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted October 1, 2019 On 9/20/2019 at 3:02 PM, maryjayne said: Your talk about forgiveness is irrelevant and out of place in the context of which we are speaking in this thread. Okay, if you speak for some "we" or if you speak for yourself. But forgiving is never irrelevant to me in any context, especially when involving affronts, injury, and trauma. For it does come down to instruction by God plus importantly to me by example of God to do so; least for me it does. Forgiveness is a healing theme throughout God's word, -as is the consequence of lack of forgiveness and excessive retaliation. If I do not forgive it will be to my own horror,- to appear before my Lord Jesus never having forgiven what I think of as slights and great offenses against me by others, only to find that I bear the consequence alone for they have confessed their own faults and been forgiven, while I have held on, retaliated in my mind and in my acts all my life, and that is the sole consequence, my being miserable at times over it, also perhaps my using it as my own excuse for doing likewise, plus finding that as I did not forgive I too am held responsible for similar sins that I commit. " For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” As to the concept that I am shaped by age 5, or as other psychologists suggest with a sense of personal authority in them by age 7 through 11, I find that flawed thinking as by those ages I was an atheist. I was not even awakened to God until my age 35. I am not captive to my childhood. I am freed to be a bond-servant of Jesus, and as such I stand my post as a soldier in the army of Christ. I have indeed called out in prayers my own forgiveness as well as sought out to be forgiven. I am not captive to my past, none of it. Though the old man may try to make me captive yet again, I reject carrying angst around my own neck. Others may do as they are led, but as for me I forgave long ago, as well and very importantly also asked to be forgiven. I was fully forgiven and covered too by the shed blood of Jesus that I may be seen as clean before God the Father. I am freed! And I do love it so. I love my creator all the more for the seeing of the power of God over sin and death when even a church full of individuals forgive the violent intruder that has come in and shot many to death and others into great suffering long term injury. I know they hurt horribly but in their forgiving they are allowed by God's will for them to overcome just as he overcame the first of many in and by His forgiveness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool of the Day Posted October 1, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 16 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 26 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/11/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted October 1, 2019 Neglect by mom. Sexually abused by stepdad and stepbrother (ironically unbeknownst to each other, at the time). PTSD as a result and I still don't handle stress well. Too many early years in flight or fight mode lead me to avoid confrontation at all cost. But God! Despite it all, His healing and provision are matchless. He strengthens in season. He knows before it even occurs to me and so paths are laid straight. He is an awesome God! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
createdequal Posted October 4, 2019 Group: Catholic Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 On 10/1/2019 at 2:25 AM, AngelInTraining93 said: Oh my mother is 6' 2" and strong as a bull, she didn't have any trouble making sure I could feel it the rest of that day. Not something you really forget. I am very sorry to hear this. My abuse was not physical but i have heard it is the worst kind of abuse just the same because I was totally ignored/abandoned. There is nothing like being sent the message from early childhood that you are so worthless you don't exist... shouldn't exist.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
createdequal Posted October 4, 2019 Group: Catholic Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 591 Content Per Day: 0.34 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/05/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 4, 2019 (edited) On 10/1/2019 at 4:40 AM, Cool of the Day said: Neglect by mom. Sexually abused by stepdad and stepbrother (ironically unbeknownst to each other, at the time). PTSD as a result and I still don't handle stress well. Too many early years in flight or fight mode lead me to avoid confrontation at all cost. But God! Despite it all, His healing and provision are matchless. He strengthens in season. He knows before it even occurs to me and so paths are laid straight. He is an awesome God! always so saddened by stories of child abuse.. A peron's personality is supposedly formed by age 5 and I believe that. There are aspects of my personality, my thought processes, etc.. that will always be with me, even though i have analyzed myself and tried to work on changing the bad programming. I have not fully succeeded, not altoghether failed... long story = Edited October 4, 2019 by createdequal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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