Problem with trust my husband

[Adorable80]

I'm mother of 2 kids. I am house wife and take care of kids  for 10 years and not have job  for 10 years because my husband won't let me get babysitter to watch my kids if I go to work.  I not want my kids be alone with him at home all day because I know he not watch kids and not know how to take care of my kids.  I tried to teach him how to cook and how to take good care of kids but He not listen to me.  So I not go to work for 10 years because I not trust him. He is really lazy not go to work and like stay home play with computer all day everyday.  I really want go to work to earn retirement good future  but I not trust my husband.  What should I do?? 

[Justin Adams]

Are you both believers?

[johnthebaptist]

14 hours ago, Adorable80 said:

I'm mother of 2 kids. I am house wife and take care of kids  for 10 years and not have job  for 10 years because my husband won't let me get babysitter to watch my kids if I go to work.  I not want my kids be alone with him at home all day because I know he not watch kids and not know how to take care of my kids.  I tried to teach him how to cook and how to take good care of kids but He not listen to me.  So I not go to work for 10 years because I not trust him. He is really lazy not go to work and like stay home play with computer all day everyday.  I really want go to work to earn retirement good future  but I not trust my husband.  What should I do?? 

I'm trying to figure out how you pay the bills if neither of you works. I'd get a job, leave him, and take the kids with you.

[Adorable80]

10 hours ago, DDisconnect said:

What does he do on the computer? Without revealing too much info, what is the source of income for the house if he is not working?

I'd be happy to try and offer advice, but I'd like to wait until the situation is more clear.

We live on welfare.   He play with games and Internet on his computer.  

[Adorable80]

16 hours ago, Justin Adams said:

Are you both believers?

Well yeah but I think he is 2 faces because he doing wrong with this situation.  

[enoob57]

In 'The Reason' which is God's absolute Word... we are told that due to sin God cursed this creation from it's original design and pronounced end to all that is here called death. In this curse God said this

Gen 3:17-19

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
KJV
In work itself God has blessed us to know that the hardship itself is of our own making... yet the motivation is

2 Thess 3:10

10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
KJV

1 Tim 5:8

8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
KJV

Because the system is abused -people are using welfare to avoid work and this goes against that which is for our good... until your husband sees this as wrong living- this problem will worsen. Prayer and example is the only means by which we are given by God to effect change in others. Prayed... Love, Steven

[Wesley L]

On 2/2/2020 at 7:01 AM, Adorable80 said:

I'm mother of 2 kids. I am house wife and take care of kids  for 10 years and not have job  for 10 years because my husband won't let me get babysitter to watch my kids if I go to work.  I not want my kids be alone with him at home all day because I know he not watch kids and not know how to take care of my kids.  I tried to teach him how to cook and how to take good care of kids but He not listen to me.  So I not go to work for 10 years because I not trust him. He is really lazy not go to work and like stay home play with computer all day everyday.  I really want go to work to earn retirement good future  but I not trust my husband.  What should I do?? 

I am assuming you both are christians.

All marriages have their problems. All relationships have their problems. All churches have their problems. 
What I have learned all these years being a non christian up to becoming a born again christian is that we have to focus on God. On the saving faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I am the truth, the way and the life, nobody comes to the Father except through Me.

Which means, in your life, your focus should be on Jesus. That you don't trust your husband, I can understand. But trust Jesus first.
That your husband is not perfect, I can understand. But trust Jesus first.
That you are not perfect. Trust Jesus first.

I would advice don't try to change your husband by yourself. Trust Jesus first and work on your own sanctification. If you follow Him, trust Him, eventually you will see the fruits in your family. Trust in Him means also perseverance.

Me and my wife had a normal marriage with its own problems. While I was focussing changing her bad habits and "preaching" to her about the word of God, I forgot how rotten I was myself. So, last years I have been focussing on the word of God and removing the log in my own eyes. In faith and in line with the fruits of the spirit (Galations 5:22-23)
Since my focus on God, relying of God rather than changing the situation by myself. I see the changes in our family. The peace that it brings. My wife is starting to realize it as well and she starts opening up to God. Bible verses she innitially resented, she started to understand. God works in miraculous ways, we just have to learn to trust in Jesus, in His Words.

Matthew 6:25-34 
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

Edited February 4, 2020 by Wesley L

[Wesley L]

On 2/2/2020 at 9:44 PM, johnthebaptist said:

I'm trying to figure out how you pay the bills if neither of you works. I'd get a job, leave him, and take the kids with you.

Is this biblical advice?

[Wesley L]

On 2/3/2020 at 6:07 AM, Adorable80 said:

We live on welfare.   He play with games and Internet on his computer.  

Before Christ saved me, I was a gaming addict as well.
When I became a born again Christian, I still was a gaming addict. But I felt conviction, I felt I had put too much time into gaming, more than in family. More time than I would put in listening to God's words. 
Luckily, I broke my foot. My 6months pregnant wife had to take care of me. And during that period I came to realisation of my idolatry towards gaming. How much of a burden I was to her because of my gaming addiction. Thank God for that!

Through conviction, came realisation, came repentance, came action. Cutting the things that caused me to sin. Today I can say, God freed e from one of my greater sins.

Pray to God that He will help you and your husband. Once again, trust in Him!

[johnthebaptist]

5 hours ago, Wesley L said:

Is this biblical advice?

According to the Apostle Paul, if you don't work, you don't eat.