Problem with trust my husband

[Wesley L]

6 hours ago, johnthebaptist said:

According to the Apostle Paul, if you don't work, you don't eat.

I actually meant the part where you said ... "leave him". 

Because, I am so glad that my wife did not leave me, years ago when I was neglecting her needs.
On the other hand... I might have misunderstood what you meant.

[johnthebaptist]

53 minutes ago, Wesley L said:

I actually meant the part where you said ... "leave him". 

Because, I am so glad that my wife did not leave me, years ago when I was neglecting her needs.
On the other hand... I might have misunderstood what you meant.

If someone is making you miserable, why not leave them? That, of course, doesn't give you permission to take up with someone else, unless your spouse is involved in unchaste behavior.

[Wesley L]

1 minute ago, johnthebaptist said:

If someone is making you miserable, why not leave them? That, of course, doesn't give you permission to take up with someone else, unless your spouse is involved in unchaste behavior.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 10:23 
23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

[johnthebaptist]

1 minute ago, Wesley L said:

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 10:23 
23 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

"But I say to you that every one who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Matthew 5:32 RSV

[LonerAndy]

On 2/2/2020 at 1:01 AM, Adorable80 said:

I'm mother of 2 kids. I am house wife and take care of kids  for 10 years and not have job  for 10 years because my husband won't let me get babysitter to watch my kids if I go to work.  I not want my kids be alone with him at home all day because I know he not watch kids and not know how to take care of my kids.  I tried to teach him how to cook and how to take good care of kids but He not listen to me.  So I not go to work for 10 years because I not trust him. He is really lazy not go to work and like stay home play with computer all day everyday.  I really want go to work to earn retirement good future  but I not trust my husband.  What should I do?? 

You need more help than I think you can find here.

I would talk to your parents, and his parents, I would talk to your church, and your pastor.  I would ask for wisdom, and pray that G-d will bring change, no matter how hard.

I would arrange to confront the husband.  I might even separate.   Separate does not mean divorce.  He is still your husband, but you need to make him face some consequences.   Unfortunately, letting this go on for 10 years, is not good.  It will be hard to make him see the problem, when he hasn't had to see the problem for 10 years.

You need help with other people.  His parents, his family, your parents, your church, your pastor.   Someone you can talk to about this problem.   Pray that G-d will lead you to someone who can give you wise counsel.

And be ready.  Because this had gone on for 10 years, this will not be easy to fix.  Be ready, that this will be hard.

[LonerAndy]

5 hours ago, Wesley L said:

I actually meant the part where you said ... "leave him". 

Because, I am so glad that my wife did not leave me, years ago when I was neglecting her needs.
On the other hand... I might have misunderstood what you meant.

yeah actually I think so.   There is a difference between "leave" and "divorce".   Leaving, is what you do when you still care.  It is a way to bring confrontation to a problem, to hopefully bring about change, and reconciliation.

So honestly, yes I think that some women should pack up the kids, and go live with their parents, to get a man to snap out of his problem, and improve.

I actually can think of about 3 examples of exactly that happening, and it turned a dying marriage around.

Christian Comedian Jeff Allen had that happen to him.  His wife packed up the kids, and left for her mothers house, and told him he was staying there.   It was him being alone, by himself in his apartment with his wife and kids gone, that he ended up hearing a sermon, and opening a Bible.

So yes, I totally accept the idea that sometimes the answer for a wife is.... Leave.

[missmuffet]

On 2/1/2020 at 10:01 PM, Adorable80 said:

I'm mother of 2 kids. I am house wife and take care of kids  for 10 years and not have job  for 10 years because my husband won't let me get babysitter to watch my kids if I go to work.  I not want my kids be alone with him at home all day because I know he not watch kids and not know how to take care of my kids.  I tried to teach him how to cook and how to take good care of kids but He not listen to me.  So I not go to work for 10 years because I not trust him. He is really lazy not go to work and like stay home play with computer all day everyday.  I really want go to work to earn retirement good future  but I not trust my husband.  What should I do?? 

Have you asked your husband why he does not work? What does he say?

[missmuffet]

17 hours ago, johnthebaptist said:

According to the Apostle Paul, if you don't work, you don't eat.

Many are sick and can not work. So they starve? I am talking about those who are severely ill and receive benefits so they do not starve. Yes, there are those who work the system and try to scam the government. God loves those who are genuinely disabled and He wants them to receive help. 

[johnthebaptist]

6 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Many are sick and can not work. So they starve? I am talking about those who are severely ill and receive benefits so they do not starve. Yes, there are those who work the system and try to scam the government. God loves those who are genuinely disabled and He wants them to receive help. 

I've got no problem helping those who can't help themselves. I'm sure Paul felt the same way.

[LonerAndy]

13 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Many are sick and can not work. So they starve? I am talking about those who are severely ill and receive benefits so they do not starve. Yes, there are those who work the system and try to scam the government. God loves those who are genuinely disabled and He wants them to receive help. 

Since we already know that Jesus healed crippled people, and Peter and other apostles did so as well, I think it is both safe and obvious that Paul here is not talking about people who are incapable of working.   That would contradict many other areas of the Bible.

Clearly we're talking about any human being that *CAN* work, and yet chooses not to.   For example, any person standing on a street corner, has the ability to work.  If you can stand on a street corner and greet people who give you cash, then you can also stand at Walmart, and greet people getting groceries.

If you have the ability to work, and you make the choice not to, then you should starve.

http://www.nickvujicic.com/

Nick was born without limbs.  No arms, or legs.  He was able to get a degree, and using a computer was engaged in real-estate sales.

I knew a guy who had his legs cut off from a train accident.  He got a degree in electrical engineering and was working as an engineer.

Tom Brokaw wrote a book, the greatest generation, where a man came back from WW2, blind from war.  He got a law degree, and conducted law over the phone.  Most of his clients never knew he was blind.

We should have the lowest number of people living off the government and handouts, of any civilization that has ever existed.