Real life situations that test our faith

[SavedByGrace1981]

Monday July 15 2019 started like any other workday.  I worked part time for a major car rental company, driving rental cars between branches or to the airport. I usually worked on a crew with 4 or 5 other gentlemen.  At 66 years old, I was actually one of the youngest.  Most of the others were in their 70s. All of us were retired and looked at this minimum pay job as just something to do to get us out of the house.

On this particular Monday 5 of us were in a minivan on the NY State thruway to pick up some cars in Jamestown and take them to the Buffalo airport. Myself and another gentleman were in the middle seats.  We'd done this hour and a half drive so much that we were both sleeping.t The next thing I knew I'm in one of the worst amusement park rides I've ever been on.  My ribs were hurting so bad I could barely breathe.  I thought I was going to die.  

The first responders asked me to move so they could get to the guy in the backseat.  That's when I first realized I couldn't move my legs.  They got me out on a backboard, and the next thing I knew was being lifeflighted to Buffalo.

I've been in hospitals and rehab centers up until Dec 24 when I came to live with my daughter and her family. We're (my wife and I) are having a house built which will be less than a mile from my daughter.  We should be moved in some time in March.  Because we have to take out a mortgage, my wife has had to continue to work.  Since she lives 2 1/2 hours away, and given the winter weather, I haven't seen her as much as I would have liked.

The accident was caused by a NY State trooper, who rammed into our stopped van at about 70 plus miles an hour. There is a lot about this accident that is public knowledge but I'll suffice it to say he has been suspended from the NYSP.   Otherwise everything else is in litigation and I shouldn't comment.  I do need prayer though in not being bitter toward him.

My purpose in posting this is just for all of us who call ourselves Christians to be open to the possibility that life changing events like this can happen that challenge our faith.  I'm as much a believer as I was before, but I'm not the same believer.  Sometimes I feel sorry for myself:  Lord, we had our retirement planned out - why did this have to happen.  For one thing, we're going to have a huge mortgage, as to where our old house was paid off.

But I trust the Lord and He knows what He's doing.  Even when we don't.

I'm never going to walk again, nor can I control my bowel and bladder.  Life has definitely changed.  I hope others will share similar experiences and we can encourage each other with that.

[R. Hartono]

Amen Jesus blesses ur faithfullness

 

 

[dhchristian]

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. (romans 8:18)

[ayin jade]

I will post on this later, but I have a couple of things that happened that I can relate to here. 

Sorry to hear of your accident and pain. Will pray for you.

[Sower]

11 hours ago, SavedByGrace1981 said:

But I trust the Lord and He knows what He's doing.  Even when we don't.

I'm never going to walk again, nor can I control my bowel and bladder.  Life has definitely changed.  I hope others will share similar experiences and we can encourage each other with that.

I do not know you personally, Saved, but you are family here at Worthy.
I was shocked to hear your story, and the results.
Am reluctant to share encouragement, as I feel it will only sound hollow.
I can only say you must be special, for God picked you for His glory.
I will fervently ask for His healing mercy.
God is on the throne. Prayer changes things.
 

[copenhagen]

I've attended at least three local churches for significant stretches. The more I attend church, the more cynical I become about church attendance. Sadly, the two main things that keep me going are force of habit and the draw of a free pastry and coffee. 

Church 1 has a pastor who is a pastor's son. Apparently his father was highly regarded, and the son is in good graces out of respect for his father. In reality, he is a bit of a simpleton. His sermons are quite boring and are generally cut and paste in format, reading passages from a particular book in order for as long as time allows. This church is well attended. I don't particularly understand the draw aside from it's apparently very popular cafe. 

Church 2 I used to attend because it had a strong young adult turnout. However, that particular time slot was canceled, so I don't really attend very often, if at all. They have a younger, hipster type pastor. He incorporates a lot of vaguely new agey, self help information into sermons which are more or less compatible with scripture. This place is just kind of a nothing burger. 

Church 3 is the most corrupt. It attracts a lot of hangers-on and parasites in the local community. A lot of these people are deeply troubled and will freely exploit anyone in the church who is gullible enough to befriend them. It also seems to attract a lot of highly committed churchgoers who eventually obtain some position of leadership and even small teaching positions within the church. It also attracted huge numbers of casuals who enjoy a free breakfast and the festival like atmosphere Sunday mornings. True devotees are significant in number, but many have some sort of ulterior motive. 
 

Generally speaking, I'm finding it increasingly embarrassing to be a christian associated with any of these churches. Aside from their trying their best to force a smile during services, christians are generally just as scummy and shady as everyone else. 

[ayin jade]

On 2/13/2020 at 9:24 AM, SavedByGrace1981 said:

Monday July 15 2019 started like any other workday.  I worked part time for a major car rental company, driving rental cars between branches or to the airport. I usually worked on a crew with 4 or 5 other gentlemen.  At 66 years old, I was actually one of the youngest.  Most of the others were in their 70s. All of us were retired and looked at this minimum pay job as just something to do to get us out of the house.

On this particular Monday 5 of us were in a minivan on the NY State thruway to pick up some cars in Jamestown and take them to the Buffalo airport. Myself and another gentleman were in the middle seats.  We'd done this hour and a half drive so much that we were both sleeping.t The next thing I knew I'm in one of the worst amusement park rides I've ever been on.  My ribs were hurting so bad I could barely breathe.  I thought I was going to die.  

The first responders asked me to move so they could get to the guy in the backseat.  That's when I first realized I couldn't move my legs.  They got me out on a backboard, and the next thing I knew was being lifeflighted to Buffalo.

I've been in hospitals and rehab centers up until Dec 24 when I came to live with my daughter and her family. We're (my wife and I) are having a house built which will be less than a mile from my daughter.  We should be moved in some time in March.  Because we have to take out a mortgage, my wife has had to continue to work.  Since she lives 2 1/2 hours away, and given the winter weather, I haven't seen her as much as I would have liked.

The accident was caused by a NY State trooper, who rammed into our stopped van at about 70 plus miles an hour. There is a lot about this accident that is public knowledge but I'll suffice it to say he has been suspended from the NYSP.   Otherwise everything else is in litigation and I shouldn't comment.  I do need prayer though in not being bitter toward him.

My purpose in posting this is just for all of us who call ourselves Christians to be open to the possibility that life changing events like this can happen that challenge our faith.  I'm as much a believer as I was before, but I'm not the same believer.  Sometimes I feel sorry for myself:  Lord, we had our retirement planned out - why did this have to happen.  For one thing, we're going to have a huge mortgage, as to where our old house was paid off.

But I trust the Lord and He knows what He's doing.  Even when we don't.

I'm never going to walk again, nor can I control my bowel and bladder.  Life has definitely changed.  I hope others will share similar experiences and we can encourage each other with that.

Im struggling to put any of this into words. 

As far as forgiving the cop who caused the accident, all I can say is I know how hard it is to forgive. I also know that sometimes it cant be done without the Lord. When a man murdered my brother in law, I had to call out to the Lord daily to soften my heart so I could forgive. It helped to pray for that mans salvation frequently. .... Taking break to spare a prayer now for his soul. ...

My life changed with cancer. I am not the woman I was before cancer. My faith didnt waiver but my body is not good. I admit to wondering why I am going through these side effects. Wondering how much more I will lose. My feet and hands have neuropathy. My hands dont work as well. Fine motor control is not there. So things like my quilting, playing the harp, even just opening a bottle is a struggle. My balance is off. My feet hurt all the time. I cant sweat any more, so living in the desert I am at risk for overheating. One eye is blurred because I cant produce tears. The artificial tears dont work too well in me. Now my other eye is starting to dry up too. Will I lose my vision? I try not to talk about it. No complaints ... or at least not too many ... but I also am feeling a bit useless these days. I cant really do much. I dont feel I contribute much of value on the forums or in chat lately. I sometimes even wonder if there is a purpose for me any more. 

Well now Ive depressed myself lol. 

Actually my life changed just before cancer too. My husband lost his job for 8 months prior to getting diagnosed with cancer. He was not able to get work during treatment and still cant, not until I can be left on my own. So far, I cant even open the front door of my home. 

Indeed life can certainly change. This is not how I pictured my later years. 

Praise the Lord in all things though. He has done many miracles all this time. Without Him I wouldnt have had the cancer caught until it was far too late. Without Him, I would have had a rougher time. Somehow He will see me through all of this too. 

[SavedByGrace1981]

9 hours ago, ayin jade said:

Im struggling to put any of this into words. 

As far as forgiving the cop who caused the accident, all I can say is I know how hard it is to forgive. I also know that sometimes it cant be done without the Lord. When a man murdered my brother in law, I had to call out to the Lord daily to soften my heart so I could forgive. It helped to pray for that mans salvation frequently. .... Taking break to spare a prayer now for his soul. ...

My life changed with cancer. I am not the woman I was before cancer. My faith didnt waiver but my body is not good. I admit to wondering why I am going through these side effects. Wondering how much more I will lose. My feet and hands have neuropathy. My hands dont work as well. Fine motor control is not there. So things like my quilting, playing the harp, even just opening a bottle is a struggle. My balance is off. My feet hurt all the time. I cant sweat any more, so living in the desert I am at risk for overheating. One eye is blurred because I cant produce tears. The artificial tears dont work too well in me. Now my other eye is starting to dry up too. Will I lose my vision? I try not to talk about it. No complaints ... or at least not too many ... but I also am feeling a bit useless these days. I cant really do much. I dont feel I contribute much of value on the forums or in chat lately. I sometimes even wonder if there is a purpose for me any more. 

Well now Ive depressed myself lol. 

Actually my life changed just before cancer too. My husband lost his job for 8 months prior to getting diagnosed with cancer. He was not able to get work during treatment and still cant, not until I can be left on my own. So far, I cant even open the front door of my home. 

Indeed life can certainly change. This is not how I pictured my later years. 

Praise the Lord in all things though. He has done many miracles all this time. Without Him I wouldnt have had the cancer caught until it was far too late. Without Him, I would have had a rougher time. Somehow He will see me through all of this too. 

Thank you so much for sharing, aiyn jade.  You didn't say whether your cancer was found long ago or recently, but I can tell reliving it and retelling it was very difficult for you. You'll never know how much that means to me that you did.  I of course will be praying for you.

Even though my screen name is SavedByGraced 1981, I actually accepted the Lord in 1980.  I just never had it changed - didn't seem important.  Anyway, in those 40 years I've had the normal life experiences.  Parents getting sick and ultimately dying, wife's mom dying, a brother and one sister dying (only one sibling left).  With the Lord's strength and grace, I've gotten through all those.  But by far this has been the ultimate test.  But in my heart I know He will get me through it, too.

In our 38 years of marriage, my wife Linda and I have had daily devotions in the morning.  Some time around last December I began having feelings of foreboding during those times.  This is not usual for me.  But I felt the Lord was preparing me for something bad - something happening to one of our kids, grandkids or friends.  I couldn't share any more with Linda because that's all I had.  She may have even thought I was crazy (though she never said so.)

So when the accident happened to me (and the four others) on July 15, I was actually somewhat relieved that this is what "that feeling" must have been about.  BTW, one thing I forgot to share about the accident.  Of the five of us, all of us sustained injuries to some degree, one other gentleman was and is paralyzed much as I am.  He will never walk either.  The three others suffered serious but lesser injuries.

One more thing, and then I'll finish.  As I said, the New York State Police are a fine organization.  One of the few in NY state that one never hears a scandal about.  Years ago, a good friend of mine went and tried out to be a trooper.  He made it (and is still there to this day)

That said, they are still made up of sinful, fallible human beings.  As I said, I cannot say much more (due to ongoing litigation) except that the particular trooper who hit us was NOT responding to a call. He has been suspended without pay from the NYSP for distracted driving.  That much is public domain knowledge, but one can use their imagination to decipher what distracted driving means.

With that I'll close.  Thanks again for sharing your most difficult story

-Ed   

[ayin jade]

My cancer was diagnosed july 2018. My infusions/surgery/radiation ended september 2019. 

[BibleStudent100]

Thanks to all the good folks who shared their stories in this thread; I appreciate your candor and more importantly your resolute commitment to stay faithful to God and to do His will no matter the physical disabilities that the car crash and cancer caused.  As someone who turns 60 next month and I who enjoys good health and good energy levels, I do NOT take that for granted as the blessing of good health can change at a moment's notice.  As a result, I work harder than ever to serve God. 

Blessed be you both!