Singleness

[Willow]

Hi Everyone,

There has been some talk lately regarding being single and what singleness entails. Can we really be happy single?....Can I be a fulfilled individual living my life without getting married?.....How do I know it is God's will that I should be married?

I would like this to be a discussion where the end result is encouragement. We all feel emotions and loneliness. I know married people who feel lonely. It just seems that every once in a while we need to discuss this topic to clear the air in people's lives, help them refocus.

This is just as much for our younger members as it is for us....more well seasoned in age members

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So I will start things off....I am 28, never had a boy friend, never kissed a guy, never held hands outside of the preacher saying "take the hand of the person next to you and let us bow our heads and pray". I have had close encounters, when I thought something would happen......but I did something odd.....I kept my mouth shut and prayed "God, if this is something you want me to be involved in, he must make the move. I will not". Surprise surprise.....no move.

I struggle with loneliness.....I struggle with everything down to 'Is it my perfume?"...do I shower? Maybe I have a strange twitch when I talk and don't even know it.....

It really has nothing to do with it. No I don't suffer from a bad twitch and I take forever to choose the right perfume. I am soooo fun too! (humbleness is a great quality to eh? ). I truly believe he just hasn't entered my physical world yet. Or to make it more complicated.....what if I am never to marry at all??

We get so caught up in this.....so caught up. Does it occur to anyone (myself included) that everyday we ought to ask God "what can I do for you today Lord?" In what part of that statement did that include "God....I want a boyfriend....Lord, I am really lonely......When's it MY turn....?"

Maybe, just for a change I could get up one morning, ignore the enemy saying to me that MY needs aren't being met (which is a load of garbage) and say "Lord, my time, my life, my resources are yours again today. Show me what to do with them".

So would we really think that a heart totally bent on serving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and asking daily to be in God's will.....that He wouldn't honor that and meet even a basic need like companionship? Does He want and entire world of singles?? I HIGHLY doubt that.

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So what are your thoughts? Questions?

I suggested in another thread reading the book from Elizabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity. Maybe those of you who can get a copy we could read it all sort of at the same time and discuss it....or at least inject thoughts from it as you read.

Let's have a higher call to purity and encourage each other in our struggles.

Blessings,

Willow

[yomotalking]

I am not looking for a boyfriend yet, but I am sometimes sO lonely......

[Keith]

I'm at work so I don't have the ability to post what I want in this thread right now, but please check back later. (After 7pm CST) I have a poem that talks about looking for love and singleness that is really great. I'm not a poetry person, but I've had this poem for the last 20 years and it's helped a lot of people.

[Constant]

I am married happily for 7 years to my first boyfriend. We are in the Marines so, we are away from each other alot. I get lonely. Not in the sense that I would do anything to jeapordize my marriage. Just lonely. Hundreds of miles away from my family and it is just me here at home when hubby is away at work.

Like you said, married people get lonely too.

My sister is single and has been for a little over two years. She tells me that she has high standards of what she wants her man to be. I think that is okay considering the man she had a baby with is a complete monster.

She looks for companionship and when she doesn't find it, she gets sad. She is lonely. But, she says that she has her daughter and family and she knows that one day she will be blessed with someone wonderful the way I was blessed with my husband.

[Artemus Prime]

Well, I'm sorta on the other side of the coin now, so to speak...about two months ago, my girlfriend of two years/fiance of one unceremoniously dumped me...needless to say, all kinds of conflicting emotions and so on and etc. As a Christian, I struggled with the whole "If God loves me, Why" argument, for the first couple weeks. Then I realized that...perhaps, as my pastor says, this is "God's 2X4 upside my head" to get my attention, to get my focus back where it should've been all along...on Him, not her...

At this point, I struggle with lonliness more than anything else...frankly, I got so "used" to having a g/f that I never entertained the possibility that I'd be single again...in other words, marriage plans and etc. Sometimes, lying in my bed at night, it really hurts. It's then I think of lyrics to one of my fav. songs of mine, by a band named Tait..."Sometimes it's hard/ Most times, I cry/ But God knows this heart of mine/ And He heals the pain I hide".

Thanks, gang, for letting me share. Keep the clay on the Potter's Wheel,

AP

[Keith]

My heart goes out to those who are lonely. I've experienced it, and still do at times, but not nearly as much as I used to. The poem I plan to post later tonight describes the reasons so perfectly.

One piece of key advice I can offer to deal with loneliness is this: Cling to Jesus. Rely on Him, spend time with Him, talk to Him constantly... I'm telling you the truth, it helps. He is our Source. Not just for finances, jobs, food, friends, etc... but also for our emotional needs.

Also, if you're lonely, stop listening to nonChristian music. All those songs about love and heartache only egg the loneliness on. They rub it in, actually!

Fill your life with everything Jesus. Christian friends, music, books, messages, the Word, prayer, fellowship with Jesus, etc.., What you will find happening is that your thoughts will begin to change. Random thoughts that pop into your head will be about the things you've been spending your time in. That's the key. We become like what we spend our time in.

There are blessings that come with being single!!! It's not something to be pitied or sad about! I'm single and blessed more than I ever could have imagined! More on this to come later tonight!

Edited July 25, 2005 by Keith

[Willow]

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com

Elisabeth Elliot's story centers around one pivotal question: "Does God want everything?" Her emphatic answer--"Yes"--is what makes Passion and Purity the foremost Christian book on dating ever written. Based on stories, journal entries, and letters chronicling her own five-year courtship with Jim Elliot, she gives frank advice, scriptural directives, and compassionate examples of what it means to follow Christ in the midst of heartache and impatience. The perfect antidote for those who flounder in the thinking that "the Bible doesn't say anything about dating," Elliot's short chapters are filled with nuggets of wisdom that spell out exactly the opposite. "Until the will and the affections are brought under the authority of Christ, we have not begun to understand, let alone accept His lordship. The Cross, as it enters the love live, will reveal the heart's truth." Whether in a dating relationship, married, or pursuing a call to single life, readers will find Elliot's message challenging them to a true faith in a Christ who lovingly calls us to surrender all. --Courtenay Kehn

Book Description

Very few books on dating have stood the test of time like Passion and Purity. Its much-needed message remains strong and hopeful in an age when doing whatever "feels right" is common practice. Using her own life as an example, Elisabeth Elliot guides singles of both genders and of any age on how to put their love lives under the authority of Jesus Christ. Passion and Purity covers dating issues such as:

[Willow]

Also, if you're lonely, stop listening to nonChristian music. All those songs about love and heartache only egg the loneliness on. They rub it in, actually!

Oh a BIG AMEN to that!!! Much of that kind of music makes us discontent. It actually turns love into a commodity rather that a beautiful gift.....grrr......

[Laura]

I am single, been my entire life. Around Christmas sometimes I used to wish I was married, for a larger family, etc. But I got over that

Seriously, I have learned through the years to make the best of what God has given me. If I never get married, that is okay. If I do, that is okay too. I firmly believe one day I will walk the aisle. That is all in God's timing.

When I was 29, I was in love and probably would have married, but that was not to be. Life went on. When I was 31 I became a Christian, and other things became more important in my life, aside from worldly friends, etc. Oh yes, I used to party, drink and smoke. Got over that too

I can HONESTLY say I have had more fun and enjoyment in the past 31 years since I have been saved, than before. Am I alone, yes at times, but never lonely. I thank God for that.

I could go on with more of God's blessings, but this is all for this time

[peaches]

Hi Everyone,

I suggested in another thread reading the book from Elizabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity.

Blessings,

Willow

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

where is that thread.....?