If You Wish You Didn’t Exist

[Henry_iain]

Matt 6:31 -34

 

   31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we         drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and    your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of    God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

  34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for         itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

I think we cause ourselves unnecessary grief very often by worrying about things that we can do nothing about or about things that haven't even happened yet. Now, I don't mean that we should be careless or unconcerned. But the fact is, we know difficult circumstances will come. This year has been a particularly tough year. But we do not yet know what the future will look like. And I believe God has provided for us sufficiently so that when we do get there, we will have the means of doing what we need to do. Which is to seek his Kingdom first. Do we really trust God? Do we believe He is able to take us through our circumstances? In that case, the future should not be something to be afraid of. 

We need to learn not to be motivated by fear. Love casts out fear. And nothing good ever comes from it. I think that is one of the things God is teaching me at the moment. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Marathoner]

There are times like this evening when I remember and it rushes forth like the waters of a flood. I'm submerged and find myself walking through places I knew long ago. I experience it all over again. 

How long has it been? The winds were howling and the propane tank was empty; the snow was close to three feet deep and the last 100 pound tank was a long way from the house. I was sick, emaciated, and very weak but I would carry out my duty to my friend until I breathed my last.

She kept me going for the longest time. Serving her made it possible to push through the dizziness so I would find a way to move that tank even if it killed me. Rest assured I'd hook it up before dropping dead. 

It was the longest night of my life. I grabbed the empty tank and used it like a plow, pushing as much snow out of the way as I possibly could to make the path clear. When I somehow arrived at the full tank I dropped to my knees and struggled to keep my wits... the best was yet to come. 

Had I lost my mind? The year before I could hoist one of those tanks and carry it to the house but now I found carrying a bucket of water a grueling ordeal. I started to weep and the tears froze on my cheeks... what was I doing in the middle of nowhere? I wanted to throw up, lay down in the snow, and get my miserable life over with. 

I looked to the house in the distance and saw the light in her bedroom window. Yes, this is the reason why I'm in the middle of nowhere. She was worth that miserable life many times over and so I stood to my feet, grabbed hold of the full tank, and started dragging it to the house.

I had never pushed myself in such a manner and wasn't sure if I'd make it. It felt like pulling a car but somehow I made it all the way... no, I wouldn't die just yet. I had to connect the tank which meant that I had to lift the thing and carry it for a short distance. It weighed 170 pounds which was 25 pounds heavier than I was at the time. 

I had lost 37% of my body weight in little over a year before that winter. I was a shell of the man I used to be. 

I was so thankful that our closest neighbors were miles away. I roared like an animal, bear-hugged the tank, picked it up, and deposited it into its proper place. After letting go I fought against waves of dizziness and nausea... nope, not time yet. Gotta hook it up!

I live by the grace and power of God. I surrendered the life in these veins many times over during those years of tribulation in the wilderness. At the end Jesus Christ raised me up from the shadow of death, restoring everything I had lost in a measure I did not possess beforehand... but as I rose my dearest friend in this world started slipping away. 

I was beside myself with grief. I had stood between her and a gun, pushed beyond the limits of this fleshly body, and stood watch long into the night waiting for the evil to come... I would gladly die for her sake and yet her time had come. The Lord inclines His ear to me but this was a petition He would not grant. God's will, and not my own, be done.   

I remember what it's like to suffer in such a way that all you long for is death. Never give up, my friends. We cannot begin to fathom what Almighty God has in store for us all.  

Edited December 20, 2020 by Marathoner

[enoob57]

On 7/30/2020 at 3:33 PM, Fidei Defensor said:

A lot of us get overwhelmed by despair. Even in Bunyan’s classic Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian is nearly crushed by the Giant Despair.    

In the simplicity it is God whom causes that which is born again to endure...

[Henry_iain]

5 minutes ago, Chicken coop2 said:

Been especially hard the past two days as the haters continue to attack me.  Tried to be happy and enjoy this especially depressing time of year, but that seems to only encourage the haters to be extra mean and cruel.  

Don't give up. You are still not alone.  God is not mean or cruel.  People can be mean and cruel without meaning to be. But the Lord still has plans for you, of that I am convinced. You need to find your joy and hope in him. Only He will never disappoint us . And remember Christmas is about him. Not in the culture around us but at heart. It matters that Christ was born.

I wish I could invite you to my house so we could talk face-to-face. 

Sometimes written words are not enough.  If I go to far please tell me. What can/should I do for you? 

 

 

[Henry_iain]

[Justin Adams]

1 hour ago, Chicken coop2 said:

Just so tired of fighting to endure. Been a constant battle since my earliest memory.

Nevertheless, you have good words and thoughts that you pass on to all who read your comments. Take heart in this fact.

Oh, and I do know what you are talking about. I would never seek to diminish that!

[SisterWells]

I'm praying for you, Coop, that God will see you through ♡

[1to3]

On 12/31/2020 at 3:55 AM, Chicken coop2 said:

Just so tired of fighting to endure. Been a constant battle since my earliest memory.

Hang in there holding Christ Jesus close. He is there to help you through.

You don't have to carry the burden alone, hand it all over to God, all your concerns, give them all to Him, He will fight the battle, He is here for us to help us, give all to Him, all your concerns, give them all to Him unload your heavy back pack on Him so that He can truly help you.

You are not alone.

I know when health issues attack us it is not easy and our thoughts can go down fast.Living alone when feeling down does make things quite raw.

you are not alone.

I am praying God give you the strength to persevere and I also pray in the Holy Blood Name of Christ Jesus that He HEAL you of ALL from the top of your head to the souls of your feet, please God heal Chicken Coop complete, surround him now with Your Grace, Mercy and Love so he feels You, Your Warmth and Compassion Complete. Thank you God for another Day, Thank You God for Your Word that shows us that You are who you said You are and that Your promises are ALL true. Thank you God for helping us through and that You never give us more than we can handle. Thank You God for Loving ChickenCoop and ministering to him right Now. We place our Trust in You Father God  give You Father God ALL the Praise and Glory forever and ever Amen! Amen! Amen!

Blessed New Year 2021

In Christ Jesus always

1to3

 

 

 

Edited January 1, 2021 by 1to3

[Aimes]

8 hours ago, Chicken coop2 said:

Just so tired of fighting to endure. Been a constant battle since my earliest memory.

Oh my dear RooRoo, I wish I had words that would ease the pain, both physical and emotional, but sadly I know from first hand experience they don't work most of the time. I don't pretend to understand your battle but I know that God has a plan for you. Look at all you contribute here, you bring joy and fun to so many. You give us friendship and what a special treat that truly is, I can't imagine you not being here in Worthyland with us. I know that sometimes the darkness around us grows to be very great but even in those dark times God is near to you and He is keeping you even when you cannot keep yourself. I'm praying for you extra hard today, that God would comfort you in every way that you need Him to and that you would feel his great love envelop you. 

[Henry_iain]