life is so much harder...

[missmuffet]

21 hours ago, integrity said:

Than you imagine growing up. I got married really young, had kids really fast, and I am happy in marriage but I'm just struggling. Idk maybe this should go on the prayer board, but i wonder if this is just a long adjustment period for me, and does everyone feel like i do once in their life. maybe there is something wrong with me. My main problem right now is (not our fault,I posters a out this on here) are my inlaws. We will be out in a month or 2, but I dont know how to make it until then. My question is this...how to get over unfair judgement /rejection? I dont wish and harm on her, I just want to be left alone. I know I still have years on this earth, and there are more trials to come. I just feel so weak right now. Almost like I dont care anymore.

You need to give this 100% to God. 

[integrity]

22 hours ago, missmuffet said:

You need to give this 100% to God. 

I am reading through all of the messages, and some really good advice has been given...but yours is the only thing I can manage. I dont want ti try to figure it out on my own...it gets really painful and a lot of anger if I try to understand why she treats me the way she does. I will just hand it over to God, every last bit of it. I know I can lean on God and if I trust Him to heal me, He has promised to not let down those who depend on Him. I want to be better. Not for me but for my kids. If they can see me standing up for myself, but in a godly way they will know I'm not a hypocrite.  thank you for this obvious advice. I needed to hear it again.

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, integrity said:

I am reading through all of the messages, and some really good advice has been given...but yours is the only thing I can manage. I dont want ti try to figure it out on my own...it gets really painful and a lot of anger if I try to understand why she treats me the way she does. I will just hand it over to God, every last bit of it. I know I can lean on God and if I trust Him to heal me, He has promised to not let down those who depend on Him. I want to be better. Not for me but for my kids. If they can see me standing up for myself, but in a godly way they will know I'm not a hypocrite.  thank you for this obvious advice. I needed to hear it again.

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God;

 

 When life gets overwhelming and busyness takes precedence, remember Psalm 46:10.

 

[JohnD]

On 11/24/2020 at 10:19 AM, ladypeartree said:

Jesus told us to love our enemies and do good to those that use us in an unkind way  try killing her with kindness ( just dont do it literally ) 

Uh, pray this prayer:

Lord bless and keep __________ (← fill in the blank) far away from (me / us).

I might also add that anyone looking down on you who takes refuge in your home for whatever reason has a lot of gall for not humbling themselves and respecting you for your SUPERIOR ability to maintain a home which they have been unable to do or unwilling to do themselves.

This may also be your opportunity to stand up and put them on notice (as I did with my own Mother decades ago).

Long story short my bipolar mother would flip her wig more times than I care to remember in my childhood. While visiting in my home she tried it and I told her bluntly "This is my house. I lived with it in your house 18 years. Not in my house!" I offered to get her an earlier flight home, but her sister came and picked her up. 

We patched things up a couple years later but they were on my terms as well as hers.

This may be your time.

Prayerfully consider it .

[integrity]

On 11/29/2020 at 10:31 AM, JohnD said:

Uh, pray this prayer:

Lord bless and keep __________ (← fill in the blank) far away from (me / us).

I might also add that anyone looking down on you who takes refuge in your home for whatever reason has a lot of gall for not humbling themselves and respecting you for your SUPERIOR ability to maintain a home which they have been unable to do or unwilling to do themselves.

This may also be your opportunity to stand up and put them on notice (as I did with my own Mother decades ago).

Long story short my bipolar mother would flip her wig more times than I care to remember in my childhood. While visiting in my home she tried it and I told her bluntly "This is my house. I lived with it in your house 18 years. Not in my house!" I offered to get her an earlier flight home, but her sister came and picked her up. 

We patched things up a couple years later but they were on my terms as well as hers.

This may be your time.

Prayerfully consider it .

JohnD, you are giving excellent advice. this has actually been on my heart for a few days now  now, with her undeniable arrogance, I cant kee qiuet anymore. I know by the end of this ordeal, I will have told her, honestly, what I will tolerate from her. And I will pray exactly that. even while we have to live under the same roof. that God keeps her nasty words away from my heart. I'm praying for wisdoms and for God to take away my anger/hurt, so I can tell her what need sto be said and not sin. It is at the front of my mind and I know it needs to happen.

[Marilyn C]

On 12/1/2020 at 11:59 AM, integrity said:

JohnD, you are giving excellent advice. this has actually been on my heart for a few days now  now, with her undeniable arrogance, I cant kee qiuet anymore. I know by the end of this ordeal, I will have told her, honestly, what I will tolerate from her. And I will pray exactly that. even while we have to live under the same roof. that God keeps her nasty words away from my heart. I'm praying for wisdoms and for God to take away my anger/hurt, so I can tell her what need sto be said and not sin. It is at the front of my mind and I know it needs to happen.

Hi integrity,

Just read your thread. People have been giving such good advice and your dear heart is open to hear. My little bit to add is you are doing so well to give it all to the Lord for the mother-in-law has the problem. Your trial is the unfairness of it all. How would we ever grow in the Lord`s character unless we went through these difficulties. It means we certainly have to draw on HIS strength to even talk to these people let alone `love` care for them. 

And amid that we tend to shut our mouth, whereas we need to draw a boundary, otherwise it all builds up and snips and snarls and whole volcanoes of trouble erupts. Thus, as with the Lord when they tried stuff on Him, He drew the line, although still cared for the person underneath the stuff they threw at Him. So I  suggest when some nasty comment comes, just say quietly but firmly,

`That is not nice, or

That is not true, or

could you say that another way, or

what do you mean by that.....etc.

Ask the Lord to help you through this time as you are really making the offender to become accountable for the nasty comments. If we let one comment go, and then another and so on then the person is not made accountable and will keep doing it. The hurt builds up your life and can become toxic. 

So ....praying, Marilyn.

[integrity]

On 11/30/2020 at 10:26 PM, Marilyn C said:

Hi integrity,

Just read your thread. People have been giving such good advice and your dear heart is open to hear. My little bit to add is you are doing so well to give it all to the Lord for the mother-in-law has the problem. Your trial is the unfairness of it all. How would we ever grow in the Lord`s character unless we went through these difficulties. It means we certainly have to draw on HIS strength to even talk to these people let alone `love` care for them. 

And amid that we tend to shut our mouth, whereas we need to draw a boundary, otherwise it all builds up and snips and snarls and whole volcanoes of trouble erupts. Thus, as with the Lord when they tried stuff on Him, He drew the line, although still cared for the person underneath the stuff they threw at Him. So I  suggest when some nasty comment comes your line, just say quietly but firmly, `That is not nice, or That is not true, or could you say that another way, or what do you mean by that.....etc.

Ask the Lord to help you through this time as you are really making the offender to become accountable for the nasty comments. If we let one comment go, and then another and so one then the person is not made accountable and will keep doing it. The hurt builds up your life and can become toxic. 

So ....praying, Marilyn.

Marilyn, God bless you for your kind words ♡ every but of it is true. Yesterday, after finding out our deadline for the house was gon a be extended for another month because of the city, I was distraught beyond belief. I cried the whole day. I thought Christmas we would be in our own home, and I would be celebrating it with just my dear  husband and 3 babies. But it's not to be, closer to February is most likely. I prayed so hard that night, and I felt the embrace of Jesus, I cannot explain it. I heard inside,as I cried and anguished, "You are loved." And I kept hearing them be repeated, those words  until I stopped what i was saying and accepted them. And I felt those words with such conviction, boldness, as if Jesus was saying I am telling you truth, take it. I didnt want to stand up from my knees. I wanted to pray all night, just to feel that warmth  that embrace that no human can ever fill for me. So I thanked Him for this trial, that I got to feel His love again. And how wonderful it is, to be completely known  and still completely and wholly loved.  thank you for your words, I am going to screen shot it and save them. Practice those lines. You are right  if I do not call her out on it, she will never stop.

Edited December 2, 2020 by integrity

[Marilyn C]

4 hours ago, integrity said:

Marilyn, God bless you for your kind words ♡ every but of it is true. Yesterday, after finding out our deadline for the house was gon a be extended for another month because of the city, I was distraught beyond belief. I cried the whole day. I thought Christmas we would be in our own home, and I would be celebrating it with just my dear  husband and 3 babies. But it's not to be, closer to February is most likely. I prayed so hard that night, and I felt the embrace of Jesus, I cannot explain it. I heard inside,as I cried and anguished, "You are loved." And I kept hearing them be repeated, those words  until I stopped what i was saying and accepted them. And I felt those words with such conviction, boldness, as if Jesus was saying I am telling you truth, take it. I didnt want to stand up from my knees. I wanted to pray all night, just to feel that warmth  that embrace that no human can ever fill for me. So I thanked Him for this trial, that I got to feel His love again. And how wonderful it is, to be completely known  and still completely and wholly loved.  thank you for your words, I am going to screen shot it and save them. Practice those lines. You are right  if I do not call her out on it, she will never stop.

Hi integrity,

Oh how wonderful for such a close encounter with our precious Lord. It seems that when we get to the very end of ourselves that the Lord is there in a very special way. How precious for you. And to thank the Lord for the trial, such maturity, integrity, the Lord is producing in you.

Now as you stand your ground, quietly & firmly, the enemy will try and influence the other person to get you to fight with words. Don`t fall for that, or try and justify yourself etc or get entangled with what happened in the past etc. but just firmly say again -

That was not right,

That was not nice,

I`m not here to argue,

And then get busy about your jobs. That way you are putting all the bad feelings back on that other person who has to deal with all their pent up anger etc.

If she gives advice, thank her, but then say this is how I do it. Then if she wants to help give her a job of hanging out the children`s clothes or folding them up. I think this lady does not know how to help even though she wants to be involved. Perhaps in her life she has been put down. Maybe you can think of something encouraging now & then to say to her. In the Lord the whole situation can be turned around, only God can do that. We have our part and He does His.

Still praying, Marilyn.

 

[Willa]

God gives us the hardest person for us to love to teach us how great His love is.  If He can love such a person as that and die for that person, He can love me as well.  

For me it was my father in law.  I never did love him as Jesus does but it kept me on my knees asking for His help.  Eventually I learned that only by allowing Jesus to love him through me would I be able to do His will.  I need to be a conduit for His love and allow it to flow through me to those who are unlovable and unforgivable.  It is the hardest lesson to learn but the deepest truth in Christianity.  

Eph 3:14  For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Eph 3:15  from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

Eph 3:16  that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man,

Eph 3:17  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,

Eph 3:18  may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—

Eph 3:19  to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Eph 3:20  Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,

Eph 3:21  to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

[francesco]

In times of trouble and temptation I have found great strength in prayer.  You know that you can do all things with God.  You must believe this in true faith.  The next time things get bad for you for whatever reason, take some time to just talk with Jesus.  Tell Him
what's troubling you (He already knows), and how difficult it is for you to persevere.  Ask Him for help, for the strength to do His will.  Ask Him to protect, and guide, and have mercy on you.  In His unknowable way He will not abandon you.  And this is important: the more you talk with Him the more peace and joy you will know.  Pray always.  He loves you and wants the best for you.