An Emotionally Abusive Person

[Unit 11]

So you feel bad about avoiding her, but she doesn't feel bad about the abusive behavior that caused you to avoid her? Doesn't sound right to me.

You have no obligation whatever to put up with someone who treats you like that. (And I've had my experiences, too.) It's they who are obliged to treat you with the consideration and courtesy every person deserves. If she disregards that, then she can only blame herself for you not calling her. Actions have consequences. 

 

[IloveyouGod.]

8 hours ago, LadyKay said:

But now she is mad because I am not calling her on the phone. And I feel bad about it but it is just so hard to do. Sometimes I just don't have the emotional energy to endure the criticism.

You have been given lots of good advice here, and I just want to add something. 

My mothers mother is very similar to her.  She has found that the best thing to do is to cut off contact.  Sometimes in life there are things that only God can fix.  I would pray about it and ask for guidance.  I would also talk to her.  Have a sit down meeting and explain what will happen if she acts in X way and make it clear that she is acting inappropriately.  

 

God bless.

[The_Patriot21]

as someone who has had issues with in laws in the past I can relate. I have not read all the replies so I don't know if this has already been brought up-and I apologize if it has not, but what does your husband have to say about this? have you talked about it with him, and maybe try to get him to say something to her? 

If he has and it didnt work, or even if he refuses, then quite frankly the best thing you can do in my opinion is first off stand up to her-tell her she needs to stop talking to you like that. You don't need to be nasty...but you do need to be firm. Then if she persists break contact with her, and don't let your daughter be around her either. Your daughter doesnt need that in her life. Being family doesn't give her the right to mistreat you. And quite frankly, being your mother in law-your husband really should step in and tell her to back off, but if hes not willing or is unable to stop her you do need to say something.

me and my wife literally ghosted my sister in law for several years. Barely any contact unless absolutley necessary, because of her manipulative actions. When we did start communicating again she was far more mature and we get along now. I don't know if it was because of us pretty much avoiding her, or because she grew up and matured, or maybe getting married solved some of the issues, or a combination of them, but it worked out. I realize its not quite the same thing-she was manipulative, not abusive, but she still caused a lot of problems and was still a negative influence.

Anyway, I pray that the Lord brings you peace and a solution to this.