How much can a Pastor say to his wife

[Giaour]

The pastor made it sound like I was an idiot. He made them all laugh at how ignorant "this person" was. He was ridiculing me into believing his way. It didnt work. He was mocking me!

[Iryssa]

You're kidding!! That's horrible! I would definitely talk to him about it, then...and I wouldn't mince words, either (don't attack, but don't leave him in any doubt of how you feel about it). That's just...off-side.

[kittylover0991]

ok.. that is madness.. you seriously need to talk to him.. next, was this youth pastor or pastor? If it is the youth pastor.. you can talk to the senior pastor.. if it is the senior pastor.. the best thing to do is pray about it or talk to his wife..

I am SO sorry that that happened.. that isnt' right and I know God woudnt' have someone to say that.. pray about it... i will be praying for you

And if i may ask.. for more advice... maybe pm woudl be best if you want.. but waht was the situation you were talking to him about? I know this might seem upfront and very forward, but we might be able to help and we won't laugh I promise

[Iryssa]

ok.. that is madness.. you seriously need to talk to him.. next, was this youth pastor or pastor? If it is the youth pastor.. you can talk to the senior pastor.. if it is the senior pastor.. the best thing to do is pray about  it or talk to his wife.. 

I would talk to the guy first, THEN with a couple of witnesses, THEN with the church authorities...that is the biblically prescribed method of dealing with disagreement among believers (Matthew 18:15-17)...plus it just irks me when I find out someone has a problem with me from someone other than the offended.

[kittylover0991]

Technically.. other than God.. isn't the pastor the highest authority in the church? or am i wrong?

[Iryssa]

Technically.. other than God.. isn't the pastor the highest authority in the church? or am i wrong?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It really depends on the denomination and the setup...sometimes there are people over that position. If there's an issue with the senior pastor, in our church, he becomes accountable to the board of elders (it's sorta a mutual accountability thing, from my understanding).

[kittylover0991]

You mean.. kind of like the deacons almost?

But still, that wasn't right...

[Iryssa]

Yeah...in fact, I think it's the same thing, just a different title.

And yeah...not right at all. I would be so mad.

[Giaour]

Sorry Kitty, I didn't mean to hijack your topic. It's not all about me, I know. It's just your situation brought up my own. I am searching for a new church that won't judge me.

It was the head pastor of a baptist church.

I can't talk to him, he treats me like the church heathen.

I have been going there without fail for 7 years now.

I think he must have gossipped about me because only a couple people even talk to me.

There are a couple of things that I feel strongly about and will not compromise my convictions about. One of them was church membership. He refused to baptise me because I was not a member. I told him I was a member of the Body of Christ, God's CHURCH. I told him that by calling myself a baptist, I'm seperating myself from all other Christians of other denominations. I told him a house divided against itself can not stand. Christians need to unite and become one and stop fighting amongst ourselves. He finally agreed to baptise me. This was all discussed in private. That morning he preached on membership and said not wanting to become a member of a local church is like wanting to play a sport but refusing to join the team. They all laughed. I am a member of the team, God's olympic team not the inter murals team at the local "Y".

I also don't fill out attendence cards. King David counted the people in his kingdom and God punished him for it. God knows the number who are His. God knows I'm in church, it doesnt matter if the FBA knows I'm there. When they hand out the cards, I just politely put them in my bible, not saying a word. I don't make a fuss about it, I just do it quietly.

When I ask a question in bible study, the teacher rolls his eyes at me. Like I'm bothering him.

They want people to do things because they say to. They don't want anyone to think and read and study for themselves.

My dad is a carpenter, owns his own business. He never had any sons so he taught me all he knows. I've built and fixed things with him since I could walk. The church needed a new roof and asked the congregation for volunteers to help. I volunteered and was told to help the ladies fix the meals for the men.

I'm not allowed to be in the chior because I'm not a member, I can't work in the nursery because I'm not a member, I can't help in the classrooms because I'm not a member etc etc...

I'm an ooutcast.

I NEED a new church.

Okay deep breath, I'm okay now, done ranting.... well temporarily. LOL

[EricH]

I do not share what people talk to me about with my wife. I do not share what goes on at elder meetings with my wife. I do this to protect her and to preserve confidentiality