I'd like y'all's opinion on something especially the ladies

[SIC]

I have two opinions:

1. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then I as a man am justified in avoiding that small group on the grounds of the skewed men-women ratio.

2. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then that is no accident but is a reflection of the leader's leadership.

Now the question I have is:

Are these two opinions misogynistic?

[ayin jade]

Yes but more so, both are dead wrong. 

For the first, avoiding it is silly based on gender ratio, unless the Lord is telling you to avoid it. However who is leading the bible study, a man or woman? If you, a man, are being taught by a woman, that is dicey according to scripture. 

For the second, perhaps the skewed gender ratio is more a reflection of the coldness of the hearts of the men in the congregation, a lack of commitment on their part, or a reflection of their lack of time available to show up rather than a reflection of leadership.

I wouldnt judge whether or not an equal number of men were present. Each individual needs to check their heart, if they are being edified or not, if the study is held in a scriptural manner and with sound scriptural teaching.

[SIC]

35 minutes ago, ayin jade said:

Yes but more so, both are dead wrong. 

For the first, avoiding it is silly based on gender ratio, unless the Lord is telling you to avoid it. However who is leading the bible study, a man or woman? If you, a man, are being taught by a woman, that is dicey according to scripture. 

For the second, perhaps the skewed gender ratio is more a reflection of the coldness of the hearts of the men in the congregation, a lack of commitment on their part, or a reflection of their lack of time available to show up rather than a reflection of leadership.

I wouldnt judge whether or not an equal number of men were present. Each individual needs to check their heart, if they are being edified or not, if the study is held in a scriptural manner and with sound scriptural teaching.

A man is leading it and none of the other small groups have such a skewed ratio as his. Which is why I find it weird. It is almost like he is deliberately attracting women

Edited September 22, 2021 by SIC
To add more details

[Baltika]

Hmm, well, SIC I tend to agree with Ayin Jade on this one. BUT, but if YOUR gut (intuition) says differently. Trust it.

God maybe trying to say something to you and that is why it feels strange.

Best Wishes

Baltika

[ayin jade]

1 hour ago, SIC said:

A man is leading it and none of the other small groups have such a skewed ratio as his. Which is why I find it weird. It is almost like he is deliberately attracting women

Hmm 

Is his teaching method geared for women, or are the women choosing to be with an attractive teacher? It does seem odd. But not knowing all the details or the people, hard to say.

As was mentioned by Baltika, if your intuition feels off, perhaps the Lord is saying stay away.

[Baltika]

3 hours ago, SIC said:

I have two opinions:

1. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then I as a man am justified in avoiding that small group on the grounds of the skewed men-women ratio.

2. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then that is no accident but is a reflection of the leader's leadership.

Now the question I have is:

Are these two opinions misogynistic?

Absolutely not misogynistic. Men and Women both have their places set by God

[Kelly2363]

2 hours ago, SIC said:

A man is leading it and none of the other small groups have such a skewed ratio as his. Which is why I find it weird. It is almost like he is deliberately attracting women

 

Well that statement is quite a statement. The thing is SIC it doesn't mater what you discern - and I wouldn't let your intuition inform you because that is the flesh and has nothing to do with a spiritual meaning - whatever you say  (unless you yourself have heard from the Lord) your concern will be ignored until the fruit of your concern materialises in whatever way it does materialise. Even then - if you are given a means to discern why this brother is attracting more female than male members to the para church meetings your eldership may still simply turn away. It all rather depends on who everyone is in that church. 

If harm is intended - and it really doesn't matter who intends the harm - then the only people that have authority to deal with that outcome of harm before it happens are the elders of the church. You could also deal with it by speaking against it providing you really have heard from the Lord and are in the spirit when you do speak. I don't necessarily mean a rebuke - unless it is a rebuke - but rather speaking so as to disclose to the one who intends harm - a realisation that the Lord knows what they are doing. 

Your original questions seemed skewed because you ask your questions in a way that implies a likely imbalance that infers a man - else misogynist cannot have a meaning because were it NOT a man - then misandrist would have been the necessary equivalent if a woman - yet the questions could have implied the opposite meaning and directed to a misandrist actor. Asking questions in that way may produce no more than the flesh of the responder who acts out of their own flesh. The problem is we use words like children's sweets and almost never really sense what a cloud of confusion has been sown into the issue of male and female relationships. 

In any event you have now said (in your second post) that your concern is with a man. And you have said "It is almost like he is deliberately attracting women." 

So you need to examine yourself first in order to remove your own flesh from the concern - otherwise you will never arrive at anything more than mere words. That has to be real and in my own experience of having similar concerns in the church in the past - that usually took prayer and fasting. But once you have put yourself in the way of the Lord and the Lord has either remained silent or else removes you expressly in your flesh - then you have a basis for knowing in a way that translates like to is - so long as your concern remains. 

Unless he is an elderly brother and the woman are a balance of ages then he should NOT be attracting women regardless. Even then a mature sister or else his mature wife should be present to provide a cover for the other sisters. 

If your concern is real and even if you are used of the Lord to turn away harm, that is not seen by anyone but yourself because it has been turned away - you will be hated if you don't walk carefully and compassionately. So just remember that. The churches are filled with ill effects and answering them is always filled with consequences. Or you could do what many pastors and elders do - and just super spiritualise everything and call on the magic Jesus to cast a spell and make everyone better. 

Edited September 22, 2021 by Kelly2363
spelling

[Deborah_]

5 hours ago, SIC said:

I have two opinions:

1. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then I as a man am justified in avoiding that small group on the grounds of the skewed men-women ratio.

2. If a church small group's men-women ratio is significantly more skewed towards women than the men-women ratio in the church then that is no accident but is a reflection of the leader's leadership.

Now the question I have is:

Are these two opinions misogynistic?

If this one group is short of men, then more men need to join it! 

[SIC]

2 hours ago, ayin jade said:

Hmm 

Is his teaching method geared for women, or are the women choosing to be with an attractive teacher? It does seem odd. But not knowing all the details or the people, hard to say.

As was mentioned by Baltika, if your intuition feels off, perhaps the Lord is saying stay away.

The guy found his wife in the small group. Which is not wrong per se.. I do feel like is small group encourages a kind of 'minimum commitment' Christianity. A kind of Christianity that only comforts you and does not challenge you...

[SIC]

2 hours ago, Baltika said:

Absolutely not misogynistic. Men and Women both have their places set by God

Thanks. I am not keen on leading a 'crusade' against the man who leads the small group. When I refused to join his small group on the grounds of the skewed ratio he accused me of misogyny. I just want to know that I am not misogynistic. Let him do what he wants. That's between him and God. This whole business of 'calling someone out' is pretty taxing..