Difficult Topic perhaps? "My orientation"

[Mitaze1075]

There are multiple interpretations held within Christianity on this subject, with scholarly work on it. But that’s all besides the point if you’re wanting to know how to put it behind you. 
 

The first thing to know is that there is nothing wrong with you. Sexuality is a combination of nature and nurture. Everyone finds people attractive. You can’t really control who you find attractive anymore than choose what foods you like or what music you prefer. So don’t beat yourself up over it. 
 

So I’m a heterosexual man. I don’t have any desires to be with a guy in a romantic or sexual way. I have no issues with the LGBT community and have friends who are in that faith, and friends who are Christians with thOse orientations. 
 

So while we can’t control who we find attractive, we can control how we react. I see woman who at every pretty all the time. I see women who sometimes I want to look at. But I make the choice not too. I’ve disciplined myself to be more motivated by my principles than by my emotions or desires.  You train yourself in what you want. Learn to not objectify men , or woman for that fact. Just because I’m attracted to women does not mean I can’t rose about it and have female friends. I’m happily engaged, and I still have female friends who are very important to me. So make friends. Don’t worry if you find them attractive or not. Don’t let your fantasies run away. Don’t objectify them. Develop the skills you need for for life 

[com7fy8]

On 7/6/2022 at 12:57 AM, LittlePebble10 said:

Honestly I don't want to be told I was born this way.

We were born in sin; and therefore every one of us was born with the character which makes us able to give in to wrong things. Gay stuff is just one specialization of sin. Sexual pleasure is a major treasure for a lot of people. It can be easy to get and it feels nice and it is intense pleasure; and so ones desperate to feel something nice can be very desperate to get sexual pleasure. The preference, then, really, of gay stuff could be preference for pleasure. After all, it is not a reproductive preference! It does not produce children. 

But in my heterosexual stuff, I can be wrong by being mainly intimate with my own pleasure sensations inside myself. Intimacy with my own feelings is not intimacy of love with another person . . . certainly not with God, in case my feelings are not in His love and guiding of my attention. 

We need to obey how God guides our attention. And "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus," we have in Philippians 4:6-7. God is almighty; so His peace is almighty to keep our minds right and to keep our attention where our attention needs to be.

So, we need how God in us makes us submissive and how He personally guides our attention in sharing with Him in His peace. Simply trust Jesus to do this with you, and then help others to do this, too. We need to help each other, as family  . . . including so you are not acting in isolation with preferences which can isolate you from the loving you can be enjoying.

Edited August 23, 2022 by com7fy8

[TreeFivew]

On 7/5/2022 at 11:57 PM, LittlePebble10 said:

If I need to move this elsewhere I won't be offended. Just don't delete it. I would appreciate if I can copy it for use elsewhere if it cannot be on this forum via the adult side.

Introduction Of Topic

Honestly I don't want to be told I was born this way. My relationship status has been, "Long Distance." I am an A-typical guy since my teenage years. I find a lot within pastel colors and mystical imaginary things. Lastly My orientation is undesired.

Oddly enough my first time really noticing was from some one pointing it out to me. While getting close to other men is normal forming a relational bond is not. At least not for me. In short I have bi-tendencies. I distance myself from people when I feel like a bond is forming. While I know this is my trust issues I still can't identify why I get so close emotionally to other men. 

The good news is my girlfriend is very accepting of my autistic devices. Even her stuffed animals is a talking point. Bad news is she moved a couple states away. Add that my interests in craft is difficult to find friends in. Specifically Christian ones. Which adds to the already complex status. I made a few mistakes with every mans battle, but I am grateful I never lost my V-card. Thanks to my social phobias. 

 

Private Art Diary

One area I found helpful was figure art. Taking biology into a more pure art form. I even began merging it with anthromorphology. Basically biological structures human to animal theory. With a veterinary anatomy book I began studying basics. While this is not lust by itself I wonder if implementing it into my private offline diary could be. 

Idealy theoretical reproduction systems is well... Theoretical. Also note its a study of this process. Not making a meal off of it. If you catch my drift. Actually its more of a study of inner egg to child birth. Then its similar to egg laying. Which most people don't really find provocative unless your that oddball that opened up a science book and magically got excited at diagrams. A lizard or snake lays an egg. 

Generally the problem is within a line being drawn. Human anatomy being merged with mystical fantasy. Aka.... it is identifiable and better judgement needs to considered. Part of this is examining myself with this orientation I don't desire. Then expressing something of it to try and identify the real issue causing it.

Scripture basis

As far as I understand the scriptures Specifically "Corinthians NT," about taking it in and dwelling on it. Then this turned to lust and was the immorality that Apostle Paul was trying to convey to the Church in Corinth. 

In all actuality there were underlying meanings giving the impression this was a sign for a problematic heart condition. Lust came about because of something deeper. Let be real for a second though. Its difficult for me to say because I am still grasping Acts and Titus. I only took short readings in Corinthians. Also note that there are two letters Apostle Paul wrote? 

I find it very cliche, but I am going to say it anyway. Sexual immorality was indeed a problem even for the Church then. I could at least admit I am not alone to these problems. Forgive me for this next one. King of Solomon even clearly painted the picture in Ecclesiastes. "Nothing is new under the sun," and "All is vanity," if not for "Our Salvation in Christ."

So, in essence I need a point in the right direction. I won't be shairing my private diary mind you, but I am willing to share some self reflection I think may be helpful to others. Obviously I won't be sharing my biology art anytime soon. I will admit there is some for critique. Which is another question I need answering. At what point does a particularly theory become untasteful? 

 

All together in Expressed Emotions

The art is basically the structure of these these theories. Characters and a fictional species of many kinds. I won't debate over my calling. I know this be beating a dead horse. However, my calling in art and writing is within a story expressing personal things in a vague if not unrecognizable way. While the true life is there hiding in plain site I never had anyone outside of family point it out. At least not without me giving it away. 

As much as I hate to admit it... This has become a very therapeutic tool in other aspects. With Andrew Loomis being made a furry this kind of pushes it a little. Although again its focal point is identifying key issues causing my problems. 

Knowing how to keep this diary without it betraying me is the real item. I keep thinking to myself the early Church was faced with the exact same problems. Only this was rooted in idolatry and the "offered to idols," thing. Here I am purely taking science and expressing difficult things. Then applying scripture to this meditation.

Although we might mention the elephant in the room. Some pastors joke about the guy who preached with no cloths on. Forget about mamillion biology for a second. This guy was completely exposed.

I suppose the real issue here is the raw scripture itself. What is my heart motives in this? Until I confront these issues I am left throwing darts at a target blind folded. Simply hoping I land on "the scripture," I am looking for. So, I hope this giant wall of text was not too awful to read through. Not an easy topic and I need a point in the correct direction.

I always believed I have been autistic, although it was never confirmed.