Spiritual Growth And Life Through Biblical Fellowship And Ministry

[KylewithaL]

QUOTE FROM KYLEWITHAL's WORTHY WELCOME THREAD :

Thanks for everyone’s replies! Is there an option I’m overlooking to reply back to individual messages? (Not a pm, just including that message above my reply?) MSP is Minneapolis/ St Paul…sorry, I guess I should have just spelled it out! I suppose what I’m looking for in a church is guidance. Like I said, I’ve only considered myself a “Christian” for a few months…although I did attend a Christian school for a couple of years when I was a child, so I probably already knew more about Christianity than most people in my position. I’ve put myself through A LOT in the past couple of decades and I think it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still alive. That being said, I haven’t been in that type of lifestyle for close to ten years now, but still far from perfect! My biggest issue- the way I see it, and what I would like to find guidance on- preferably face to face with someone I can fill in all the details, because there’s LOTS of details, is my situation with my “girlfriend.” We’ve lived together for 9 years and it’s honestly the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. (I’m 48, never married, no kids…crazy huh?) I regrettably used my life for partying and hopping from relationship to relationship…I’ve had a couple of good ones that I regret sabotaging but it is what it is. You can’t change the past, something I’ve learned to deal with. Back to my current relationship- it wasn’t good to begin with but now that I’m seeing things different, it’s got worse. She thinks I’m nuts for wanting to go to church, etc…I mean if she was on board with this new type of lifestyle I’m doing my best to pursue, I’d feel like I should ask her to marry me since we’ve been together for so long. But she isn’t, so what do I do? A. Stay with her and lead by example, even though it makes it so much harder for me to find fellowship with other Christians ? (Not blaming that on her, it’s totally on me but again, it is what it is) or B. Tell her we can’t be together anymore and to figure something out that doesn’t include me. (She doesn’t work, she doesn’t cook, she doesn’t do much except smoke a lot of weed…but she DOES do laundry and kinda keeps the house clean!) Also, I’m from Georgia but we’ve lived here for almost 8 years now. So I’m nowhere near my family and longtime friends…if I were I could absolutely find decent recommendations on a good church. DEFINITELY no cults! I want something biblical. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Paul Washer, RC, Voodie Bauchman, Charles Lawson, and John Barnett! 

I should clarify…she smokes weed all day every day while laying in the bed and watching hours and hours of Dr Who. It’s driving me crazy

[Michael37]

Through the fellowship and ministry of Worthy Forums we have a wonderful opportunity to promote spiritual growth and Life among whosoever will believe in Jesus Christ.

Recently @KylewithaL joined us seeking a "church".

I am posting some of his backstory in this thread rather than extending his Worthy Welcome thread, linked below, with it.

 

[Wayne222]

Hi brother I will be praying for you. I do think if you decide to stay in the relationship you should get married. Otherwise it’s sexual sin. God wants us to be clean in body and spirit as he is. This is a hard one since you been together so long. But it’s wonderful you want to be with God and Christ. I hope the lord leads you in a clear way. I like Calvery Chapel churches. There in a lot of states. Baptist and southern Baptist are good. It’s also hard to find a good one. 
 

[PraiseHim1004]

14 hours ago, KylewithaL said:

QUOTE FROM KYLEWITHAL's WORTHY WELCOME THREAD :

Thanks for everyone’s replies! Is there an option I’m overlooking to reply back to individual messages? (Not a pm, just including that message above my reply?) MSP is Minneapolis/ St Paul…sorry, I guess I should have just spelled it out! I suppose what I’m looking for in a church is guidance. Like I said, I’ve only considered myself a “Christian” for a few months…although I did attend a Christian school for a couple of years when I was a child, so I probably already knew more about Christianity than most people in my position. I’ve put myself through A LOT in the past couple of decades and I think it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still alive. That being said, I haven’t been in that type of lifestyle for close to ten years now, but still far from perfect! My biggest issue- the way I see it, and what I would like to find guidance on- preferably face to face with someone I can fill in all the details, because there’s LOTS of details, is my situation with my “girlfriend.” We’ve lived together for 9 years and it’s honestly the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. (I’m 48, never married, no kids…crazy huh?) I regrettably used my life for partying and hopping from relationship to relationship…I’ve had a couple of good ones that I regret sabotaging but it is what it is. You can’t change the past, something I’ve learned to deal with. Back to my current relationship- it wasn’t good to begin with but now that I’m seeing things different, it’s got worse. She thinks I’m nuts for wanting to go to church, etc…I mean if she was on board with this new type of lifestyle I’m doing my best to pursue, I’d feel like I should ask her to marry me since we’ve been together for so long. But she isn’t, so what do I do? A. Stay with her and lead by example, even though it makes it so much harder for me to find fellowship with other Christians ? (Not blaming that on her, it’s totally on me but again, it is what it is) or B. Tell her we can’t be together anymore and to figure something out that doesn’t include me. (She doesn’t work, she doesn’t cook, she doesn’t do much except smoke a lot of weed…but she DOES do laundry and kinda keeps the house clean!) Also, I’m from Georgia but we’ve lived here for almost 8 years now. So I’m nowhere near my family and longtime friends…if I were I could absolutely find decent recommendations on a good church. DEFINITELY no cults! I want something biblical. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Paul Washer, RC, Voodie Bauchman, Charles Lawson, and John Barnett! 

I should clarify…she smokes weed all day every day while laying in the bed and watching hours and hours of Dr Who. It’s driving me crazy

Tap/ click quote at bottom and then type the message then submit reply. 

What I am doing now.  

[Who me]

15 hours ago, KylewithaL said:

if I were I could absolutely find decent recommendations on a good church. DEFINITELY

May I suggest checking out the Christianity Explor3d website  for churches in your area.

As for your girlfriend, don't  give her money for cannabis, encourage her to attend church with you and to start looking for work.

[farouk]

16 hours ago, KylewithaL said:

QUOTE FROM KYLEWITHAL's WORTHY WELCOME THREAD :

Thanks for everyone’s replies! Is there an option I’m overlooking to reply back to individual messages? (Not a pm, just including that message above my reply?) MSP is Minneapolis/ St Paul…sorry, I guess I should have just spelled it out! I suppose what I’m looking for in a church is guidance. Like I said, I’ve only considered myself a “Christian” for a few months…although I did attend a Christian school for a couple of years when I was a child, so I probably already knew more about Christianity than most people in my position. I’ve put myself through A LOT in the past couple of decades and I think it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still alive. That being said, I haven’t been in that type of lifestyle for close to ten years now, but still far from perfect! My biggest issue- the way I see it, and what I would like to find guidance on- preferably face to face with someone I can fill in all the details, because there’s LOTS of details, is my situation with my “girlfriend.” We’ve lived together for 9 years and it’s honestly the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. (I’m 48, never married, no kids…crazy huh?) I regrettably used my life for partying and hopping from relationship to relationship…I’ve had a couple of good ones that I regret sabotaging but it is what it is. You can’t change the past, something I’ve learned to deal with. Back to my current relationship- it wasn’t good to begin with but now that I’m seeing things different, it’s got worse. She thinks I’m nuts for wanting to go to church, etc…I mean if she was on board with this new type of lifestyle I’m doing my best to pursue, I’d feel like I should ask her to marry me since we’ve been together for so long. But she isn’t, so what do I do? A. Stay with her and lead by example, even though it makes it so much harder for me to find fellowship with other Christians ? (Not blaming that on her, it’s totally on me but again, it is what it is) or B. Tell her we can’t be together anymore and to figure something out that doesn’t include me. (She doesn’t work, she doesn’t cook, she doesn’t do much except smoke a lot of weed…but she DOES do laundry and kinda keeps the house clean!) Also, I’m from Georgia but we’ve lived here for almost 8 years now. So I’m nowhere near my family and longtime friends…if I were I could absolutely find decent recommendations on a good church. DEFINITELY no cults! I want something biblical. I’ve been listening to a LOT of Paul Washer, RC, Voodie Bauchman, Charles Lawson, and John Barnett! 

I should clarify…she smokes weed all day every day while laying in the bed and watching hours and hours of Dr Who. It’s driving me crazy

Hi @KylewithaL

Here's a good verse:

"But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen." (2 Peter 3.18)

As we grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, what happens is that adjustments happen as we seek to honor Him.

I am reminded of the words of Anne Steele in the 18th century:

'O may these heavenly pages be
My ever dear delight.
And still new beauties may I see,
And still increasing light.

Divine Instructor, gracious Lord,
Be Thou forever near:
Teach me to love Thy sacred word
And view my Savior there.' (Anne Steele, 18th century)

[BibleStudent100]

On 5/15/2024 at 5:14 PM, KylewithaL said:

Back to my current relationship- it wasn’t good to begin with but now that I’m seeing things different, it’s got worse. She thinks I’m nuts for wanting to go to church, etc…I mean if she was on board with this new type of lifestyle I’m doing my best to pursue, I’d feel like I should ask her to marry me since we’ve been together for so long. But she isn’t, so what do I do?

Living together is sinful in God's eyes and so that needs to remediated as soon as possible.  God's blessing stream is like a faucet; the more your conduct and behavior and attitude align with Biblical norms, the more God will bless you.  Thus, "cleaning up" your living arrangements is crucial as step 1.  Perhaps you could ask her to move out and then you could start to date her in a Christian fashion to see if she is the right person to select as a marriage mate, based upon her needed changes.

[KylewithaL]

3 hours ago, BibleStudent100 said:

Living together is sinful in God's eyes and so that needs to remediated as soon as possible.  God's blessing stream is like a faucet; the more your conduct and behavior and attitude align with Biblical norms, the more God will bless you.  Thus, "cleaning up" your living arrangements is crucial as step 1.  Perhaps you could ask her to move out and then you could start to date her in a Christian fashion to see if she is the right person to select as a marriage mate, based upon her needed changes.

She’s already made it clear that she doesn’t want to attend church or change her lifestyle. We do not even have an intimate relationship anymore, and sleep in separate bedrooms. I’m doing my best to help her get on her feet so she can decide what she wants to do and go do it. I don’t feel kicking her out with nowhere to go is the right thing to do. I told her a while back if we were going to continue to be together we needed to get married and go to church. She took the fact I am only willing to marry her because it’s what’s in the Bible as an insult. Which I sorta get…I haven’t asked her to marry me in the many years we were together, but now I feel like I’m being forced to because of my beliefs. It’s a bad situation, I just pray God will show me patience and understanding while I’m still working all this out! 

[farouk]

3 minutes ago, KylewithaL said:

She’s already made it clear that she doesn’t want to attend church or change her lifestyle. We do not even have an intimate relationship anymore, and sleep in separate bedrooms. I’m doing my best to help her get on her feet so she can decide what she wants to do and go do it. I don’t feel kicking her out with nowhere to go is the right thing to do. I told her a while back if we were going to continue to be together we needed to get married and go to church. She took the fact I am only willing to marry her because it’s what’s in the Bible as an insult. Which I sorta get…I haven’t asked her to marry me in the many years we were together, but now I feel like I’m being forced to because of my beliefs. It’s a bad situation, I just pray God will show me patience and understanding while I’m still working all this out! 

Hi @KylewithaL Here's a good verse to remind about the need to meet with other Christians if at all possible:

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Hebrews 10.25)

[KylewithaL]

I will provide more information this evening when I have more time about the other things that I have going on in my life…the good and the bad. I wanted to make clear though, because I feel like I might be coming off as blaming my issues on her. I do not. I take FULL responsibility for the problems of our relationship and the problems in my life. I am probably more to blame than her when it comes to our inability to communicate. But I feel like I’m also the only one trying to improve. Thanks everyone for your input and thoughts, I truly am grateful. God bless.