Talking about going to church ....

[Abigailwc]

I've read the posts regarding the need to go to church. I love to go to church. I love the worshipping time (my favorite), I love to fellowship with others, I am always eager to go. I even participate in home groups.

However, my teenage boys do not want to go. I tried to put them in the youth ministry and when that did not work, I allowed them to sit with me during the service, but to no avail. They seem to hate going to church. They would sit with me and watch their watch every minute. At worshipping time, they reluctantly stand up like everybody else, but they do not sing. The whole church time seems to be rather painful for them.

According to you, should I keep forcing them to come with me to church or should I let them stay at home instead?

[Bolts]

Hi Abigail,

My advice would be to find out from them why they don't want to go and then take it from there.

I had the same problem with my teens. I tried getting them to join in with the church activities. I tried including them by helping them to get to know people in the church. I tried letting them attend twice a month.

It turns out my two wanted to stay home and play the play station. I also found out that they were put off by some whose behavior was less than christian after church. But this gave me the opportunity to explain to them that our salvation is not dependent on the behavior of others. The reality is we will always meet people like this but we must stand strong in what we believe.

[Arthur Durnan]

Maybe there's trouble in the home between spouses? Fix that first;

Maybe there's an unresolved problem between the boy & someone at church? Get it fixed;

Maybe the preaching at the church tends to "hit home"? Pray for (or with) your son;

Maybe you should consider employing some agenda-discipline re computer or play-station usage? Life is more than the WWW or Dragons, Dungeons & the Darth Guy;

Maybe your son has been convicted by the Holy Spirit re some sin in his life? Call out to God for the moving of the Holy Spirit in his precious heart;

Finally, what about bringing church to him? Invite the youth pastor to drop over and/or take your son to lunch.

The Apostle Paul has already admitted to being "the chief of sinners," so the Lord Jesus should have no difficulty in ministering to your son & bringing Him to saving faith. Amen indeed!

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com

[Pax]

It is very difficult for a mother to get her teenage sons to attend church without a good male role model. If dad doesn't go to church than you are fighting and uphill battle. Arthur had some very good advice. Try to fix things at home. Try to get dad to attend church. If there is no dad find another good adult male role model. Youth minister, pastor, friend of the family. Growing up as a teenager, my mother would always attend Church. My father wouldn't, thus I wouldn't go. There is a reason why God called men to be the spiritual head of the household, unfortunantly many men don't do a very good job of this and women must step into this role and it is a very difficult one.

[Smalcald]

Well I don't have any deep advice.

I know I did not like going to Church when I was a teenager, Sunday was for getting home to watch football, I counted the minutes, and they seemed like an eternity.

However I was made to go, it was not an option. I am thankful for that today, I did in fact learn, I did in fact keep some things from those boring Church services, which I call on today. So it may just be the way things are going to be while they are teens. But we plant many seeds, which may not grow until they are older.

I don't see the harm in forcing them to go, unless they are really disruptive or something during the service.

[jamie]

I would probably plant Godly seeds in them, in a crafty way. Try to work God into everyday conversations with them at home. Ask God to give you those little subtle openings that will make a spiritual impact, it doesn't have to be a long sermon.

This way you arent punishing yourself, and you will still be giving them spiritual food.

[Guest yod]

Have you ever tried to pray with them?

It's awkward at first

[Guest jalawade]

I've read the posts regarding the need to go to church. I love to go to church. I love the worshipping time (my favorite), I love to fellowship with others, I am always eager to go. I even participate in home groups.

However, my teenage boys do not want to go. I tried to put them in the youth ministry and when that did not work, I allowed them to sit with me during the service, but to no avail. They seem to hate going to church. They would sit with me and watch their watch every minute. At worshipping time, they reluctantly stand up like everybody else, but they do not sing. The whole church time seems to be rather painful for them.

According to you, should I keep forcing them to come with me to church or should I let them stay at home instead?

I have found from my own experience with my teenager that it just pays to ask. Through asking, I've found that my daughter is very observant. I also learned that the behavior of Christians outside of the church and their interactions with one another is often critical to leading youth, particularly teens to Christ. They are looking for that demonstration of love that adults love to discuss but find more difficult to practice. I would have to say that my children have been the sand paper that smoothed out some rough spots on my ability to demonstrate love. Adolescents ask questions about everything that they have learned. They are trying on values, characteristics, and beliefs in an attempt to decide what they will keep for their life's journey and what they will discard. It is up to us to demonstrate that Christianity positively impacts our lives and the lives of those around us on a daily basis. To me, that is 24 hour worship.

[Abigailwc]

Well, I am presently separated, going to be divorced. Their father never went to church and was always criticizing the Christians, calling them hypocrites. So I can see here a bad influence.

My older son is just focused on himself, his independence, his freedom and is very introvert. He does not open to anybody, male or female. When he comes to church he just stays on his sit, head down, long face, and does not move for the entire service.

My other son complains that it is boring. He definitely refuses to go with the youth groups, and prefers to come and sit with me. He stands up during worshipping time but does not sing. He claims that whatever the pastor is preaching, that he knew it already. It seems that for him church is just yet another adult telling him what to do, giving him additional sets of rules and regulations.

I talked to them, but it seems many times like if I'm talking to a wall. They are always right, the adults are always wrong.

Also, I am praying for them. It is obvious that they need a change of heart and only God can do that.

Thanks all for your advice.

[Bolts]

Hi Abagail,

Family christian counselling should be available through your church. It really helped me through my divorce. It also restored my daughters confidence and helped her to understand things a lot better. I'm sorry about your divorce proceedings, I know its not easy.

You also need to take time out to pamper yourself - you deserve it.