"Friendship"....Help me....Please!

[DaughterofKing]

I might be the unluckiest person when it comes to "friends". one by one I had to remove people out of my life because of one reason or another. Well I woke up one day and I was alone. So I decided to myself, I hate being alone, I must be more forgiving and lenient with others and I began re-contacting old "friends". But once again, I am wanting to just cut the cords and be alone again.

For example, I e-mailed one friend who has not e-mailed me back (a good while has passed). I met another friend who kind of acted like she was meeting me out of charity and kind of made me feel like I can call her if I need her but she really never calls me. And last but not least, I e-mailed another friend again and again and still no response from him except one e-mail with two words in it...I nearly wrote him yet another e-mail but I stopped myself.

So i am at the point where I just want to be honest with myself and say , Ok, I dont have any friends. Admit that to myself, cut these people out of my life that are making me feel angry and bad and like a charity case, and just accept being alone and maybe even make a real friend someday if im lucky or just have no friends at all.

What do you guys think? What should I do? Help me please?

Edited December 29, 2005 by DaughterofKing

[Rania]

Hhmmm....that's a tough one. I feel for you.

There's a couple of things I would look at.

1) When you talk with your friends do you spend all of the time talking about yourself and your "situations" or do you attempt to let the other person talk about their life. (without saying "Oh yeah, that happened to me" and then going into your own story.)

By the way.....I'm guilty of this......especially lately, but I have a very tolerant friend that puts up with me.

2) Does your conversation weigh people down either by constantly talking about the same thing OR, the topic being too heavy for some?

3) Do you have any friends that are not online friends?

[chicagoburbite]

excellent points.. and ones I was going to make lol

Seriously, relationships are wonderful, but they are about giving

as much as gaining. And, the do take work.

Can you ask one person to be brutally honest with you over coffee sometime? and then pray about it afterwards

God bless you

Jenni'

[DaughterofKing]

Hhmmm....that's a tough one. I feel for you.

There's a couple of things I would look at.

1) When you talk with your friends do you spend all of the time talking about yourself and your "situations" or do you attempt to let the other person talk about their life. (without saying "Oh yeah, that happened to me" and then going into your own story.)

By the way.....I'm guilty of this......especially lately, but I have a very tolerant friend that puts up with me.

2) Does your conversation weigh people down either by constantly talking about the same thing OR, the topic being too heavy for some?

3) Do you have any friends that are not online friends?

im not sure about 1 or 2 but of course i am not talking about on-line friends! durrr!!!!!!!

[Rania]

im not sure about 1 or 2 but of course i am not talking about on-line friends! durrr!!!!!!!

You eluded to not receiving email replies so that is why I asked. Email is not the way I communicate with my friends outside of the web unless it's asking a simple question.

That is why I asked.

[Challenger]

Hmmm. . .all of this brings to mind that old adage: "If you want to have a friend, you need to be a friend.

It's difficult. It can mean taking a chance on being rejected. But you don't know until you try. That can be the hardest part of all. . .giving someone a chance.