Need Advice on dealing w/ parents

[KatieK]

Hey. I'm 14. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour 2 years ago. I'm struggling with this honoring/obeying my parents thing in my 2 years of real living I've never dealt with it even if I knew it was sin. I am hoping you all will skip the 'Honor your Parents you sinful rebel teens' sermon that I most have heard in various forms a hundred times. I've already got to the point that I accept I have to honor them. What I need is practical advice on how to deal with my Non-Christian, Hypocrite, Worldly, Parents while still honoring the Lord and without exploding. But let me explain a little more.

First of all if you don't know them by heart here are the commands(NIV):

Ephesians 6 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"

[Fiosh]

Hey. I'm 14. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour 2 years ago. I'm struggling with this honoring/obeying my parents thing in my 2 years of real living I've never dealt with it even if I knew it was sin. I am hoping you all will skip the 'Honor your Parents you sinful rebel teens' sermon that I most have heard in various forms a hundred times. I've already got to the point that I accept I have to honor them. What I need is practical advice on how to deal with my Non-Christian, Hypocrite, Worldly, Parents while still honoring the Lord and without exploding. But let me explain a little more.

First of all if you don't know them by heart here are the commands(NIV):

Ephesians 6 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"

[Guest kelly parker]

Wow, Katie, you have a challenge in your hands. Remember that the Lord made them in his image too. You have the ability to be a witness to them. They could turn around and see the light of God's truth through you. But they can't when you show disrespect in your speech or disobedience. Now, when you don't abide by their SUGGESTION to get involved in the school clubs, etc, and you continue in church activities, that's not disobeying. As long as you abide in Jesus and obey your parents with RESPECTFUL SPEECH, I think you are in line with the Word. I will remember you in my prayers.

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

Hi Katie,

I am happy you love our Lord and Saviour so very much!

I think I can understand how you are feeling. That must be really difficult and very upsetting for you to deal with.

I would like to suggest a book that you and your parents could read that would put end to questionability and reliability of the Bible and Jesus and a great deal of related issues.

Josh McDowel wrote The New Evidence That Demands a Verdict. Hope you will check this book out, it really covers everything ! Perhaps even strengthen your parents faith.

Honoring them in any way that does not conflict with your faith. Helping them and loving them. Just being family together and hopefully diaglogue can get better between all of you. Parents do have a say with whom we do hang out with at this age and repecting that is important. Perhaps you will be able to encourage your parents in the long run by keeping your faith strong. Showing Godly love to them in all you can. This situation may change and God can change it. So, might be better not to look at is like possibly permanenet...but as a continuing walk to see how you might help them also.

We can't change our situation sometimes, we can change how we react in it and to it. As we change everyone around us must also shift. Keeping strong and growing in the fruit of the Spirit in loving kindness to your parents will help you and them.

I hope you have fellowship in church and with other believers to keep strong and not give up -ever.

We are here to love and not to judge, I don't mean you cannot dicern, just not judge. That is for God Alone.

Please let your heart be love to your parents who no doubt love you.

God can fill your heart with all the love and strength you will need.

blessings,

elkie

[mike2]

Hey. I'm 14. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour 2 years ago. I'm struggling with this honoring/obeying my parents thing in my 2 years of real living I've never dealt with it even if I knew it was sin. I am hoping you all will skip the 'Honor your Parents you sinful rebel teens' sermon that I most have heard in various forms a hundred times. I've already got to the point that I accept I have to honor them. What I need is practical advice on how to deal with my Non-Christian, Hypocrite, Worldly, Parents while still honoring the Lord and without exploding. But let me explain a little more.

First of all if you don't know them by heart here are the commands(NIV):

Ephesians 6 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"

[poetically_taken]

Hey I am 15 and I understand where you are comin from (my parents are like that too). The best thing I've come up with so far is to love them and show that. Almost like how we honor and obey God becuase we love Him but do it for your parents too. Does that make any sense? It hasn't made it any easier for me but it makes sure that I respect them (for the most part). Also ,showing His love can often times point people toward Christ better than our words can. I don't know that's the best I have to offer. Good luck, I'll keep ya in my prayers.

[Remnant]

sounds like a wise plan. KatieK. I only can echo what is being said. Obey your parents as far it concerns with their rules and regulation, like curfew and chores..punishment, but if the request tells you go against what the Lord says, you need stand firm. thats when you need to remember to pray the most and allow God to vindicate you and your case. He hears you and loves you. Trust that his word is able to keep you from falling.

[Kabowd]

As a teenager myself, I understand the struggle with obedience. For years I have whined and complained about how hard it is to obey (it's still not easy). But here's a few things I've learned that might help you as they've helped me.

1. Do it as unto the Lord. God does not take authority lightly, nor does He take disobedience to authority lightly. He considers it as obedience to Him. It's a reflection of your love and devotion to Him, ultimately. So when the person in authority over you seems undeserving of your obedience, remember that your devotion is first and foremost to God, and that you do it for Him.

2. Obedience and honoring starts in the heart. I have to be honest, you seem to have an attitude problem. It's understandable because your parents sound frustrating, but at the same time...until your heart changes towards them, you'll still be rebelling in your heart (even if you're outwardly obeying). So set your heart on loving them, showing them kindness, not talking back, not talking bad about them or disrespecting them. Don't allow yourself to complain about them to others, but speak highly of them. Find things you can praise them for. Ask God to give you love for them. Obedience flows from love.

3. Kindness leads to repentance. Did you know that by showing your parents kindness and obeying them, God could break their hearts and show them where they are wrong? Read 1 Peter 3:1. It says that an obedient wife can lead a lost husband to the Lord. Thus, if you set your mind on showing your parents what a real Christian looks like, it's very possible that they will be persuaded to believe. On the flip side, this also makes sense why satan wants to keep you frustrated with your parents. If you rebel against them, it only gives them more reason to resist what you believe in. In which case, satan wins.

4. God sees what's happening, and He'll hold them accountable. Trust that God knows what's going on in your family, and He will take care of your parents' hearts. If they are being unjust and unkind, He will take care of it. It isn't your job. People who hold authority over others are in a position of great responsibility. God does not let them get away with abusing that.

5. Don't disobey them unless they command you to do something against Scripture. Telling you not to hang around druggies, or not to spend as much time at church are not good reasons to disobey. Have they told you to murder? To steal? I'm assuming they probably haven't. Thus, you are required to obey...even when they seem unreasonable. David honored Saul (even though he was ungodly and tried to kill him), simply because God had Saul in a position of authority and David honored that.

6. Obey immediately and without questioning. This is the one I have the hardest time with. But if we look at Abraham's example, when God told him to offer up his son, Abraham didn't question God, he didn't take his time, and he didn't beg and plead with God to change His mind. The Scripture says he got up early and did what God had asked. You might say "well yeah, but that was God asking", this would go back to my point #1. God placed you in the family you are in, your parents are your authority, and when they ask you to do something...do it as if it's God who asked you to do it. Don't argue, don't talk back, don't try to negotiate (this is what I'm TERRIBLE at), just agree to do it. Say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am" and show them that you're willing to trust their decisions.

Please understand, I know this is hard. Gah, boy do I know this is hard. I struggle with these things myself. But I've learned (the hard way) that I'm much better off if I just do what I'm supposed to do. When I'm obeying, God takes care of everything else. Plus, everytime I mess up I get in huge trouble..lol. I never get away with ANYTHING. All I know is that when it all boils down, there are really very few reasons that are good reasons to disobey. 98% of the time, it's better to just obey (even if it seems unreasonable). Just remember that God sees, He'll take care of it all.

Hope this helps!

~Tess

[Fiosh]

It hasn't made it any easier for me but it makes sure that I respect them (for the most part). Also ,showing His love can often times point people toward Christ better than our words can.

Good advice, pt!

[MK202002]

Paintence and prayer. Lots of people are in this situation.