Need Advice on dealing w/ parents

[KatieK]

ok so I have to fix my attitude. It's pretty ingrained in my mind. This is going to be a very long road. Thanks everyone. This should help some. I still don't know how i'll get myself to do it but at least I've a better idea what I'm working on. Tess, thanks those where some great (a wee bit scary) but great points that I wouldn't have come up with myself. Thanks Kelly and Poetically taken 4 your prayers. I've been trying earlier today. I think I'm starting to pity them a little. But they make this hard when they act all self righteous and start poking my during the sermon to listen up when they normally fall asleep.

Wait I'm not supposed to say that. Oh Lord Help Me! I really need your help to honor them. Please let me see them in your eyes and love them as you do. I'm sorry that I haven't obeyed them or you. Please Help me Jesus! Amen

-Katie

[Guest LadyC]

katie, i notice you yourself quoted a verse in ephesians 6, regarding honoring one's parents. i'm not encouraging you to EVER be disrespectful to your parents, but please read a little more of that passage... it may give you comfort to know that following the command to honor our parents, is the command to your parents not to exhasperate you, or provoke you to anger, but to raise you according to biblical principal.

6:1

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.

6:2

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

6:3

That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

6:4

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

6:5

Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;

[KatieK]

Thanks LadyC,

but mom and dad (not judgeing just saying) could care less what God has got to say. this verse isn't comforting but angering because I feel kinda cheated in this deal. I have to honor them but they can do as they please. but then again I'm only held to this because I know Jesus Christ personally. My future is secure theirs isn't even if it seems easier for them right now. But then again they are on their own while I'm never alone and have constant help getting through everything. Forgive my thinking while typing. Wow the Lord is working on me. Maybe pitying them will be easier than i thought. Thanks everyone.

[poetically_taken]

Thanks LadyC,

but mom and dad (not judgeing just saying) could care less what God has got to say. this verse isn't comforting but angering because I feel kinda cheated in this deal. I have to honor them but they can do as they please. but then again I'm only held to this because I know Jesus Christ personally. My future is secure theirs isn't even if it seems easier for them right now. But then again they are on their own while I'm never alone and have constant help getting through everything. Forgive my thinking while typing. Wow the Lord is working on me. Maybe pitying them will be easier than i thought. Thanks everyone.

Well, I am not sure that ephesians 6 says to pity them... like it's ok to pity them, I pity my family all the time becuase they haveno idea what they are missing out on, no idea at all. What I am afraid of is that through pitying them (I at least) might give the tendency to think you're better than them in some way, like you have something they don't. PLus, by focusing on how much you pity them might take your eyes off the real goal which is to respect them. Your parents have never been alone there is no where they can run to hide from the Lord, He has been right there by their sides the whole time. Just be careful of that, cuz I don't know if it'll affect you but it did me and I just wanted to like warn you or something like that. I don't know, I guess I was kind of thinking out loud when I posted too. Sorry 'bout that.

[Fiosh]

Thanks LadyC,

but mom and dad (not judgeing just saying) could care less what God has got to say. this verse isn't comforting but angering because I feel kinda cheated in this deal. I have to honor them but they can do as they please. but then again I'm only held to this because I know Jesus Christ personally. My future is secure theirs isn't even if it seems easier for them right now. But then again they are on their own while I'm never alone and have constant help getting through everything. Forgive my thinking while typing. Wow the Lord is working on me. Maybe pitying them will be easier than i thought. Thanks everyone.

Hi Katie,

Try this. Take a deep breath, try to step back a bit from your situation.

Now take a deep look at your Mom. When she is alone, do you think she likes who she is? Is she happy?

How about Dad. When it's just him, when he looks in the mirror, is he content with the man he is? Is he happy?

Katie, when it's just you and God, do you like who you are? Are you happy in that place, when you are with Him?

I have lots of work to do on myself, Katie. But right now, I'm alone (my husband is at work & I have off). I'm listening to Christian music and talking to you.

I like who I am. I'm at peace with God. Yeah, I struggle daily with sin and I could do alot better. But I know His love and compassion.

The "me" I present to the world is real. As they say, "warts an' all".

I am honest about what I believe. I truly love and care about people. I recognize and admit my faults.

I don't have lots of money. But I trust God to provide for me what I need.

I like my life because I am walking in His will.

That's the most important thing.

You can take whatever the world, or your parents, dish out, if you are walking in His will. Every act done for Him is an act of worship.

God bless you, Katie. Hang in there. It WILL get better.

Peace,

Fiosh

[Catsmeow]

I can't help but be deeply moved by young Katie's convictions and zeal for the Lord Jesus Christ. It's rare to find a youngster at this age to be so committed and loyal to the Lord Jesus.

It's true we must honor our parents but I know from experience that can be hard, especially if we have parents who act in a way that's dishonorable.

Katie, please be strong and pray for Mom and Dad. YOU take the moral high road and do the right thing: God will honor that and bless you, honey.

[Guest LadyC]

catsmeow is right... not only will it please God to take the high road and honor your parents, but think about it this way... down the line somewhere, your mom or dad may recognize that it is only because of God that you had the grace to withstand their behaviour... and it may be the greatest witness they've ever had. i remember a song once that had a line in it that said "be the Bible that they never read" or something like that... in other words, be a living witness, be an example to them... they'll see Christ in you... and maybe one day they will submit themselves to God as a result.

[KatieK]

I see your point Poetically taken. Pity was bad word choice on my part. I am more trying to see them as I see the rest of the lost. have the same compassion for them that I have for my atheist druggie friends instead of being angry that they haven't accepted Christ. pity isn't really the bet word. But i am definitely in danger of looking down on them already do in many ways. I've got a problem about being prideful. Thanks for the warning I needed that. I guess I figured I at least needed to have compassion for them before I could respect them even if that sounds wierd. The point about being alone makes sense to. so they aren't really alone but if they ignore the Lord as they do it's kinda like being alone in their minds. They can't benefit from the Lord always being their so as far as they can see he might as well not be. That sounds harsh but I really don't know how to say this. I really can't see mom and dad thinking anything of my honoring them except 'finally being treated as i deserve. this is the way it should have always been. she must've finally grown up.' but the Lord works in wierd ways somethings. I don't get it most of the time but thats ok. Thanks again

Katie

[nebula]

(((((((Katie K)))))))

I know how hard it can be. Although my case wasn't as sever, I had to deal with a father who was verbally abusive and both parents who were less zealous for the Lord than I was. It was (and still is) tough (even though I'm an adult now).

Using what I learned, this would be my input:

* Pray for your parents - and pray for yourself with regards to your parents.

I'm sure you do, but be focused and consistent with this. In the morning, pour out your heart to the Lord - just as you did to us. Share with him how you feel. And then be still before Him and give Him time to minister to your heart. There are times I have just cried out, "Lord, I hurt!" and waited for Him; I could feel the emotion being released then.

Ask the Lord for a pure heart, day by day.

At night, intercede for your parents' salvation. If there is betterness and anger in your heart, confess this to the Lord, and confess your willingness to forgive and ask Him for His help to release this. You'll probably have to do this every day. The more you do this, you will find the easier it will become to actually feel like you have forgiven your parents. It's a process, so don't feel discouraged!

Keep repeating this morning and evening prayer vigil. Remember, you are fighting for their souls!

* Honor and obedience.

Separate the wishes, desires and commands of your parents into two categories: 1) Those that go against your convictions in Christ & 2) Those that don't.

As much as you can, obey and honor your parents in all things with regards to list #2.

As for list #1 - remember that the Apostle Paul taught people to obey the governing authorities, yet he had to disobey them with regards to preaching the Gospel. In Acts, there is a place where he even repented of speaking against the High Priest (the office kept getting shifted in those days, so he didn't know he had spoken against the High Priest when he did.) But he found another way around his troubles.

The point here - sharing with us about your struggles asking for help is not neccessarily speaking against your parents - it's giving us an assessment. It's only wrong if you begin to slander them (i.e. harsh words) in the process.

"Obeying God rather than man" is completely applicable here. Obey where it doesn't violate your faith. Obey God (ie. reading Bible) where it does. Guard against rebelling for rebellion sake - just keep pursuing the Lord.

Remember Daniel - he was ordered not to pray, and the first thing He did was to pray about what he was to do about the order! And God protected him in the end.

I hope that helps!

[st. Worm]

Katie,

I do not mean to sound critical of you but perhaps some important self-examination would be helpful at this point. I don't know you but your tone almost sounds prideful as you compare yourself to your parents. Further the command to honor your parents is not contingent on them being believers. They are to be honored regardless. Arguing with them about biblical truth in a disrespectful way will not help at all. You need to exhibit love, patience and other fruits of the Spirit rather than combativeness. Also I would agree with your parents if indeed you are allowing an obsession with "Christian books" to completely dominate your life at the expense of your studies.

The life of the Christian is not always getting your way or always doing what you want. Your compliance without complaint as Christ did in obedience to His Father will demonstrate more to your parents about your faith than constantly being in conflict with them. Because of how you are handling things, they may view your faith as a threat more than a blessing.

blessings to you,

SW