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Posted

Hello everyone. I am Lily00 and this is my first post here! I just figured I should just go ahead and get it out since I know it is coming sooner or later. I am nineteen years old and by the grace of God, I am still alive! I am getting through one day at a time but support would really be nice. I guess I haven't been depending on God as much as I should. About 4 years ago I had memories come back to me where I was molested when I was young ( I really don't know what is allowed here so please tell me if I need to edit this). Not wanting to believe it, I tried to ignore the feelings that were there and I just let work and school just numb out my feelings. :D It is true though when the Bible says, "You reap what you sow..." There comes a time when you can't numb something like that out any longer... in a desperate attempt, I stooped to self injury rather then turning to God and letting Him heal my hurting heart... It happened about a year ago and now it is so hard to stop... I learned a little to late. It has left me confused, beaten up, and with feelings of degredation and sorrow. I tried to go to therapy at school when I finally broke down and told my Mom, but the therapist graduated. I had recently went to one counseling session about 10 hours long... but it ended up being fake and more hurting then it actually helped ( I really can't go into it)... Finally I went to my "pastor" at church and though our old pastor resigned and we are recently trying to find a new pastor (financially unstable) the church wanted to help... He found me a christian counselor, she is really nice, and now I am beginning to slowly feel better about myself. I still need your prayers though. If anyone has a similar problem I would like to hear about it. I just feel so alone at times, too weak to stop or even get up... I need to build up my support system but I have always been quite a loner also and with more memories coming back... Does anyone understand this? How do you'll keep focused? God is so good and I just know He is going to break me out of my shell and help me through this. My favorite verse is Phillippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Every word is true and I have recited it a lot in past times when I have thought the wrong things. When I still do. I just need an attitude adjustment I guess. Thanks for listening. Lily00 :D Confusion is just a little hard I guess.

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Posted

We will have prayer for you, little Sister......

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Posted

I don't know firsthand what you are dealing with. I have never suffered molestation but I do deal with panic disorder and depression. Why do we have to endure so much hardship in this life? I don't know but I do know that Christ died on the Cross so that we may have eternal life. It is so true that All things work together for those that love the Lord. He has a plan for your life and "the good work He started in you He will see to completion". Make today the first day of the rest of your earthly life. Give it all to the Father, Cast your cares upon Him for He careth for YOU! :D

Christian therapy is great! I myself attend a weekly session and not only has it helped me cope with my disorder but I have grown so much closer to Christ.

I will be praying for you and I know that God will see you through.

"Come unto Me all who are weary and I will give you rest"

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Posted

i'm pretty sure i know who you are ( :blink: from fallowing your fruits of the spirit studies). your growth has been big. you are so courageously going forward and are being built so strong. i know you worry about 'strong'... but you are leaning on the one who is truelly strong for us. :noidea:

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Posted (edited)
i'm pretty sure i know who you are ( :thumbsup: from fallowing your fruits of the spirit studies). your growth has been big. you are so courageously going forward and are being built so strong. i know you worry about 'strong'... but you are leaning on the one who is truelly strong for us. :thumbsup:
Oh yeh!!!!! Hi, I am so happy there is someone I know here! How cool!!! I can't wait to see the new features! :thumbsup: Really though, I am glad things are looking better with this new christian therapy. It is just the more I say it, the less scarey it sounds and the easier it is to get through it. With that 10 hour session though, it just confused me more then I was before. I know I sound a little morbid when I talk about it but I really find it a morbid thing. It seems so much easier to write then it is to say. How are you doing? I am still praying for everyone whether it is up or not. ;) Lily00 :24::24: p.s. Really though, it is hard but I am getting through it. Confusion and SI are the main things I am working through but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! (Can't wait to share the new spiritual fruit!!!) Edited by lily00

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Posted

Hey Lily,

Im glad to hear that you are getting through what you have suffered, I am a young Christian from the UK, and I have found talking about problems and seeking help really clears things up in your mind, especially when you seek help from the LORD Jesus.

I think sharing faith and getting help is so important that I have started a website with forum for that purpose. Please come and join us, its a site for everyone in a literal sense where you can add your own testimonies, prayer requests, views etc etc. Here is the site: http://www.themeaningoflife.bravehost.com - the fantastic people who have joined me on the site are a very friendly, encouraging and worthwhile bunch.

Hope you feel like joining in and any of your friends - that goes for everyone else aswel.

I am just so glad God has enabled me to help others and myself through this medium and I honestly believe He is leading me to people like yourself so that we can share and grow together in a personal, loving, online environment.

Daniel :thumbsup:


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Posted

i'm pretty sure i know who you are ( :thumbsup: from fallowing your fruits of the spirit studies). your growth has been big. you are so courageously going forward and are being built so strong. i know you worry about 'strong'... but you are leaning on the one who is truelly strong for us. :thumbsup:

Oh yeh!!!!! Hi, I am so happy there is someone I know here! How cool!!! I can't wait to see the new features! :thumbsup: Really though, I am glad things are looking better with this new christian therapy. It is just the more I say it, the less scarey it sounds and the easier it is to get through it. With that 10 hour session though, it just confused me more then I was before. I know I sound a little morbid when I talk about it but I really find it a morbid thing. It seems so much easier to write then it is to say. How are you doing? I am still praying for everyone whether it is up or not. :P Lily00 :24:;) p.s. Really though, it is hard but I am getting through it. Confusion and SI are the main things I am working through but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger! (Can't wait to share the new spiritual fruit!!!)

osbsevation/therepy is how they see best to help you. it's not so bad once you start to feel the value of it. don't be shy about your post. your feelings, even re-accurring ones are important. before you realize it, you'll be settled into a routine with therepy.

i still have seen some real growth from you. you can't imagine spiritual growth. it shines through all your words. even your discouraging moments can't hide your growth. :24:


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Posted

Thanks, all of you!!!! (It is back up and part 8 is here)! I will check out what you'll said. Thanks a lot for being here! It is a rough time but God put us all together for a reason! Maybe I should put the fruits here also! Lily00 :thumbsup:


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Posted

lily

i am not a therapist but i do feel the right one can be helpful ...because why?

because the way they talk to you and help you to see your worth as person....sometimes this is so hard for us to see

dont blame yourself lily for what happened then or since then in your life....because you were molested ....you probably have done things in the last few years that brought you pain and even things that have made you feel confused and worthless of a person...

i can tell you are hurting but remember God has already forgiven you even for things you may have done just yesterday...

so dont you let the devil beat you up like that....he is a liar and the father of lies......

God does see and understand,

He loves you ....and He does understand....

stay encouraged...lily

and we all love you too and are routing for you.... :21::wub:

God can heal your emotional scars,,,

much love and prayers are with you

melissa


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Posted

Hi Lily, ;)

I just want to share with you that you are not alone. When I was younger, it happened to me also. I experienced the shame and fear and confusion and guilt and anger and depression and loathing. I acted out and was very self destructive. It was not the only reason I was in that way, but it contributed to it.

I am free from it now, thanks to the Lord Jesus, amen. He offered me His forgiveness, and gave me understanding to forgive others to move forward to rest in His peace. Sometimes this is difficult, but believe me, it is worth it. Keep trusting in the Heavenly Father...He will completely heal your heart for you and bring you His peace as He takes you out from there. He loves you with a true love that He will pour out on and through you that will never fail you, no matter what. It is beautiful. Meditate on His Word and be prayerful, for He will show you His way. Listen and be open to His leadings. Follow Him. Be blessed. I will be in prayer for you...PM anytime, if you like. It sounds like He is doing a mighty work in you, now. I am encouraged just to hear of it. Praise God...

Rev 21:3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them,

Rev 21:4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."

Rev 21:5 And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He *said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."

Rev 21:6 Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.

Rev 21:7 "He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. "

His promise to the overcomers. :wub:

The Lord richly Bless You, ;)

Mrs. SE

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