Age Difference In A Dating Relationship

[Guest The Chief]

Uneducated? Not quite.

True? Every line of it.....

[chicagoburbite]

This alone is enough of a reason to really think hard about what they're doing, especially when older people who have been around the block a few times tell them of the dangers.

AMEN, sis. I'm 40, and when I married at 22, i really thought I knew it all, thought I was so mature. I mean.. i REALLY believed it!!

My husband and I both battle with bouts of depression, and it makes things so difficult. A friend who was bi-polar committed suicide at 49 years old. She couldn't stand the stress any more.

[Leonard]

In the final analysis silly persons will do what they want to do. No amount of Scripture, logic, reason, or statistics will make ANY difference.

Young lady, EVERY libidinous 41 year old man would like to bed a nubile 17 year old girl! And because they have many years of experience, they KNOW HOW TO SEDUCE YOU!

If I was her dad, I'd have the police on this man in about two shakes of lamb's tail. Ah! To heck with the police: You would already be so scared of me, you'd have moved to another state and left no forwarding address.

Only your mental disorder may mitigate a little, and cause us to err on the side of compassion, but buddy: Don't make some 17 year old kid your 4th mistake.

Young lady; learn to THINK!

[chicagoburbite]

Your argument from Biblical marriages is, again, about a much different culture and time.

EXACTLY. Many children died at birth, shortly after birth, they had to procreate with a young woman so she could handle many many pregnancies.

[chicagoburbite]

Notice how none of the valid points have been addressed?

Maybe the Lord has convicted this man, and his victom.

[Guest Malaka]

Hey Guys...

I would encourage us all to be a little more loving in our responses to one another...remember, we're Ambassadors for Christ...

What concerns me most, is not the age difference...but the age of the young lady. I married at the age of 19, now at 32-ish it is very clear that although the world deemed me an adult, I wasn't really a grown woman until around 25 (as is the case with most of us...although not all are ready to admit it). That's when who I am today, began to shine through. Now don't get me wrong, I was an extremely mature and old 19 year old...I had quite a few life experiences under belt that caused me to surpass my chronological peers...but even as mature as I was, I was not done growing, mentally and spiritually. At 19, I was no where close to being the woman God had for me to be. Indianagirl...I would encourage you to read Proverbs 31...over and over again...and then seek the Lord, and ask him that if it be His will, that He will help pour into you all that you need to become the Godly woman He means for you to be. I'll see if I can find some other good Bible studies for single women in relationships or those who are soon to be married.

Also, this relationship has drawn both of you into sin..."little white lies" are still lies...whether you feel you have a reason or not...if you believe that you are Spirit led in this relationship, than you should never lie about it...not on a forum and most certainly not to parents. If this relationship is truly the will of God, and you seek him in all you do than it will prosper. But if it's God's will, and you shroud it with lies and deceit, you're not trusting him.

Be faithful, be patient, get in your Word...and be prayerful. Marriage is a great responsibility...for both a man and a woman. It's important to understand what God expects of you in your marriage, before you make the commitment. Worldly maturity is not the same as Spiritual maturity...and you are right...it's not all about age. It's about keeping your relationship right and pleasing to the Lord. You can't do that in the flesh...and by that I mean...being deceitful, defending your position in an argumentative way, and putting the focus on the building of the "relationship". If you believe that your Love is true...and spirit led...than you both should be busy preparing yourselves through the Word (independently)...and eventually when she comes of age...in accordance with the law of the land...pastoral counseling. Right now...Indianagirl, your husband is the Lord...and you should be spending your time building that relationship...God will build your relationship with this Man...not you. And likewise, Jester...strengthen your relationship with the Lord...so that He may prepare you to lead your household as the Godly-head He means for you to be....and he will strengthen you relationship with this young lady if it's in His will.

I'll be in prayer for both of you...God Bless

[chicagoburbite]

So what? If I've (edited by Moderator) does that forbid me from marrying too?

(edited by Moderator) doesn't ruin anyone else's life!!! It's only an issue between you and God.

Even if it WAS his fault, why should he continue to be bound by past failures?

Because the risk this time could hurt many many lives. Including his own daughter's.

[chicagoburbite]

Ok, exactly what, please tell me, WHAT did either of these people say that gives you the right to classify her as a "victim".

She is still a very young woman, unable to make wise decisions. This man has used his age to gain access to this girl's mind. Any girl at that age can be told the right things and she's hooked. That makes her a victim.

Doctors have proven we don't stop growing and developing until we are 25. This girl is 8 years younger than that!

I see you are 24. Can you imagine your "wife" just being born this year?

[Avodah]

In the final analysis silly persons will do what they want to do. No amount of Scripture, logic, reason, or statistics will make ANY difference.

Young lady, EVERY libidinous 41 year old man would like to bed a nubile 17 year old girl! And because they have many years of experience, they KNOW HOW TO SEDUCE YOU!

If I was her dad, I'd have the police on this man in about two shakes of lamb's tail. Ah! To heck with the police: You would already be so scared of me, you'd have moved to another state and left no forwarding address.

Only your mental disorder may mitigate a little, and cause us to err on the side of compassion, but buddy: Don't make some 17 year old kid your 4th mistake.

Young lady; learn to THINK!

Excellent!

What makes you think these people are Christians? The man has had 3 failed marriages

Failed marriages does not make one a heathen. Obviously the man made bad choices and I am sure he is not totally innocent but that most definatly does not mean he is not a christian. Besides, people do change.

I am one who doesn't believe age should be an issue but I would never have let a man that age get close to my daughter when she was 17. It sounds to me like she needs a father figure in her life and that was taken advantage of.

[chicagoburbite]

Ok, so now we appeal to ignorance.

"Ignorance" and "lack of wisdom" have 2 different meanings. Don't put words in my mouth.

So are women more foolish since the last century then?

many unhappy women were told they had to marry the man with the most cows. Even in that case the parents arranged it and approved of the marriage. She herself admitted they did NOT approve of their relationship. Remember the 10 commandments? Honor thy mother and father? I think God gives us that command due to the wisdom of the parents.

If this young woman meets the reqirements of proverbs 31,

WRONG. she is to obey her mother and father.

Also, what is wrong with a man being a "father figure" to his wife?

You're kidding, right?

isn't marriage a symbol of the relationship we have with Christ?

Yup.. you said the right word SYMBOL. Used by God as an annalogy. Not to literally be

married which means to become 1 flesh.

What would you say if it was a 18 year old man, and a 42 year old woman?

In this case, she's 17. But i would have the same exact words to say to both of them as I do these 2 people.

Edited February 16, 2006 by chicagoburbite