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Posted

One more thing -

When you cry out to the Lord with your struggles, have you ever danced them out?

:b:


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Posted

lol... no i don't think i ever did! i don't think i'll talk to her bout this ... i have a feeling she'd think it was really silly... and think i was really dumb... or she'd be offended and get mad at me.... i don't think that i'll risk it! :noidea: thanks ne way tho!


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Posted

oh... and i think i might just try that dancing thing!!! :noidea:


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Posted
um... i guess i'm kinda afraid of competing against her... idk... i really just don't know... it's prolly a little of all of those things... i really need to work on it!! thanx for the advice! ~NESS

One way to find out is to sit down and write down how you felt and what came just before that each time you've noticed yourself feeling this way. These triggers will help you dtermine exactly WHAT you are jealous and or scared of.

If you really can't figure it out, work on setting and reaching your goals and teach yourself to be focused on that in relation to dance. Then focus on the rest of your friendship with her when you are around her.

Write down what you like about her, why you value her friendship and what important part she plays in your life, then think about the things that you know she carries in the way of burdens and spend time in prayer for them. Seeing her as a whole person with weaknesses and burdens like the rest of us might make it easier to see her the way you used to when you became friends.

And of course pray that God would reveal the source of the problem and anything which needs to be done inside to fix it, confess whatever the real sin is, pray for whatever strength it is you need, and pray that you can become a servant both to Him and to your friendship. Keep a tender heart and whatever you do...DON"T push her away. This was put here to help you learn something important abou you at the least and possibly to help her in some way as well....


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Posted

There's no need to be jealous of her - because the only thing she has 'above' you are material things which don't matter in the end. The things that really matter are immaterial...you may not be rich in material things but you CAN be rich spiritually, or in the friends you have, or good family. The most precious thing to me on this Earth is my friends, and that isn't something you can buy with money!

Just concentrate on your own life, and try your hardest :noidea:. Become rich in many other ways, and you will find happiness and contentment with what you have. :24:


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Posted
lol... no i don't think i ever did! i don't think i'll talk to her bout this ... i have a feeling she'd think it was really silly... and think i was really dumb... or she'd be offended and get mad at me.... i don't think that i'll risk it! :noidea: thanks ne way tho!

Recently, my friend of over 5 yrs had a discussion. It wasn't one of those heavy discussions it first, then we started talking about just life in general and how things can be "tough" for people who don't look like they are having a hard time. And I asked her why she didn't live at home, cause her parents wanted her to while she was at college and I figured it would be cheaper for her. She told me. Her home I guess is a bad place to be, I'll respect her privacy enough not to reveal details, but it's worse than my homelife had been. I kinda laughed and said "well I guess I had that wrong, I'd always wanted your dad to adopt me so he could pay for my financial problems like he does yours." Her eyballs got really wide. She said "I always admired you, you're so independent. Even when you're down to fifty cents and it's not payday yet, you've never gotten any help. I wish I could say that." It was kinda wierd. We both knew what we both had jokingly said. I said, this calls for a drink, and went to get sodas. We hugged and that was the end of it.

perhaps one day you will have a similar opportunity. It doesn't have to be heavy, and is probably best not to be.


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Posted
guys... i don't know what's wrong with me!!! one of my best friends just got moved up into my dance class from the level below me... and i should be super excited... right? wrong! i don't why... but i'm kinda angry... and upset... cuz first of all... her mom tries to push my friend to be better in everything... and tries to get her in classes she shouldn't be in... and sometimes that gets on my nerves cuz i don't get those priveleges ... ya know? my friend is also pretty rich... she has a huge house... and has pool... and now they're rippin down the pool to get a better one... and she has her own dance mirror... they have about 200 dvd's... but have only watched about 1/2 of them... they have 5 t.v's (they only have 4 people in their family!)... and i could go on and on!!! idk guys.... i think i'm having a problem w/ jealousy... and i asked God for wisdom... cuz the bible says that when we face trials we can ask God for wisdom and He'll give it to us... but i'm not feelin any help!!!! can you help me understand what i'm feelin??? and help me to start feelin happy that she's gonna be in my class!!!???!! please help!!! :)

~dancer.in.need~

Hello Hopedancer,

I think your nic says something about the person you are...You have a hope, and you love to dance. Combining the two is special.

Your issue is not one of jealousy....

Jealousy is a loving protection over that which is already YOURS. Just as God is jealous for HIS children..This is a very GOOD thing.

Your issue is one of covetousness. You desire those things that someone else has. That can be very dangerous and is why God has commanded us, "Thou shall not covet." This is important hopedancer because the moment we covet what is not ours, a seed gets planted to try to work out a way to take hold of this elusive possession or desire. God wants to cut us off at the INTENT or thought before it takes hold of us and brings about our downfall. This issue may involve your friend, but the lesson here is for YOU. God is wanting to work something out in YOU. He is wanting that for all of his children. HE wants you to want HIM more than anything else in the world. That is why the very first command that Jesus gives is this..

"Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and HIS righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Seek HIM. Dont get caught up in seeking the blessing. When you seek HIM first, the blessing will follow....Why..? Because he SAYS it will. God is no Liar.

The person who places his faith in a pool will never have a pool big enough, the person who lives only to be promoted, will never be able to go high enough.

Your friend might also be covetous of many things that YOU are and many things that you have that she does NOT.

Dont take your eyes off the REAL prize..Jesus.

Think about the person who watches you dance who would love to dance as YOU do but doesnt have the ability or even the finances to afford it.

Think about the person who who is crippled who would give anything just to know what it feels like to be able to walk, let alone dance...

You are a very blessed person hopedancer and Im sure that the things you DONT have pale in comparison to the things that you DO have.

Regards,

Ben.


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Posted (edited)
guys... i don't know what's wrong with me!!! one of my best friends just got moved up into my dance class from the level below me... and i should be super excited... right? wrong! i don't why... but i'm kinda angry... and upset... cuz first of all... her mom tries to push my friend to be better in everything... and tries to get her in classes she shouldn't be in... and sometimes that gets on my nerves cuz i don't get those priveleges ... ya know? my friend is also pretty rich... she has a huge house... and has pool... and now they're rippin down the pool to get a better one... and she has her own dance mirror... they have about 200 dvd's... but have only watched about 1/2 of them... they have 5 t.v's (they only have 4 people in their family!)... and i could go on and on!!! idk guys.... i think i'm having a problem w/ jealousy... and i asked God for wisdom... cuz the bible says that when we face trials we can ask God for wisdom and He'll give it to us... but i'm not feelin any help!!!! can you help me understand what i'm feelin??? and help me to start feelin happy that she's gonna be in my class!!!???!! please help!!! :unsure:

~dancer.in.need~

Hi Hopedancer...Can I share a story with you? It may be a little long so bear with me...

When I was 15, I was involved in competitive figure skating. Skating was my passion , it was something that I wanted to do when I was 3 but couldn't til I was 11 because we did not live near an ice rink. I took to the sport like a duck to water, but I had family problems and there wasn't much extra money. I did everything I could like taking cheap ice time at odd hours, making a deal with my coaches to help for coach time, etc... What I didn't have was big money for custom skates, and I suffered some injuries as a result of having poor equipment.

The other kids had parents at the rink to care for them, mine were not there. The other kids had mom or dad to wake them, feed them, get there stuff together for school, [we practiced hours before school, very early in the morning]... I had to do it all on my own. while the other parents were warming up the cars for their kids I was scraping snow off the truck windshield and waking up my mom with a cup of coffee so she could drop me off at the rink. When competitions, exhibitions, testing came around, all the gals had new skating outfits while I had to borrow old dresses from other skaters. Some parents kissed up to the judges and did get some benefit out of it...

There were many days when I envied the other kids because they had it easier, or they had the family support both fianacial and emotional... But, I was doing it on my own. Well, not really alone because I had Jesus with me... But you want to know what else I had that the other's didn't....

Self Disipline, Determination, Work Ethic, Character and a exercise in Commitment. It was the other parents and coaches who pointed to me and said to the others, "Why can't you be 1) on time 2) work hard/professional 3) more positive like she is/does"

I was able to be all those things because I did have to work for it. When something is easy or it is just given to us, we don't appreciate it as much. There is accomplishment in working hard and the benefits will shine through. I Praise God for those difficult times, because not only did He show me that He was with me, but that He had a greater purpose.... He was making me a better person because of it.

** Note, folks sometimes my inspiration comes from unlikely places, but bear with me...**

That year when I was 15, I also had surgery on both knees. I went to public school and was the 'nerdy good girl who skated', I had very few friends and one disappointed me. We were walking home from the bus stop after school, I was on crutches and she was helping me with my books... Then one of the popular kids and her sister drove by, stopped and only asked my friend if she wanted a ride home... She took it, leaving me struggling with crutches and my books. Blasting from their radio was a Rolling Stones song that had a new meaning for me that day...

"You Can't Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometime, You Might Find, You Get What You Need..."

We cant always get what we want, why? God has a better plan for us, even though it might be a harder stretch of the road... But don't despair, because God will provide, He will give us what we need. He will not abandon us.

1 Timothy 6:17 (NIV)

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

So Hopedancer, don't worry about what she has or what she is doing and focus on yourself and what God wants to do for you... Focus on being the kind of person God wants you to be.

:noidea:

Edited by kittyjo

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Posted

hey guys! just so ya know... i ended up figurin it out on my own.... i just have to deal w/ it... and so i am... ya know cuz we can't help what happens... and i'll be a lot happier in the long run... thanx for all of ur advice though... it really made me think. luv y'all! ~NESS

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