Husbands role in marriage

[Scarletprayers]

Excellent point Tah.

I wonder why the men arent complaining that they HAVE to love their wives?

From what I can tell...some wives are just hard to love!

Marnie's role for her ideal husband: pastor, poolboy, lawnboy, chef, masseur, accountant, stand up comedian, plummer, electrician and all around miracle worker. I can't imagine why I am single.

Me either.............sounds like a pretty good list to me, valid points and interesting concepts!

[cjrose]

Somebody please tell my husband he doesn't RULE! He's a good man but extremely controlling and if he read the bible I believe he would take wives submit to your husbands literally. He is the head of the household, is in charge of everything. I just have the babies ( who are growing up now ) and be there to well...submit. I have struggled with this role for over 12 years and I am having a difficult time expressing myself and standing up for myself because I have been mentally and emotionally pushed down. I don't want to say abuse because that's a strong word but some form of my identity was lost because of my role as a mother and a wife.

I now have other things I am involved in. My volunteer work is rewarding. Trying to save babies. I'm not in any movement or anything but I am involved with the Birthright International in our local city. I really feel it's a calling. The thing is it's the only thing he has approved of. And me being a people pleaser and approval seeker I do for him but mostly for me and for the women who come in and need serious support.

Tried school for a while but wouldn't let me work so I lost interest. There must be some love between us because I stay. Going on 19 years now. But Italians can be controlling and feel less manly if they aren't in charge of everything that goes on with everyone. We are unequally yolked and I have witnessed to him many times. He is so Catholic it hurts me. All I can do is pray for him and that I can find some peace and happiness in who I am as I find myself again and what I do for the women I help.

[Floatingaxe]

cjrose...

I will certainly pray for you.

[cjrose]

cjrose...

I will certainly pray for you.

Thank you Axe

[cjrose]

Somebody please tell my husband he doesn't RULE! He's a good man but extremely controlling and if he read the bible I believe he would take wives submit to your husbands literally. He is the head of the household, is in charge of everything. I just have the babies ( who are growing up now ) and be there to well...submit. I have struggled with this role for over 12 years and I am having a difficult time expressing myself and standing up for myself because I have been mentally and emotionally pushed down. I don't want to say abuse because that's a strong word but some form of my identity was lost because of my role as a mother and a wife.

I now have other things I am involved in. My volunteer work is rewarding. Trying to save babies. I'm not in any movement or anything but I am involved with the Birthright International in our local city. I really feel it's a calling. The thing is it's the only thing he has approved of. And me being a people pleaser and approval seeker I do for him but mostly for me and for the women who come in and need serious support.

Tried school for a while but wouldn't let me work so I lost interest. There must be some love between us because I stay. Going on 19 years now. But Italians can be controlling and feel less manly if they aren't in charge of everything that goes on with everyone. We are unequally yolked and I have witnessed to him many times. He is so Catholic it hurts me. All I can do is pray for him and that I can find some peace and happiness in who I am as I find myself again and what I do for the women I help.

My heart goes out to you cjrose. You are not the only woman who has a similar complaint. Sometimes, the young lacking both hindsight and foresight cannot understand how easily this happens. It is likely a large part of the reason that among Christians the divorce rate is the same or a point above the world. And among Christians the Baptists by far have the worst DV records. And I'm a Baptist so I'm more able to admit that without prejudice.

I'm glad you found an interest that he doesn't fight you over. And I'll be praying for you to find other interests equally rewarding and for your Italian man to have his eyes opened to your real worth.

blessings,

Tiro

(((((((((((((Tiro)))))))))))) Words to live by and thank you for your prayers. That means a lot to me.

[CoramDeo]

These are some of the main points that I have gleaned from reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge:

• Every woman needs to know that she is exquisite and exotic and chosen.
  
• A hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior, not just a Really Nice Guy.
  
• We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another.
  
• When a man withholds himself from his woman, he leaves her without the life only he can bring.
  
• If the man refuses to offer himself, then his wife will remain empty and barren. A violent man destroys with his words; a silent man starves his new wife.
  
• The masculine journey takes a man away from the woman so that he might return to her. He goes to find his strength; he returns to offer it. He tears down the walls of the tower that has held her with his words and with his actions. He speaks to her heart's deepest question in a thousand ways. Yes, you are lovely.
  
• Yes, there is one who will fight for you. But because most men have not yet fought the battle, most women are still in the tower.
  
• Most men marry for safety; they choose a woman who will make them feel like a man but never really challenge them to be one. God turns our scheme for safety on us, requiring us to play the man.
  
• You love her because that's what you are made to do; that's what a real man does.
  
• Stop being just a nice guy and act like a warrior.
  

[Floatingaxe]

Cre8d!

That was lovely and very romantic! I would love to add to that, that a man who truly loves, will spur the wife on to what God is calling her to, forsaking his own needs and desires for her fulfilling God's call on her life. So many men do not do this. They whine and demand and demean what their wives are doing as unto the Lord, and the result is: they stem the flow.

Men like that will be held accountable for holding back the anointing.

A great husband who knows his role well before God will make sure that his wife has every opportunity to become what God has called her to.

Good post, Cre8d!

[CoramDeo]

Thank you! I also added some personal goals for myself. I have given my wife a copy of these, and a trusted close friend as well so that he can hold me accountable. Here they are:

These are my goals:

[*]To treat my wife with respect. I have been reading in 1 Peter 3:7: "In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God

[CoramDeo]

Cre8d2Worship, that is one of the finest purposeful lists I've read in a long time. Excellent.

And I do hope your wife makes one up for you also.

She definitely has her own list and fulfills all the requirements of a godly woman. She is both my treasure and my pleasure.