dating and marriage

[Guest Kay-Gurl1990]

a friend of mine an myself starting a bit f a confusing conversation yesterday, its been keeping my mind busy ever since, but im nto getting anywhere.

as a christian..is dating necesary? i mean, we are called to give evrything up for God, and all our relationships, of whatever kind, should be betering us with God and in out faith, so why, when we date, do we always end up putting that relationship 1st, its a natural reaction, but...how do we overcome it, and how do we know when we've got that relationship. or who it shall be with? The bible talks of marriage, but not of dating. and yet it is supposed to be (and is) transferable to the lifestyle of today, to help us seek out the right from wrong.

And the other issue of marriage. It says in the bible that in heaven, all the bad stuff from earth does not exist, and yet nither does marriage. why has God blessed us with marriage, if it does not have a place in heaven? why is it needed here on earth, if not in heaven?

I don't know what to make of this.

Kay-Gurl

[Marnie]

The Bible says in heaven there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage. On earth, marriage was created by G-d for man for a variety of reasons, which I am sure the good members of Worthy will give you in droves. One thing to keep in mind is that the two insitutions G-d established by G-d were for man's benefit, namely marriage and the church. And both were designed to show to an unbelieving world the kind of relationship G-d wants with His people.

As far as dating goes, why not date? Not every man you date should lead to marriage, but you shouldn't date a man you wouldn't at least consider marrying. Dating should be what it is: a good way to meet people and learn about them. It is human nature to obsess about your latest date, and for women I think it is natural for some of us to obsess about being married. Especially Jewish women, who should be married at my age...oy. Anyway, you need to be mature enough to understand relationships, especially your relationship with G-d. If your relationship with Him is in order, I would say date. If you have a weak relationship with G-d, work on that before you date.

[Leonard]

Sorry Marnie; I completely disagree. Our custom of 'dating' has led to record levels of VD and out of wedlock pregnancy. IF dating is allowed at all, it should only be in groups, and in VERY public areas. Young folks should NOT be left alone together.

Ladies, this is for YOUR protection.........

[buckthesystem]

Marriage - in my view - is all about children. We must procreate and we must be married in order to procreate. As Christians we must produce other Christians, it is our responsibility to witness to people, who hopefully will be persuaded by that enough to seek a personal relationship of their own with God, and we should also, if we can, produce children and give them the chance to seek and attain their own relationship with God. A child needs two parents to provide them with enough support to live properly while they do that.

Marriage doesn't exist in heaven because there is no need for it. There is need for it on Earth because we all need a life partner for companionship and perhaps a physical relationship. As Marnie said, God created marriage for man's benefit, not God's.

As for dating. Well in biblical times, it was much simpler. We would probably be matched with someone "suitable" by the family while we were still young, but in today's society we are left to find our own mate and the way we have devised of doing this is "dating". We think we have progressed as a society and wouldn't marry someone unless we have got to know them and found them suitable. How can you know whether or not somebody is going to make a good marriage partner if you have not dated them first and got to know them?

I think, also, that it is important that you have a good relationship with God and an important attribute for a potential marriage partner is that their relationship with God is strong too and then you can worship and glorify God together. That is a pretty big part of a marriage.

[nebula]

Dating as we know it was not the Biblical method for finding a mate. In Biblical days, as far as I know, marriages were arranged.

Now, we can't change our society and go back to that method, of course.

I recommend reading a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (Link)

[buckthesystem]

Sorry Marnie; I completely disagree. Our custom of 'dating' has led to record levels of VD and out of wedlock pregnancy. IF dating is allowed at all, it should only be in groups, and in VERY public areas. Young folks should NOT be left alone together.

Ladies, this is for YOUR protection.........

Leonard I don't think that Marnie meant that "dating" had to have a sexual content, I think she meant - as I also did in my post - that the definition of "dating" was just going out with someone, not sleeping with them as well.

In biblical times the custom was for arranged marriages. Life would be a lot simpler today if it was still like that, but for all sorts of reasons it is not. So how are we to find the right partner if we do not date?

Again, it is pretty hard to get to know someone when you only ever see them in a group setting.

[Guest Kay-Gurl1990]

Dating as we know it was not the Biblical method for finding a mate. In Biblical days, as far as I know, marriages were arranged.

Now, we can't change our society and go back to that method, of course.

I recommend reading a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (Link)

see i have that book on my bookshelf, but im very wary of reading books by other christians, as some i have read are very off the wall and they seem to have misinterpreted scripture etc, is it a decent book then?

Kay-Gurl

[Leonard]

Leonard I don't think that Marnie meant that "dating" had to have a sexual content, I think she meant - as I also did in my post - that the definition of "dating" was just going out with someone, not sleeping with them as well.

In biblical times the custom was for arranged marriages. Life would be a lot simpler today if it was still like that, but for all sorts of reasons it is not. So how are we to find the right partner if we do not date?

Again, it is pretty hard to get to know someone when you only ever see them in a group setting.

I know she didn't mean that, but statistically that's what happens. It is all too easy in these extremely sexually charged days for young people to get carried away in the moment, that's all.

Dating is a very stupid, stupid institution.

[nebula]

I recommend reading a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris (Link)

see i have that book on my bookshelf, but im very wary of reading books by other christians, as some i have read are very off the wall and they seem to have misinterpreted scripture etc, is it a decent book then?

Hey -

If it helps any -

Josh isn't about teaching theology so much as holy living.

I do not recall eading anything in there theologically off the wall.

If it helps, here's a web page about the book.

[sierra21]

Leonard I don't think that Marnie meant that "dating" had to have a sexual content, I think she meant - as I also did in my post - that the definition of "dating" was just going out with someone, not sleeping with them as well.

In biblical times the custom was for arranged marriages. Life would be a lot simpler today if it was still like that, but for all sorts of reasons it is not. So how are we to find the right partner if we do not date?

Again, it is pretty hard to get to know someone when you only ever see them in a group setting.

I know she didn't mean that, but statistically that's what happens. It is all too easy in these extremely sexually charged days for young people to get carried away in the moment, that's all.

Dating is a very stupid, stupid institution.

Dating is stupid....UNLESS you do it right. And believe me...lol...i've done enough dating to know how HAPPY i am to be engaged Anyways....I would encourage someone to date only in public until they really get to know eachother. If you've found someone that has similar values and beliefs (and this is what you should be discussing when you go out on these dates) then you should be comfortable enough to spend some time alone. These moments are the ones when you feel really close to that special guy and you realize that you want to spend the rest of your life having these moments (not talking about sex here leonard, don't have a heart attack! I'm talking about sitting on the couch, holding hands and talking about heaven....or your first memory....or your childhood blankey that you just couldnt get rid of )

Marriage is a gift from God...and we should hold it in our hearts for it is a SACRED UNION. lol but then I may be a bit biased since I just got engaged....lol

sierra