refugepsa91 Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 5,961 Content Per Day: 0.76 Reputation: 61 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/25/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted January 14, 2003 Hey again... I have asked my hubby and he says he believes that he is going to heaven....as I said he may have said the prayer of salvation and not shared it with me...its hard to explain he was raised in a catholic home...but didn't practice that religion when we met...and still doesn't for that matter...I would love for him to be baptized but he says hes already been baptized as an infant...I do keep praying...when the time is right God will give me the right words to say to him. Mine has trouble with titheing also....so what I make at work I will tithe into the church and he always adds to that with his offering from his wages...I sure can relate to cat on this one...but I think after I invited Jesus into my life that he can't help but see the change in me and all of the blessings that we have been recieveing he is beginning to see the light...I just wish it could go faster....I know...God is working on my patience problem also I love my hubby dearly....and always will...he is a wonderful guy who loves me and his children greatly...its the forces he can't see that he has trouble relating too... Love and Blessings Angel H. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 827 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 12,101 Content Per Day: 1.49 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 04/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted January 14, 2003 its the forces he can't see that he has trouble relating too... That's what I was trying to say exactly!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WISDOM Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 128 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,692 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 17 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/24/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/31/1952 Share Posted January 14, 2003 With some of what I've heard here you all make me feel very good about my spouse and I.  We are very much in sync with our Scriptural understandings and it filters over into our sons.  She will even call me (as do I her) at certain times of the work day if a question comes about concerning the Word, which she  (or I) may not clearly understand.  We both love the same kinds of music and more and more we're becoming one.  We pray together, and try to approach our FATHER's throne as one....although not all the time, but a great majority of it.  We try to make a conscious effort to share our thoughts together on the Word. :thumb: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 36 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 553 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2002 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 14, 2003 The Lord seems to deal with my husband and I in different ways, too. Â For example, I tend to get answers to prayer in dreams, and seem to "know" how things will turn out. Â My husband is more of a discerner and a teacher. When we first got married, he was a little taken aback at how I praised and worshipped. Â I sang all the time as I did my chores, and he said that living with me was like living in a musical. He never praised in dance, and he definitely did not like all the music or the books that I did. Â He thought most of my friends were weird. Â However, I learned to keep quiet about these things, and to pray about them very specifically, mostly just by describing the situations to the Lord. Â We really have unity now, and we respect the different ways that the Lord deals with His children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigershark Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 From what I have read, and make no mistake I am stepping way out of my area here. Â Men are differant(no kidding!!). Â We move slower to things we don't understand, we move in "protection" mode to what dosen't make sense to us. Â Women (no matter how much we love them) "proding" us only causes us to go even slower. Â We are quieter about things that we don't clearly understand (in the modern American male world to talk about what you don't know, and then be proven wrong is an afront to the male ego, and yes ego is important to males) God and spirituallity are alien concepts to most of us, we are "grounded". Â As has been said "men are from dirt" and so we are for the most part grounded, we understand what we can touch, taste, see, feel, smell etc., etc. Â Leaving what we know and moving into what we don't know is diffecult and puts us on edge, part of that whole "protect the tribe" thinking. Â Further like myself most men want a God they can understand to some degree and relate to. Â If we do not understand we resist, part of our make up I guess, we don't like suprises for the most part. regards (and I again am stepping way out of my area on this one) TS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 827 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 12,101 Content Per Day: 1.49 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 04/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted January 14, 2003 Ah, but Tiger - a man's perspective is what we'd like to see! Thanks! And I totally understand what you are saying. The "protection mode" is the one that my hubby stays in! LOL! Actually, when I first came to this board his defenses went up! He's still leary of it! He thinks something bad can go through the phone lines, out the computer, and grab me! And I must admit that there have been times I've been in prayer for protection and descernment for that very thing. And I understand the nagging or prodding thing too. I try to not do that ever. Conversation, yes. And I absolutely need to adopt the "quieter about things that we don't clearly understand" thing too! If I could do that more I'd get in less trouble! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catsmeow Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 439 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 7,315 Content Per Day: 0.93 Reputation: 356 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/21/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted January 14, 2003 I know, Traveller...same here - my husband always thinks something bad is happening on the computer; he's really suspicious of everything and everyone. That's why I show him so much of what's going on so he'll feel at ease with it. He's not really interested but I try to calm any fears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tigershark Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 Ah, but Tiger - a man's perspective is what we'd like to see! Thanks! And I totally understand what you are saying. The "protection mode" is the one that my hubby stays in! LOL! Actually, when I first came to this board his defenses went up! He's still leary of it! He thinks something bad can go through the phone lines, out the computer, and grab me! And I must admit that there have been times I've been in prayer for protection and descernment for that very thing. And I understand the nagging or prodding thing too. I try to not do that ever. Conversation, yes. And I absolutely need to adopt the "quieter about things that we don't clearly understand" thing too! If I could do that more I'd get in less trouble! "Protection mode" means we feel we have something to protect. Â How many times have you seen your husband walk away from something/someone and not even give it a second thought. Â How many times do you need to "reassure" him that things are as they appear, and there is no "hidden" danger. Â We are "trained" to ensure the clan is safe, and in a post modern world this posses a problem for us. Further most males are jelious of time, we don't care much for things that take time and attention from us by our spouce. Â So traveller "grap you" no, take from him, yes, challenge your attention to him, yes. Â Fair no, "fact" yes. Â Little know, show (even faint) intrest in something he is doing/into and he may feel comfortable recipicating. Â Go to where he feels comfortable, garage, shop, office, and talk to him there on his turf/territory, just make sure you are not pulling him away from his task, wait till he seems to look for something new to destroy/build. Â Ask him his opnion and listen, not argue or correct him, wait let him express it, even if it is way off base. Â then approach it later with him after he feels that it has "gotten through to you" and you have thought about it. Â Â Just ideas. Â We as males do not play fair, we are not even sure what "fair" means exactly. Â As for worship, have him and a or the church leader get togather without women around and talk about guy stuff (cars, sports, shops, tools, sports), he has to feel that the "threat" is not there before he is comortable. Â then with comfort comes a willingness to open up, even if slowly and with caution. Â But, I can promise that pushing him into a "forgein" situation and telling him how he should act/feel will not work. TS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Senior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 36 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 553 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/30/2002 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 14, 2003 I say we turn this into a male bashing thread. Â Â Kidding, kidding. Seriously, Tigershark, you make a lot of sense. Â The male/female differences are there for a reason and the blance they provide is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angels4u Posted January 14, 2003 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 55 Topic Count: 1,664 Topics Per Day: 0.20 Content Count: 19,764 Content Per Day: 2.38 Reputation: 12,164 Days Won: 28 Joined: 08/22/2001 Status: Offline Share Posted January 14, 2003 Hey Tiger, Thank you very much for your input! My husband stays in The "protection mode" all the time  too and I find that sometimes hard to handle, when I get exited about something ,he doesn't see any reason for that. Are most men afraid to open themself up? I find myself hurt by that very often, I know my husband loves me, he is as solid as can be but he doesn't easy show his inner feelings and that makes me think that he doesn't trust me enough to share his feelings. He is a good husband and father but I feel we can never can be really feeling one without that trust, do you know what I mean? Angels    Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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