I have an obsession with someone

[Footsteps]

Hello, everybody. This is my first post in over a year and a half. I have this major problem and don't know what to do about it.

I have an obsession with this girl I met online. I met her through MySpace and we talked on and off for about four months or

so. Toward the last month, we got very close and we decided to meet each other. At the last minute, she backed out and

since then I've been obsessing over her constantly. At the time I wasn't walking with the Lord and since then I have come

back. I decided to give her up and I cancelled my MySpace account. I have completely severered all links with her, including

her phone number, past pms that I had saved of our conversations, and any pics she had sent me. I felt lead by God to make

a total break form her. All this has happened within the last month. But, I'm still constantly obsessing over her.

This is not the first obsession I have had. I've had them last anywhere form a month or so to four or five months. I even had

one that lasted four years. The problem I have is I never know what to do to make them end. I usually give up anything and

everything that is connecting me to them and then pray over the things that I can't get away from, like I still know this girl's

email address, so I just pray that God will give me the strength not to contact her.

I'm more obsessive than compulsvie. I've learned in the past that acting out on my obsessions doesn't help to bring me

closer to them, so I always have to pray not to act out in any way. It's the most frustrating thing in the world, wanting

desperately to forget about someone who is constantly and endlessly in my mind.

Here's the main focus of my problem. I have recently moved to Florida form Texas. I moved here to take care of my mom

who has breathing problems and can't get around anymore without someone helping her. I had nothing tying me to Texas,

and my mom and I talked about it for a year or so, and I felt led to move to Florida and take care of her.

But, this obsession is now getting in my way.

Let me explain. In the past, when I had an obsession, I would ask God to

remove it from my life, but He never would. It doesn't matter how much I pray or what steps I take to get rid of it...it's

always there. If I wanted to get rid of the obsession, I always had to get away from it somehow. For example, the four year

obsession ended when I decided to move from Illlinois (where the obssession started and the object of my obssession still

resided) back to Texas. I had to move to another state to get rid of it.

Another obsession I had, I had to quit this job I worked at (where the object of my obssion still worked) and find another job.

Once I quit, I was free from it. I didn't have to leave the state that time. God deals with these obssessions in different ways.

Each obssession is different and I usually have to give something up to get free.

So...I feel now like this obssession will be with me for awhile, until I can figure out how to get rid of it. The girl in question

lives in Florida, about five hours away from me. I'm starting to get thoughts of moving back to Dallas (where I moved from)

in order to be free from her, but I feel I can't move beacuse I need to take care of my mom and she will never move back to

Dallas. She's happy in Florida. I feel the only way I can be free is to move out of state, but I feel that God brought

my mom and I together for a reason.

I feel absolutely trapped and like there is no way out from this obssession. I can't just leave my mom all alone and move

back to Dallas. That doesn't seem right somehow, but I can't stand staying here and living under the burden of this terrible

obssession either. I've been having VERY strong feelings of wanting to kill myself. Stronger than I have ever felt before. I

keep thinking about going out to the garage, sitting in my car, and let the fuems (sp) from the exhaust suffocate me until I

die.

I am desperate and don't know what to do. I feel totally trapped and need to get some Christians in my life. I have been

searching for a good, spirit filled church to belong to, but have not been able to find one yet. I have worked a few jobs, but

none of them seem right. Maybe I'm not meant to be here in Florida after all.

I don't know what to do. I'm getting more and more depressed every day and feel a breakdown coming on. I hate my life

and the only thing that is keeping me going every day is my relationship to Christ.

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Edited September 23, 2006 by footsteps

[Northern lass]

Footsteps, my heart goes out to you! I don't have any answers and I'm sure some of the wiser people on this board will be more helpful. Just wanted you to know that I have felt your pain and will pray for you.

Just one thing, have you tried medical help?

[Footsteps]

Footsteps, my heart goes out to you! I don't have any answers and I'm sure some of the wiser people on this board will be more helpful. Just wanted you to know that I have felt your pain and will pray for you.

Just one thing, have you tried medical help?

I've tried prozac and xanax in the past and it does help, but I feel like I'm cheating God somehow. I always feel bad when I take meds, like I'm not putting my problems in God's hands, but trusting in meds instead. Plus, prozac makes me feel uninspired, like a zombie, and I got addicted to xanax and had to go to the emergency room when I ran out because my body was addicted to it. So, for right now, meds are out of the question.

Thanks for praying for me, Lass.

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

Dear Lord God Almighty,

I ask you Father to help footsteps, please break this depression and the obsessions from him and guide him to know how much you love him and to know whom he should be in you and how to find the love he is needing and to give him the love of his life who is in you Lord. Please guide him to a church where he can have hands on prayers of faith and annointing with oil and be healed of the things he is sufering from. I rebuke any spirit that is not of you that may be affecting him and his life and home or family ior any spirit thati s afecting him in self destructive ways and in the Name of Jesus, they must leave. Father I ask that you send the Holy Spirit and give more of You to footsteps and that you send a mighty angel to battle for him and give him the guidance and protection he is needing in all situations. Oh HOly Spirit we welcome you and ask that you help footsteps.

Oh Sweet Jesus I ask that You give him your peace that he does not need to run nor move - But, can be still and hear your voice and know your peace , his eyes on you and his heart fully open to you Lord.

Please guide him to the medical and spiritual helps that he may need to be fully restored in Jesus Name.

amen

Dear footsteps,

Have you considered Christian councelling, it is free in churches where pastors have councelling degrees and many are wise for helping us in such things, having helped many others prior. Weather you take meds or not, it is Jesus who does the healing. Have you put your needs on a prayer chain for Intercessors? Can do it here on worthy . But, I also suggest calling a church and asking for them to pray for you for full restoration, body, mind and soul, God will lead their prayers by the Holy Spirit. MOst have prayers chain of intercessors to help you, or ask if they have healing rooms oor know of any to go to for more prayers.

Perhaps it is time to not keep doing the same thing over and over in diferent geographical locations, but to step out in trust in JEsus and get some good help and support for yourself in church and councelling and medical when needed.

Please don't hold back from calling a pastor or two and being on their prayer chains and visiting for finding the home church to help you, support you and pray for you.

by all means please go for prayer and for medical and councelling, far better than these dangerous thoughts of sucide or stopping yourself form having the love you so much are needing in Gods help for you and also in a mate and healing your life and way of thinking, He can do all of this and much much more for you in JEsus in you.

PLease seek JEsus everyday deeply. and seek the help of others, we all need each other.

God will help you, HE will never leave you.

Take care,

elkie

[Footsteps]

Dear Lord God Almighty,

I ask you Father to help footsteps, please break this depression and the obsessions from him and guide him to know how much you love him and to know whom he should be in you and how to find the love he is needing and to give him the love of his life who is in you Lord. Please guide him to a church where he can have hands on prayers of faith and annointing with oil and be healed of the things he is sufering from. I rebuke any spirit that is not of you that may be affecting him and his life and home or family ior any spirit thati s afecting him in self destructive ways and in the Name of Jesus, they must leave. Father I ask that you send the Holy Spirit and give more of You to footsteps and that you send a mighty angel to battle for him and give him the guidance and protection he is needing in all situations. Oh HOly Spirit we welcome you and ask that you help footsteps.

Oh Sweet Jesus I ask that You give him your peace that he does not need to run nor move - But, can be still and hear your voice and know your peace , his eyes on you and his heart fully open to you Lord.

Please guide him to the medical and spiritual helps that he may need to be fully restored in Jesus Name.

amen

Dear footsteps,

Have you considered Christian councelling, it is free in churches where pastors have councelling degrees and many are wise for helping us in such things, having helped many others prior. Weather you take meds or not, it is Jesus who does the healing. Have you put your needs on a prayer chain for Intercessors? Can do it here on worthy . But, I also suggest calling a church and asking for them to pray for you for full restoration, body, mind and soul, God will lead their prayers by the Holy Spirit. MOst have prayers chain of intercessors to help you, or ask if they have healing rooms oor know of any to go to for more prayers.

Perhaps it is time to not keep doing the same thing over and over in diferent geographical locations, but to step out in trust in JEsus and get some good help and support for yourself in church and councelling and medical when needed.

Please don't hold back from calling a pastor or two and being on their prayer chains and visiting for finding the home church to help you, support you and pray for you.

by all means please go for prayer and for medical and councelling, far better than these dangerous thoughts of sucide or stopping yourself form having the love you so much are needing in Gods help for you and also in a mate and healing your life and way of thinking, He can do all of this and much much more for you in JEsus in you.

PLease seek JEsus everyday deeply. and seek the help of others, we all need each other.

God will help you, HE will never leave you.

Take care,

elkie

Thank you for your prayers. They mean the world to me right now, being new to the area that I live in and not having any Christian friends. I consider you my friend. I just put in a prayer request to be free from this obssession on this very board! I actually feel freer since I've shared this problem. I've never felt very comfortable about leaving my job where the obssession and that girl were. I always felt it was a cop out of sorts, but in retrospect, maybe it was the Lord's way of freeing me. I don't really know. When I left that job, I got bitter against God and fell away from Him beacuse I had to leave. I felt that I delivered myself from the obssession and what good was God. I'm still confused about that one. All I know is that I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would deliver me and He didn't, so I left that job and I was delivered. It still doesn't make any sense to me and actually has caused me to trust in God even less. Obssessions are something that I have never before experienced before with such intensity. Every other problem I have ever put in the Lord's hands I have been delivered from, except for any obssession. I always feel like somehow I deliver myself from it. I don't like that though. I want God to take it away...not me. Does this make sense?

Anyway, when I get into a good church, I'm going for some counceling to help me get over this problem. I need lots of support right now.

[tigger398]

Hello, everybody. This is my first post in over a year and a half. I have this major problem and don't know what to do about it.

I have an obsession with this girl I met online. I met her through MySpace and we talked on and off for about four months or

so. Toward the last month, we got very close and we decided to meet each other. At the last minute, she backed out and

since then I've been obsessing over her constantly. At the time I wasn't walking with the Lord and since then I have come

back. I decided to give her up and I cancelled my MySpace account. I have completely severered all links with her, including

her phone number, past pms that I had saved of our conversations, and any pics she had sent me. I felt lead by God to make

a total break form her. All this has happened within the last month. But, I'm still constantly obsessing over her.

This is not the first obsession I have had. I've had them last anywhere form a month or so to four or five months. I even had

one that lasted four years. The problem I have is I never know what to do to make them end. I usually give up anything and

everything that is connecting me to them and then pray over the things that I can't get away from, like I still know this girl's

email address, so I just pray that God will give me the strength not to contact her.

I'm more obsessive than compulsvie. I've learned in the past that acting out on my obsessions doesn't help to bring me

closer to them, so I always have to pray not to act out in any way. It's the most frustrating thing in the world, wanting

desperately to forget about someone who is constantly and endlessly in my mind.

Here's the main focus of my problem. I have recently moved to Florida form Texas. I moved here to take care of my mom

who has breathing problems and can't get around anymore without someone helping her. I had nothing tying me to Texas,

and my mom and I talked about it for a year or so, and I felt led to move to Florida and take care of her.

But, this obsession is now getting in my way.

Let me explain. In the past, when I had an obsession, I would ask God to

remove it from my life, but He never would. It doesn't matter how much I pray or what steps I take to get rid of it...it's

always there. If I wanted to get rid of the obsession, I always had to get away from it somehow. For example, the four year

obsession ended when I decided to move from Illlinois (where the obssession started and the object of my obssession still

resided) back to Texas. I had to move to another state to get rid of it.

Another obsession I had, I had to quit this job I worked at (where the object of my obssion still worked) and find another job.

Once I quit, I was free from it. I didn't have to leave the state that time. God deals with these obssessions in different ways.

Each obssession is different and I usually have to give something up to get free.

So...I feel now like this obssession will be with me for awhile, until I can figure out how to get rid of it. The girl in question

lives in Florida, about five hours away from me. I'm starting to get thoughts of moving back to Dallas (where I moved from)

in order to be free from her, but I feel I can't move beacuse I need to take care of my mom and she will never move back to

Dallas. She's happy in Florida. I feel the only way I can be free is to move out of state, but I feel that God brought

my mom and I together for a reason.

I feel absolutely trapped and like there is no way out from this obssession. I can't just leave my mom all alone and move

back to Dallas. That doesn't seem right somehow, but I can't stand staying here and living under the burden of this terrible

obssession either. I've been having VERY strong feelings of wanting to kill myself. Stronger than I have ever felt before. I

keep thinking about going out to the garage, sitting in my car, and let the fuems (sp) from the exhaust suffocate me until I

die.

I am desperate and don't know what to do. I feel totally trapped and need to get some Christians in my life. I have been

searching for a good, spirit filled church to belong to, but have not been able to find one yet. I have worked a few jobs, but

none of them seem right. Maybe I'm not meant to be here in Florida after all.

I don't know what to do. I'm getting more and more depressed every day and feel a breakdown coming on. I hate my life

and the only thing that is keeping me going every day is my relationship to Christ.

is praying

[carrielles]

Foorsteps, this sounds like normal God's correction to me. When there is something in your life standing between you and the Lord he will often remove it, and you ned to replace it or fill it with something that is glorifying to Him, not you. Correction is good because it shows how important we are to God. He corrects us because He loves us and doesnt want us to have consequences that goes with sin. Obcesion is a form of sin because you are attending and giving your energy and time to something other than your creator. Give your heart time and energy back to Him and you wil feel more in control and more secure and be better balanced in your life. Jesus is the foundation on which we should buld our lives, not a window to opened every now and again. Seek first the kingdom of God and all the other things ( girlfriends jobs friends) wil be added unto you. Praise the Lord for you. What can you do for Him today?

C

[chicagoburbite]

Hi there footsteps.

It seems as if you have a "God shaped" hole in your heart that you keep trying to fill with people. I did that too!! Just a few years ago, when I was still single, at the age of 37, I stepped away from the Lord, and looked for people to fill this void. I even obsessed over 2 individuals. But God saw this, and He shut... no ...SLAMMED the doors on both of these relationships. If left up to me, I still would have been in 1 of the 2 unhealthy relationships. But God knew I was incapable of ending the obsessions without His help, and so He ended them.

It seems like that is what He has done with you. Slammed several doors. You are on the right track as far as ridding yourself of them, their pictures, emails, phone #'s, but then it just seems like instead of replacing the God-shaped-hole (that you attempted to fill with these women) with God himself, you try to run from the women by moving. They aren't the problem. They could live in the same town. The problem appears to be filling up the void in your life with God, your Father.

I implore you to find a very active church. One that looks after it's people, and the community. I know some people in Florida, I could help you if you need.

Run to the Lord, read the psalms, and listen to David's cries.

[Footsteps]

Hi there footsteps.

It seems as if you have a "God shaped" hole in your heart that you keep trying to fill with people. I did that too!! Just a few years ago, when I was still single, at the age of 37, I stepped away from the Lord, and looked for people to fill this void. I even obsessed over 2 individuals. But God saw this, and He shut... no ...SLAMMED the doors on both of these relationships. If left up to me, I still would have been in 1 of the 2 unhealthy relationships. But God knew I was incapable of ending the obsessions without His help, and so He ended them.

It seems like that is what He has done with you. Slammed several doors. You are on the right track as far as ridding yourself of them, their pictures, emails, phone #'s, but then it just seems like instead of replacing the God-shaped-hole (that you attempted to fill with these women) with God himself, you try to run from the women by moving. They aren't the problem. They could live in the same town. The problem appears to be filling up the void in your life with God, your Father.

I implore you to find a very active church. One that looks after it's people, and the community. I know some people in Florida, I could help you if you need.

Run to the Lord, read the psalms, and listen to David's cries.

You are right about me trying to fill my life up with people and not God. But, the reason I moved out of town and the other time I left that job is because I couldn't take the obsession any more. It NEVER leaves. It's like a song from a cd skipping in my brain. I can't get rid of it. After so many months (or years!) of trusting God with it and not seeing any results, I usually just give up on trusting Him with it and move on. Or, maybe God wanted me to give up and leave that town and that job. Maybe that was His way of delivering me from it. I'm not sure. I would love for God to take it away from me without having to do something drastic, like moving or leaving a job I like, but when I get away from the object of my obsession, then the obsession leaves. I can't explain it.

I met this girl on MySpace and closed my account and gave her up, but the obsession is still there. I can't fugure out why it's still there after I have seperated myself from her. This obsession will go on for months. Trust me. I'm missing something here, but I don't know what it is. Let me put it to you like this: Imagine if someone was standing right in front of you and punching you in the stomach. This went on for days on end. Then the days turned into months. You asked God repeatedly to deliver you from this person who was punching you, but He wouldn't do it. Finally, you got to the end of your rope and so instead of trusting God, you simple backed up a few steps and the abuse stopped. THAT's how I feel when I left my job and with the other obsession, when I left town and moved back to Texas. I felt like I gave up on God and took matters into my own hands. But, guess what? The obsession stopped. Maybe it was God's will for me to deliver myself, but I feel terribly guilty about it. I've never seen God the same after that. I have a VERY dificult time trusting in a God who won't deliver me from my problems. I know that Jesus is real and He is in my heart. I got saved years ago and and trust in the Spirit and let Him take over my life, but this one thing...this (these) obsessions, always keep me in the dark.

I desperately want God to deliver me from this thing without having to move out of state, but my past track record says that some day soon, when I get fed up with it, then I'll leave and the obsession will go away. I don't want to leave my mom. I CAN'T leave my mom. She needs me right now. I feel God wants me here. But, how can I get rid of this thing without leaving the state?

I pray God gives me peace and the grace to deal with this obsession. It will soon tear my life apart, not because I don't trust God, but because I have been trhough this countless times before and nothing ever changes.

I don't know what to do except trust in God and the more I trust in Him and He doesn't deliver me, the more bitter I will become until I deliver myself.

...unless God shows me another way.

Edited September 23, 2006 by footsteps

[chicagoburbite]

It NEVER leaves. Foot, when I was in my mid 20's I developed a panic dissorder. It was horrible. I too had obsessive thoughts. They weren't over a person, but none the less occupied way too much of my time. I sought out a Christian counselor who helped me end these obsessive thoughts with God's help. It's a form of addiction. Treat it like an addiction to drugs. You can move from the neighborhood where "crack" is prominent, but in your new neighborhood, you're likely to meet "cocaine" who will then become the addiction. An addiction to anything is a horrible experience, and one to not be taken lightly. Through counseling, and eventually medication, my panic dissorder was dissolved, as well as my obsessive thoughts. And, when I began to be obsess over those men I mentioned in my previous post, God slammed the doors, and I was able to more easily rid myself of them due to previous counseling tools, and medication.

It's like a song from a cd skipping in my brain. I can't get rid of it. Yup. I remember!! That's part of having an addictive personality like you and I seem to have.

I usually just give up on trusting Him with it and move on. That's exactly what satan wants. You are following the evil ones plot perfectly. He is sittin' there just laughing at your (and my) misfortunes. Let's not give him that glory. We must hang on to Christ! It may seem hard at first, but it will eventually free you from your addiction.

The obsession stopped. Maybe it was God's will for me to deliver myself, but I feel terribly guilty about it. God is not a God of confusion, or trying to make you feel guilty. The obsession stopped because you "moved to a new neighborhood", but most likely when a new girl comes along, if you aren't spiritually healthy, it will happen again. I know this stuff is tough!!

I've never seen God the same after that. I have a VERY dificult time trusting in a God who won't deliver me from my problems. He does allow the storms and trials to teach us something. Why?? so that WE can eventually grow, and teach someone else who goes through that particular storm!! Isn't that cool how God does it? You learn God's plan to deliver you from this storm, and then you will be the one to, in turn, help someone else! That's the Family of God for ya.

I don't want to leave my mom. I CAN'T leave my mom. She needs me right now. I feel God wants me here. But, how can I get rid of this thing without leaving the state? Now, see? God has basically slammed the door for you moving. Why? I think it's because he wants you to finally address your obsessions. He wants you to face that person punching you in the stomach with your Spiritual Armor!!! (eph 6:10-18) Print that verse out on a card, and read it everyday. Pray it onto yourself every morning, outloud.. so as to frighten satan away.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places. Therefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girded about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, with which you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thus with all perseverance and supplication for all saints." Ephesians 6:10-18