The "Good" Christian

[cjrose]

What is your definition of a "good" Christian.

Can we lose our temper?

Can we stand up for what is right and speak out?

Do we really turn the other cheek to be slapped?

Can we feel unfullfilled in our marriage?

If we divorce, are we bad Christians?

If we continue to sin out of human nature, are we still saved?

I'm just throwing out some questions here because I still have this thing with my sister weighing heavy on my heart. We had a conversation, one that was months overdue, and I wanted to share with her everything I was experiencing with the Lord like never before and wasn't trying to preach or witness because she was agreeing with me on everything until one topic came up and it really doesn't matter the topic it could have been anything but her voice got cold, she said she had to go, she disagreed and I said that's okay we don't have to agree on everything. But in another post I was accused of shoving my faith down her throat when we grew up in the same standards, morals and values. She is just one of those people who are right about everything and her word is the gospel truth.

Well, we have always been on rocky ground since childhood. She has always been cold and rather mean to me as a baby sister even though all of us were adopted. She has said some very hurtful words to me and never apologized and she has always cared more about her life, her friends, her possessions. We are so different. I was jut trying to attempt to share something I thought we had in common and it turned into the same usual end of conversation with a chill. We don't see each other because she lives south and I'm up north.

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

I don't think my desire to share a part of me was something that would set her off. I had hoped it would bring us closer together. We haven't talked since and I am at a loss as to what to do.

[Kabowd]

Short answer: Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith. What He starts/initiates, He finishes. In other words, we're all a work in progress.

[Openly Curious]

Could be the part of you that you wanted to share with her was maybe to overwhelming for at the time and she didn't know how to help you and it made her feel inferior to you. So instead of seeing you hurt and not knowing what to do about it she had to leave so she wouldn't be percieved as being inferior to you. Maybe you reading her wrong instead of being superior to you it is just the opposite. hence the being at odds with one another all the time.

I do not know just a thought but sometimes people really don't know how to handle what we are going through they are to immature to talk with about our troubles and problems and do not know how to help us at all and it makes them feel helpless. I tried to talk with someone once recently and told them what I was dealing with and rather than admit they had no clue what I was talking about they played like they did and started talking about something totally different altogether that I wasn't even talking about and I was so confused till I realized they had no clue whatsoever what I was dealing with like they were playing they did. But when you talk about a problem and they call your problem another type of disease something isn't real with them ya know.

just a thought

OC

[Christian]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

Our feedback does not trump the Lords work, it can only cloud His communication with you on the matter.

Rely less on our opinions and more on what the Holy Spirit tells you to do.

[Guest man]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

What are these resentments you speak of?

[cjrose]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

What are these resentments you speak of?

I'll try and keep this brief. I lost my first child and the doctors did not know why I had a premature birth. My second time around nearly lost him too and was in bed for four months, third time had a miscarriage, then the next two they recognized the problem and were okay but still fragile.

Seven months into my third and last pregnancy, our mother had a stroke. It's not like we talked everyday but I would check in on her. Sis was coming up for a visit the day I hadn't heard from our mother and so she went to the house in the late afternoon and realized something was wrong. FD and PD came to break down the door and bring mom to the ER and in the middle of the ER she screamed at me in front of everyone it was my fault our mother had a stroke and if I was there at 5:00 AM where I'm usually with my family sleeping at the time, she wouldn't have been so bad. She was cruel, a monster in her uncontrollable and undeserved anger toward me, especially in my condition. I just knew I went out to my car and sobbed so hard and felt so alone starting to believe it was my fault.

She had a stroke. How could I possibly be responsible ? That's really the biggest thing and she never apologized seeing how upset I was and yet she didn't shed a tear. I am serious, her heart is like stone.

[cjrose]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

Our feedback does not trump the Lords work, it can only cloud His communication with you on the matter.

Rely less on our opinions and more on what the Holy Spirit tells you to do.

Christian I love you, you know that but I do need some support here or at least encouragement. Give me some credit for being able to know what the Lord is telling me and what you all have to offer. I'm usually so at peace that nothing bothers me but this is different. I felt rejected again as she has done so often in the past. Something so precious as the love of God. I know I wasn't forceful, she's one to always make things clear so I did that. I even offered to change the subject but she wanted to hear more. Then I do and BAM something hits her nerve and she cares little for the feelings of others. Maybe I sound selfish now and losing respect here on this subject but if I don't let it out, it could start a snowball effect and I don't want to go there.

[graymousey]

"What is your definition of a "good" Christian.?"

A good Christian is one who was born again, and have Christ not only as his Saviour, but also as his Lord.

"Can we lose our temper?"

Yes, we can be angry if it is a 'holy anger' but the sun mustn't go down on us while we are angry.

"Can we stand up for what is right and speak out?"

As long as we base it on God's Word. We mustn't take the credit for knowing what is right since we know it from the indwelling Holy Spirit, (this is only if one was born again).

"Do we really turn the other cheek to be slapped?"

That goes against our fallen nature. It is only possible through the divine nature, if one was born again.

"Can we feel unfullfilled in our marriage?"

Probably. I think so.

"If we divorce, are we bad Christians?"

Divorce is not in God's plan. But the Bible gives us a few reasons where divorce is justified.

"If we continue to sin out of human nature, are we still saved?"

If one was biblically born again, by the miracle of the Holy Spirit he was given the divine nature. But his fallen nature is still alive, and actually it is established, and much stronger then the new nature, which is only a 'baby'. These two natures are in constant fight with each other, and they are irreconcilably deadly enemies of each other.

Our will presides over these two natures, and decides which of the natures will he give ascendency.

So, the set of the will to follow Christ is imperative for a born again Christian.

Unfortunately it happens that sometimes we give ascendency to the fallen nature, but the indwelling Holy Spirit will condemn us right away, and He will be saddened, and the Christian will repent as soon as he realizes the slip. Christ will forgive him, and he will go on happily. The new born Christian has to feed his new nature to make it strong with the Word of God. As our new nature gets stronger, the sinful nature weakens, and the fight becomes less fierce as we go onward.

Love your sister, and don't expect anything in return. Love her to the Lord. Whenever you sense some enmity from her side, try to overcome it with love, and be overwhelmingly kind to her. Never take offence. "21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and that will give you an idea how we should love each other.

[cjrose]

Short answer: Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith. What He starts/initiates, He finishes. In other words, we're all a work in progress.

Why am I going through this now? What purpose does it serve when I have been growing so much in the Lord? Is this a test? I think I have always set my expectations too high for a loving sister when it's not going to happen and then I get disappointed all over again when she turns into the wicked witch of the west.

[cjrose]

Could be the part of you that you wanted to share with her was maybe to overwhelming for at the time and she didn't know how to help you and it made her feel inferior to you. So instead of seeing you hurt and not knowing what to do about it she had to leave so she wouldn't be percieved as being inferior to you. Maybe you reading her wrong instead of being superior to you it is just the opposite. hence the being at odds with one another all the time.

I do not know just a thought but sometimes people really don't know how to handle what we are going through they are to immature to talk with about our troubles and problems and do not know how to help us at all and it makes them feel helpless. I tried to talk with someone once recently and told them what I was dealing with and rather than admit they had no clue what I was talking about they played like they did and started talking about something totally different altogether that I wasn't even talking about and I was so confused till I realized they had no clue whatsoever what I was dealing with like they were playing they did. But when you talk about a problem and they call your problem another type of disease something isn't real with them ya know.

just a thought

OC

I know her too well. She doesn't feel inferior to anyone. But I understand your point. I've tried to look at it in different ways, and I know the Lord will show me and unburden me soon. But when you speak to others OC sometimes they are already formulating their own thoughts in their mind to reply to you which means they aren't even listening to what your are saying in your case. I call that self absorbsion and the lack of true listening skills.

I guess I was just let down like a balloon without it's fire wanting to share my excitment about the Lord and how I've grown and maybe I did come on to strong but I kept asking her and she would tell me at least I think she would. Now you've given me food for thought and may I am looking at this all wrong.

See the Lord is working already through my family here at Worthy. ((((((((((((((((OC))))))))))))))))