billie Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,849 Content Per Day: 0.44 Reputation: 14 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/17/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/17/1979 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Hey guys, got a problem. My mother-in-law constantly gossips to me. I don't want to hear it. I'm trying to avoid her. I know I'll have to see her eventually. My husband doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, so I've no support there. He just takes up for her. I don't want to offend her, as I'll be painted the bad guy, and it'll cause problems between my husband and me. How should I handle this? Thanks, brothers and sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Be honest. Tell her that you don't care for gossip, though you'd love to know what is going on in HER life. Be nice, smile and from then on, change the subject. You have a right to your beliefs and opinions, especially if this is in your house. In hers, you may have to leave prematurely. Eventually she'll either stop or she'll do it deliberately pick at you. And if she does the second then eventually darrin will see it for what it is and stop expecting you to put up with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peaches Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 95 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,315 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 14 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/25/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted October 23, 2006 i have the same problem with my boss too. if i tell her to stop, then she will think i dont want her to confide in me about stuff...and she has a lot of it going on! i have sorta tried to bring it up but she hasnt changed. one of the things i try to do is change the subject real fast to something that interests her when she starts talking about people. or ask a seemingly more important question. i also excuse myself to go do other work but its a small coffee shop so she can easily find me! but yea, i also try not to fuel this but responding as little as possible, without making it look like i am ignoring her, if i find myself stuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candi770 Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 119 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,316 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 7 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/01/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/01/1970 Share Posted October 23, 2006 You could be blunt, out of love tell her that it doesn't make you feel good gossiping about others. Or you could say, you know maybe we should pray for these people right now-and start into prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierra21 Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 160 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,000 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/07/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/30/1983 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Prayers my sister. Sometimes it's all we can do. sierra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spunky Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 364 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/14/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted October 23, 2006 Okay this might get chriticism but it also might work! Since she is family carefully plant the rumor to another member of the family that can't be trusted to hold their tongue that you hate gossip maybe it'll get back to your mother in-law! God Bless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terter Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 473 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted October 23, 2006 I have the same problem with a couple of people. I've struggled to try to talk with them - and I have to talk to them - it's not possible to stay away from them. One of them knows the Bible but somehow she doesn't seem to be able to stop. I've tried changing the subject, saying something positive about the person they're talking about, suggesting that they pray about the people, giving no response - verbal or non-verbal - nothing seems to work. I know the Lord is the answer to every problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northern lass Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 106 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,072 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 25 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/27/1948 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I have found that saying something back that's positive each time about the person quite often works. They either give up or start to agree! Apart from that, sometimes when it's in a group situation and others are joining in, (eg at work) I've just kept on working and kept silent - means I'm not joining in and it's THEIR problem, not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 540 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,876 Content Per Day: 5.04 Reputation: 23,593 Days Won: 228 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted October 23, 2006 If I know the person being talked about I try to say something very positive about him/her or more often just say something like " Isn't it sad that people talk about situations without knowing the whole truth from both sides, I would hate to hear anyone talk about you like that I love you too much to want other people to hurt you unintentionally with careless gossip " If she doesnt get the message after that you may just have to listen, say nothing and then change the subject when she has finished praying for you Billie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnapage Posted October 23, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 24 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/20/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/15/1961 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I know about gossip because I worked in a hair salon! I'm with Peaches on this...change the subject! It may take awhile for it to sink in but it will eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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