Divorce support thread

[RGR]

Oh, Ronald, my heart aches for your babies.

I'm keeping the four of you in my prayers and thoughts, brother.

((((((((((((((((Ronald))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((Boys)))))))))))))))))))

Thanks!

[ladypeartree]

Ron It is soooo hard to be the good guy all the time but please try to hold on for your childrens sakes...they still love their mum no matter what she has done and they need to be able to talk to you without feeling that you will not understand their need for a loving mother even if she only exsists in their imagination.

Praying for you all and for this situation to be resolved as quickly as possible and with as little animosity as possible so you can all move on in love and peace

[Guest levisdaddy1]

Help, I gave somebody advice and now...

A friend of my wife's had seperated from her husband. After some time he wanted to get back together with her. She asked me what she should do. I told her that in the Bible it basically says that getting back together with a former spouse is a good thing as long as neither of them have had sex with anybody else during the breakup.

She got back together with him, and they signed a 1 year lease agreement on an apartment. Now he's cheating on her!! I don't know what sort of advice to give now. If she leaves the apartment is she going to be stuck paying for half the rent for a year? She's afraid that if she leaves then he will get custody of their son since he would still be living in the apartment and she would be staying with my wife and I until she's back on her feet.

[ladypeartree]

dont know what the legal situation is in your part of the world but here I would say go see a lawyer...if she can prove ( or give reasonable proof ) that he is being unfaithful then she could get a court order for him to move out but he would still have to pay for support for her child as well as the lease agreement . I would NEVER say leave especially without the child as that would look like abandonment and she would have a very hard time to get custody of him after that ..

praying for your friend and her child

[Guest levisdaddy1]

We live in Massachusetts.

She wouldn't leave her son, she would bring him with her. But she's afraid her husband would file for custody and get it if she didn't have an apartment of her own. I myself doubt he would get full custody. He might get 50/50 at the most.

Proof of cheating would be impossible since it's illegal to record phone conversations. And I'm pretty sure the court wouldn't consider a photo of them together to be proof of anything other than friendship.

I don't know the best thing to do. I was thinking that maybe a letter written to the landlord stating her intent to cancel the lease agreement might work, but I'm not sure if both of them would have to agree to cancel. Her main problem right now is she's stuck with the apartment and rent, while she of course doesn't even want to live with her husband anymore. If she could just pay the penalty of canceling the lease early then she could be back on her feet with her own apartment in no time.

I don't think she could kick her husband out without going to court, and even at court she wouldn't be able to prove anything.

[ladypeartree]

Still think that legal advice is essential ....if there is a womans refuge somewhere close she may be able to get help from them as adultery and the situation she is in now can be seen as mental abuse in extreem cases

will keep them in prayers

[RGR]

Well, she's backed out on yet another weekend. This was supposed to be her weekend to have the kids since she backed out of last weekend. Please keep the boys in prayer, especially my oldest, as they're not taking it the best in the world. Thanks!

[CSLewis]

Well my prayers are with you .

My wife who is in rehab- now wants joint custody. Even though there is no way it will stand in court. But it will cost me money. Now because she won't sign the papers, she forces me into a contested divorce. Most likely she won't even show up. She just doesn't want to pay child support- she doesn't care about the kids at all - whom she hasn't seen in 8 months.

[ladypeartree]

How well I can relate to the two post above My ex husband really didnt want to know the children either..he has never paid a penny towards child support..he has never sent them a birthday or a Christmas card let alone a present but he did ask for visitation and joint custody after about 6 months and then turned up once ( for a supervised visit as he wasnt trusted with the children ) and managed to twist the female social worker around his finger , got a second ( unsupervised ) visit and then after telling the children a pack of lies about me and what I was going to do ....see other men etc ( I have been single and celebate for 25 years ) he dissapeared from their lives, didnt answer any letters or contacts and they have never seen him or heard from him again. I dont know if he is still alive, he doesnt know about the death of our son or the births of our 4 grandchildren ...he is the one that has missed out and now when I talk to my children about how they feel they tell me that they were hurt and dissapointed for the first few times that he failled to turn up or answer letters etc but after that they just realsied that I was the one they could rely on and that he was not important to them as they were so obviously not important to him.

Keep reasuring your children that you love them very much and thay you are going to be there for them whatever happens ...if you can try to have something fun to do with them when she doesnt turn up Ron, even if it is just making cakes or whatever fun things you can think of doing at home. That way at least they will not have to spend the day waiting and feeling rejected and hurt but will have good memories about the time spent with you

[anitarose]

Here's my latest info:

--Ex showed up at work in December (think I told you that). 3 days later I get a letter from him saying a bunch of stuff. Sent him a reply that if he can get a divorce faster and free to go ahead and do it.

--Around the 20th of January I gave up my dog to him through a mediator. Yep, Chikachu is now with her Daddy. It's been difficult at times, but I'm glad I did it because it freed me up to do a lot more things. I might never get to see her again, but that's all right---the Lord told me I'll see her again in heaven, when she's reunited with her brothers.

--so now I'm waiting for the papers basically any day now. I have no idea if he's filed or when he's filed. The Lord tells me to be patient and wait. Waiting has never been a strong point with me. But that's all right. Right now my studies are more important than anything else.

Please continue to pray for me. This isn't easy, and sometimes I've said things that are really stupid but I know that God is ultimately in control of all of this. I'm praying for you, Ronald, and CS as well. It's not easy going through this garbage but we have to, unfortunately.

God bless,

Anita