Backsliding...

[stitchy]

I feel very ashamed to be posting a topic like this, because of my recent acceptance of God into my life, my turn to Christianity and my baptism...

But I think I am backsliding.

I am feeling a little down. Not horribly depressed like I used to be before I accepted God. Back then I used to hurt myself and want to commit suicide. I'm not having any thoughts or urges to do things like that. However I'm still down, and I'm starting to doubt my ability.

My family needs help. Mum is caught in a trap of alcoholism and it's really taking a toll on my parents' relationship. Neither of them know Christ. My sister doesn't know Christ. I'm the only one out of us that can honestly say I've had an experience with Him.

I can feel my new found faith becoming a problem in our family. A couple of weekends ago dad, my sister and I got into a discussion about Christianity. My sister told me that Satan was made up by people. Made up! I said no, that's not true. She kept on giving her warped opinion and then walked away without giving me a chance to say what I felt I needed to say. Dad also gave his opinions and I was unable to give mine.

My family needs God. But they don't want to accept Him. Mum seems against my beliefs because she is Catholic, even though she's not practicing and she does not live her life the way the Lord wants her to. She won't go to heaven because she's a drunkard. I want to see her in heaven but at this rate I won't be able to.

I'm trying to talk to dad about God more, but it feels that I'm not getting anywhere. What's worse is, today a lady at church spoke to me about my baptism a few weeks ago, and said that God will really start to use me to affect others, namely my family. I agreed with her outwardly but in my heart I feel that I won't be good enough/strong enough to influence the ones I love to turn to God. I feel like I don't have what it takes for God to use me to my full potential. Perhaps I don't even have that potential.

And to make it even worse, I'm having horrible horrible self image issues. I'm not skinny but I'm not fat either. I'm in between but I hate it. I strive to be skinny. I'm never happy with the way I look and it gets in the way of me being the woman God made me to be. It gets in the way of my focus on Him and His ways, and stops me from doing things (such as making new friends, etc). It's mainly just my weight that gets me down, because sometimes when I look at my face in the mirror I think I am attractive, but other times I can see my face and think it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Again, I feel so ashamed for thinking/being like this. But I'm not going to try to keep it inside and struggle with it on my own anymore because I did that in the past and it got me nowhere. So now I am reaching out to my fellow Christians because I know you are all the people I need to encourage me to reach God and be my all for Him.

Thankyou for reading. Any words of wisdom/scriptures/prayers would be appreciated SO much.

God bless you all.

Edited January 7, 2007 by stitchy

[elkieDannsa' Air An Drochaid]

Dear stitchy,

BLessings to you in Christ our Lord and Saviour, Whom Himself is our help in time of need.

An important thing to remember is that GOD has said,"not by men nor might, but, by My Spirit I will accomplish these things".

It is by God's very Own Holy Spirit (Whom is also God) that His Will shall be accomplished. So, when we pray or speak of Christ to others, we need to trust in God to do what it takes in their hearts and lives to draw them and accomplish His work. We do what God has asked us in His Bible and in His Holy Spirit prompting. It isn't by our ability at all. It is accomplished by God's Own Ability. Do what the Lord has told you to do and leave it to Him, as you continue to walk in Him.

Also, going for strengthening prayers for yourself and for your family, too. Intecessors, GOds Prayer Warriors will help you.

There is deliverance prayer needed to overcome the things you have previously been through and are even now dealing with.

You can also stand in for your family and get prayers for them, too. You Church should offer such prayer help to you. There is also Healing Rooms Intl. where Interecessors of various Churches will meet and pray for you ,too. You can ask Churches or look online for Healing Rooms Intl near you.

Also dear one in Christ, the devil hates for you to know the power you have in Jesus of Nazereth Holy Name. Read Ephesians again with prayers today please.

See that God has not left you powerless at all.

There is not any spirit that can resist the Holy SPirit in the Name of GOds Holy Son, The Name above all names!

ALso, asking GOd to show you yourself through His eyes that you may know how HE sees you. His compassionate great love and Holy Hand on you all of your life and prepare to repent and ask for any changes you need and to overflow in your seeing His Great Love for you!

You are GOds very Precious Child! Love that child, nuture this child in yourself that God loves so much and let HIm help you.

Reading also about how to pray, there are many ways of praying effectively.

Also when reading His Word, read it aloud over yourself and believe what HE has said and trust Him at His Word ,who HE says you are.

There should come changes in how you feel and understand who you are, who you really are and not the things you are thinking right now or the lies the devil is saying. Fill your mind and heart on GOds Word and prayers to come to KNOW you are whom He says you are!

I pray the Lord give you deliverance and restoration and HIs Holy Help in all things.

I rebuke any spirit form your life that is not from God in the Name of JEsus of Nazereth to leave now and never return.

Oh LOrd,Our GOd please fill you to over flowing in His Holy Spirit living in you and in HIs Holy Word in THe Name of JEsus our Lord and Saviour,amen

(also seek out mentors for yourself in friendship and encouragement form elder persons who are mature in the Faith and on frie for GOd in their heart of hearts and that walk in the Spirit of God and show the nine fruits of the Holy SpIrit ,that are ours to have.)

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, temperance... - Galations %:22 KJV

These characteristics are what GOd wants each of us to be and are seen clearly in the life of Jesus Christ. They are nto the result of our own huiman effort, but the supernatural result of the Holy Spirit controlling every area of our lives.

Ask GOd to light the fire in you for HIm and to take control and to take His Rightful place in you life now. (Don't miss this by allowing yourself to fill your life and heart with what the world has to offer or in doubting God.)

He both can and will transform your weaknesses into strengths!

You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free. -John 8:32

Remember He who is free in the SON, IS free indeed!

You have overcome the wicked one. - 1John2:14

Feed your mind on the Word of God DAILY.

When you tell of Christ, in word or deed, leavethe end results to God ,Who both knowsa nd sees all things, including all hearts, which we cannot see nor can we know the end results ...only God.

*Examine you life. Acts20:26; 1Corinthains 11:28.

*Confess all known sin. "if qw confess OUR SINS, HE IS FAITHFUL and JUST to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us FROM ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS. - jOHN 1:9

*SUBMIT your self COMPLETELY TO GOD. Romans 6:11-13

*BELIEVE you are filled in the Holy SPirit"But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from FAITH: for WHATEVER IS NOT FROM FAITH IS SIN". -ROmans14:23

*In everything give thanks; for this os the will of GOD in Christ JEsus for you". 1Thessalonians5:18 "How much more wil your heavenly Father give you the Holy SPirit to those who ask HIm"!-Like11:13

(if you have doen what GOd asks,dont wait for physical "feelings amd signs" TRUST GOD AT HIS WORD. believe that HE will fill you with HIS SPirit. Assurance often follow us trusting GOd at HIS Word, just believing we are filed in the SPirit taking GODd at His Word. Because we both believe and trust in HIs NAture and all HE says to us, Whom HE IS!

*WALK IN THE SPIRIT. "I say then; Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh". - Galations %:6

To walk in the Spirit is to be freed of your weaknesses also. Repeat many times kneeling and praying to God that He forgive us (when we know we have sinned) that He restore us and help us to walk in HIS Spirit that we may guard against grieving HIs Holy SPirit or quenching the Holy Spirit.

ABIDE IN CHRIST all throughout your day and night.

Talk with Him all the time. HE can handle any question you may have and wants you to coem to HIm and to trust in Hin. PRay before reading His WOrd and let God touch areas in your life in His Word for you.

(Don't be dominated by your weaknesses. *BE dominated by Gods Holy SPirit , it is HIS Will for you life!)

Blessings and prayers for you and your family.

Let you light shine and take joy in the LORD, HIS JOY IS YOURS TO HAVE!

love in Christ and prayers Peace of Chris

[stitchy]

Thankyou so much Elkie. You've filled me with encouragement. God be with you I will not forget what you've told me.

[kittyjo]

Right On Elkie!

Stitchy,

I think that witnessing to family can be the most difficult for many reasons. The best thing you can do is to keep them lifted in prayer asking our Lord to soften their hearts.

I think what I see here is a spiritual attack, satan is defeated, he hates to be reminded of that and will lash out when we seek to get closer to God using his favorite tools and our greatest weakness'... Discouragement and doubt.... In fact that just reminded me of a story, let me share it with you...

Satan's Garage Sale

Once upon a time, Satan was having a garage sale. There, standing in little groups were all of his bright, shiny trinkets. Here were tools that make it easy to tear others down for use as stepping-stones. And over there were some lenses for magnifying ones own importance, which, if you looked through them the other way, you could also use to belittle others, or even one's self.

Against the wall was the usual assortment of gardening implements guaranteed to help your pride grow by leaps and bounds: the rake of scorn, the shovel of jealousy for digging a pit for your neighbor, the tools of gossip and backbiting, of selfishness and apathy.

All of these were pleasing to the eye and came complete with fabulous promises and guarantees of prosperity. Prices, of course, were steep; but not to worry! Free credit was extended to one and all. "Take it home, use it, and you won't have to pay until later!" old Satan cried, as he hawked his wares.

The visitor, as he browsed, noticed two well-worn, non-descript tools standing in one corner. Not being nearly as tempting as the other items, he found it curious that these two tools had price tags higher than any other.

When he asked why, Satan just laughed and said, "Well, that's because I use them so much. If they weren't so plain looking, people might see them for what they were." Satan pointed to the two tools, saying, "You see, that one's Doubt and that one's Discouragement -- and those will work when nothing else will."

Stitchy there is something else I'd like to share with you when you begin to feel down, you may have seen it before, it has been around for years now, but think of it as a hug from God and encourgement when you begin to feel low. The Father's Love Letter

[Jessi7811]

Hey Stitchy,

I agree wif elkie some brillant advice! Keep prayin and I'll pray to.

May God Bless u and ur family!

Love

Jessica

xoxox

[RustyAngeL]

Dear Sister, Living this walk of faith in Christ is never easy. But I have found that the key is LIVING it. There is an old saying that goes, " Your actions speak so loud I can't hear what you are saying. Sometimes the best witness is silence and just live the life and pray, and stay in the word. Let the Holy Spirit do what He does best, convict. Never argue that will only push them away. Let Jesus live through you. He's very good at that when He has a willing.

[ted]

Dearest stitchy,

You cannot place the weight of your family or their Salvation upon your shoulders. What you can do, though, is quietly remain steadfast in your faith, thereby presenting to them a light of which they can follow- or not!

It's up to them, but in the mean time, you can continue to grow in the Lord, and continue to learn of Him. Take you some bite-sized nibbles of the Word, and the rest will come in due time. Try to remain faithful to God, and you will become an example that they can see.

I know it's hard, but it's very attainable, too.

Peace,

t.

[stitchy]

Thankyou everyone!! You're all such a blessing to me

Kittyjo, thankyou for the story and the link. I've seen the Father's Love Letter before, but it's been just the reminder I needed! I've printed it out and I'm going to stick it on my wall so I can see it whenever I need it.