Do you have resentment to towards a person?

[Everlasting127]

What if a person continually holds a grudge against you? I think God tells us to pray for our enemies,

but that doesn't mean that we should let them defeat us. Christ has already born the brunt of that in

our ransom. I believe if you hold onto your principles, you find that what you believe in, bears hard

witness against anything that you feel is false or wrong. I think a better word is discerning with conviction

and not grudging.

Just a Thought

Everlasting

Bible Inspired Author

Moon Over Key Biscayne

ISBN: 1-4241-6884-8

[RedeemedByHim]

If somebody does not treat you with respect do you resent them?

Are you held captive by resentment from other people against you?

This happened to David a lot and instead of harbouring resentment he told the God how he felt and told God His trust in Him.

He prayed often and left it all in His hands.

How do we handle those situations are we able to leave them in Gods hands and love our enemy?

I love the saying "He who angers you controls you!"

And if somebody angers you its bad for your heath and it could give you hearth problems

How do you deal with resentment?

'

I have learned to just give it to God.

[FighterforJC]

Can we forgive? We must. And with that forgiveness comes the peace that passes ALL understanding, but this is only done through Christ.

I believe it is absolutely, perfectly normal to have hurt, angry feelings when we or our children are wronged or hurt in some way, but we don't stay there.

There is nothing wrong with the healing process, and allowing ourselves to see we need the time to process through it.

I believe that is why we are told to "be angry and sin not". God knew we would get angry over things, He designed us. But allowing ourselves to get away from the situation so as not to sin and heal through the pain with Christ's help, makes us able to forgive completely.

I've found that, in severe situations (abuse, etc.), the forgiveness sometimes comes in layers. I've worked through, gotten on with life, and then, "wam", bitterness from lack of forgiveness over the same situation shows up again. Only a little deeper than before.

Our God is Good and Faithful to see us through as we seek Him.

My question is, what constitutes forgiveness? I had a friend who has crossed the line of our friendship. He used to be a good friend but for the last year, particularly within the last 4 months, he has been desperately trying to have an intimate friendship with my wife. I don't believe his motives were sexual at all, but he's been wanting to develop a relationship with my wife that is exclusively theirs. I would have none of it and my wife was absolutely disgusted with his schemes that were made obvious through the illumination of the Holy Spirit. I have completely severed our ties. I have not spoken with him for 4 months nor do I intend to ever speak to him again. The only thing in my heart that's weighing me down is that I want this guy to be openly shamed and rebuked for his dark deeds. Beyond that, I don't care at all what happens to him, whether he wins a million dollars or gets eaten by an alligator. My goal is to protect my family and my marriage. I believe that it is perfectly fine to keep things the way they are, there is no need to get reconciled with this guy. He can call and apologize, I'll accept it, but our friendship is dead. If he's truly born again, we'll see each other again in God's kingdom in our redeemed bodies, free from corruption.

[HimAll4]

My question is, what constitutes forgiveness? I had a friend who has crossed the line of our friendship. He used to be a good friend but for the last year, particularly within the last 4 months, he has been desperately trying to have an intimate friendship with my wife. I don't believe his motives were sexual at all, but he's been wanting to develop a relationship with my wife that is exclusively theirs. I would have none of it and my wife was absolutely disgusted with his schemes that were made obvious through the illumination of the Holy Spirit. I have completely severed our ties. I have not spoken with him for 4 months nor do I intend to ever speak to him again. The only thing in my heart that's weighing me down is that I want this guy to be openly shamed and rebuked for his dark deeds. Beyond that, I don't care at all what happens to him, whether he wins a million dollars or gets eaten by an alligator. My goal is to protect my family and my marriage. I believe that it is perfectly fine to keep things the way they are, there is no need to get reconciled with this guy. He can call and apologize, I'll accept it, but our friendship is dead. If he's truly born again, we'll see each other again in God's kingdom in our redeemed bodies, free from corruption.

I believe, in time, you will be able to get past wanting to see him publicly shamed, and that's where forgiveness will take hold in your heart.

Remember, "Vengeance is mine, declareth the Lord, I will repay." Let God worry about the consequences.

You may even get past the "don't care" part of it, and be able to pray for him and speak nicely about memories you shared.

As far as I'm concerned, there is no need to worry about "reconciling" with him here. Your main focus should be your marriage, and I see nothing wrong with his feelings being hurt by your choice. That's not your concern, and he will have to answer for his own stuff.

Just focus on Jesus, and let Him cleanse and care for you.

[Kansasfamily]

I heard a pastor say once that you know that you have forgiven a person when you can think about that person and not get any ill feelings inside.

I had a situation come up in my marriage that took me years and the counsel of a very dear friend before I even realized that first of all, I was still carrying it with me and then he helped me to forgive all that and to let go of it.

Then we ran into another situation in our marriage where honestly I can say that my husband has been the most awesome example of forgiveness that I have ever seen! He has gone above and beyond what I believe most people would have done in the same situation. He has truly been an inspiration to me in that regard.

I don't know that I would have learned what forgiveness was without the counsel of my very dear friend and the example set by my dear husband.

Forgiveness is looking at a situation through God's eyes and knowing that nothing and I mean nothing is allowed to come into the life of the believer without first being sifted through the fingers of a loving God. There is a reason behind every single circumstance that touches the life of a Christian. And He promises in His Word that ALL things work together for good, to those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Nothing happens outside of God's control and so when a person is allowed to come into our lives and wreak havoc, there is a reason for that and God is still in complete control and has a purpose for it. We may not always know that reason this side of eternity and I have learned that God almost never answers why He lets something happens, but He will always answer, What do you want me to learn from this?

[FighterforJC]

I heard a pastor say once that you know that you have forgiven a person when you can think about that person and not get any ill feelings inside.

I had a situation come up in my marriage that took me years and the counsel of a very dear friend before I even realized that first of all, I was still carrying it with me and then he helped me to forgive all that and to let go of it.

Then we ran into another situation in our marriage where honestly I can say that my husband has been the most awesome example of forgiveness that I have ever seen! He has gone above and beyond what I believe most people would have done in the same situation. He has truly been an inspiration to me in that regard.

I don't know that I would have learned what forgiveness was without the counsel of my very dear friend and the example set by my dear husband.

Forgiveness is looking at a situation through God's eyes and knowing that nothing and I mean nothing is allowed to come into the life of the believer without first being sifted through the fingers of a loving God. There is a reason behind every single circumstance that touches the life of a Christian. And He promises in His Word that ALL things work together for good, to those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Nothing happens outside of God's control and so when a person is allowed to come into our lives and wreak havoc, there is a reason for that and God is still in complete control and has a purpose for it. We may not always know that reason this side of eternity and I have learned that God almost never answers why He lets something happens, but He will always answer, What do you want me to learn from this?

I don't know what God wanted me to learn from it, but I learned to NEVER trust that snake again, and hopefully that guy learns to never try to invade marriages again by preying on weak-minded wives, which thankfully, my wife is not (This guy is 100% responsible for dissolving a troubled marriage that was fully repairable, by encouraging the wife to divorce, by sick twisting of Scripture; need I mention that this guy later became sexually involved with that woman?). I believe that sometimes the best thing is just to simply take things at face value and not try to find deeper meanings behind them. God revealed a poisonous snake, my job is to not get bit by it.

Edited May 17, 2007 by FighterforJC

[Kansasfamily]

I heard a pastor say once that you know that you have forgiven a person when you can think about that person and not get any ill feelings inside.

I had a situation come up in my marriage that took me years and the counsel of a very dear friend before I even realized that first of all, I was still carrying it with me and then he helped me to forgive all that and to let go of it.

Then we ran into another situation in our marriage where honestly I can say that my husband has been the most awesome example of forgiveness that I have ever seen! He has gone above and beyond what I believe most people would have done in the same situation. He has truly been an inspiration to me in that regard.

I don't know that I would have learned what forgiveness was without the counsel of my very dear friend and the example set by my dear husband.

Forgiveness is looking at a situation through God's eyes and knowing that nothing and I mean nothing is allowed to come into the life of the believer without first being sifted through the fingers of a loving God. There is a reason behind every single circumstance that touches the life of a Christian. And He promises in His Word that ALL things work together for good, to those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Nothing happens outside of God's control and so when a person is allowed to come into our lives and wreak havoc, there is a reason for that and God is still in complete control and has a purpose for it. We may not always know that reason this side of eternity and I have learned that God almost never answers why He lets something happens, but He will always answer, What do you want me to learn from this?

I don't know what God wanted me to learn from it, but I learned to NEVER trust that snake again, and hopefully that guy learns to never try to invade marriages again by preying on weak-minded wives, which thankfully, my wife is not (This guy is 100% responsible for dissolving a troubled marriage that was fully repairable, by encouraging the wife to divorce, by sick twisting of Scripture; need I mention that this guy later became sexually involved with that woman?). I believe that sometimes the best thing is just to simply take things at face value and not try to find deeper meanings behind them. God revealed a poisonous snake, my job is to not get bit by it.

You know, you feel the same resentment toward that man that I felt in my marriage and until you come to terms with the face that you are resentful about it and give it to the Lord and until you realize and accept that God is 100% omnipotent and could have stopped it if He had so chosen, but allowed it for a purpose, then you will miss the lesson and the blessing.

[FighterforJC]

I heard a pastor say once that you know that you have forgiven a person when you can think about that person and not get any ill feelings inside.

I had a situation come up in my marriage that took me years and the counsel of a very dear friend before I even realized that first of all, I was still carrying it with me and then he helped me to forgive all that and to let go of it.

Then we ran into another situation in our marriage where honestly I can say that my husband has been the most awesome example of forgiveness that I have ever seen! He has gone above and beyond what I believe most people would have done in the same situation. He has truly been an inspiration to me in that regard.

I don't know that I would have learned what forgiveness was without the counsel of my very dear friend and the example set by my dear husband.

Forgiveness is looking at a situation through God's eyes and knowing that nothing and I mean nothing is allowed to come into the life of the believer without first being sifted through the fingers of a loving God. There is a reason behind every single circumstance that touches the life of a Christian. And He promises in His Word that ALL things work together for good, to those that love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Nothing happens outside of God's control and so when a person is allowed to come into our lives and wreak havoc, there is a reason for that and God is still in complete control and has a purpose for it. We may not always know that reason this side of eternity and I have learned that God almost never answers why He lets something happens, but He will always answer, What do you want me to learn from this?

I don't know what God wanted me to learn from it, but I learned to NEVER trust that snake again, and hopefully that guy learns to never try to invade marriages again by preying on weak-minded wives, which thankfully, my wife is not (This guy is 100% responsible for dissolving a troubled marriage that was fully repairable, by encouraging the wife to divorce, by sick twisting of Scripture; need I mention that this guy later became sexually involved with that woman?). I believe that sometimes the best thing is just to simply take things at face value and not try to find deeper meanings behind them. God revealed a poisonous snake, my job is to not get bit by it.

You know, you feel the same resentment toward that man that I felt in my marriage and until you come to terms with the face that you are resentful about it and give it to the Lord and until you realize and accept that God is 100% omnipotent and could have stopped it if He had so chosen, but allowed it for a purpose, then you will miss the lesson and the blessing.

The blessing is that we don't have to ever deal with this guy again. The lesson is that it is sometimes necessary to participate in God's work by taking action and becoming the instrument God uses. If there was a stranger in my house who's about to physically assault my family, it is not my duty to stand back and pray as the assault takes place but to take that guy down as quickly as I can and beat him until he stops moving. It is the same with the situation I talked about. I saw a snake and I will not allow that snake to ever enter my home again.

[kjwatts947]

I know you all don't actually know me by name or my xhusband

But the thing about it is that I'm not a person to gossip

My mouth is shut. I have to remember God needs to help me because of this one.

I usually can forget things easily but here latly thing seem to keep happing and I start remember all the bad stuff.

Lord God Almighty Help me to Forget.

Edited May 19, 2007 by kjwatts947

[HimAll4]

I know you all don't actually know me by name or my xhusband

But the thing about it is that I'm not a person to gossip

My mouth is shut. I have to remember God needs to help me because of this one.

I usually can forget things easily but here latly thing seem to keep happing and I start remember all the bad stuff.

Lord God Almighty Help me to Forget.

KJ - No, I don't know you and you don't know me. I don't know the memories you have and the bad stuff you refer to.

And you don't know the memories I have and the bad stuff I deal with.

What I do know is that our God is able. Able to do exceedingly above all that we ask or are able to do ourselves. I can't tell you if you pray to Him in sincerity over wanting to forget painful things whether He will answer with a "yes" or a "no". That is His call, obviously.

But I don't believe we possess the ability to forget. We are not God, although we are His children, and there are many attributes of His that we do not hold in possession at this time. Our physical bodies, in my opinion, function with certain limitations, and our minds' inability to forget is one of them. Can we put the memories behind us as Paul said? Yes! Will they ever be totally gone? I don't think so. We can cover them up, we can hide them away, but they don't ever totally disappear.

I believe that is one of the ways that forgiveness becomes such a blessing to us. Because while we still have the memories, we can choose to put them under God's sovereign control, forgive, and turn our focus on the present and the future. We have to make a concerted effort to let those things, or the reaction we have to them, not control us anymore.

Go back and get bit by the "snake"? To me, that sounds like a dumb idea. But forgive the "snake" and leave the pain of the bite in the past so it does not control me now and in the future? Definitely!

If the snake truly repents, and that would have to be PROVEN, I would still hold it at arms' length. With a tight noose. Depending on the relationship, it might take a long time before I would ever be comfortable in its' presence.

I believe the severity of the wrong and the value of the relationship really play a role in all of this. Long post - Sorry!