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Posted

Hi my name is ash and i'm an 18 yr old female christian from sydney, australia

This is the first christian forum i have come across that does not require a million questions just to join

i've come here seeking the help of my fellow cristian community

To put my problem straight out there, I want to commit suicide.

I have for many years and have almost succeeded a few times but failed due to my mother or a friend finding me.

Everyday I fight the urges simply for the fact that I know I will go to hell if I do. But ever since a friend of mine committed suicide last year (she also being a Christian) has made me want to doubt my faith.. I can't stand the fact that I know she's in hell for how can He accept us into heaven when we throw away His gift of life.

I'm starting to actually WANT to not believe just so that i can kill myself without fear, so that I can ignorantly believe that my friend is in heaven..

I pray everyday that somehow my thoughts will leave me.. that I can just want to live..

But this praying has been going on for years and years and still these thoughts still remain..

I've begged and begged for Our Lord to heal me of my mental anguish but without succession.

I've stopped going to church, stopped seeing my counsillor and am on the vurge of dropping out of college despite my impressive grades..

I've turned to this forum anonymously for help and guidence from others..

I have tolerated my head until now and i'm very worried i'll try again.. this time being successful..

I don't want to hurt my fmaily nor God..

I don't know what to do..

Please help me

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Posted

This link is a good one

http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html

I urge you to use it.

For Australia

Befrienders International Australia

175 Lilydale Road

Chidlow

WA 6556

The Samaritans, Subiaco

60 Bagot Road

Subiaco

PERTH

Contact by: Face to Face - Phone - Letter: - Email:

Hotline: 08 93 81 5555

Hotline: Youthline: 08 93 88 2500

Hotline: Freecall Countryline: 1800 198 313

Hotline: TTY: 08 93 82 8822

Website: thesamaritans.org.au

24 Hour service:

Lifelink Samaritans

PO Box 228

7250

LAUNCESTON

Tasmania

Contact by: Face to Face - Phone

Hotline: 03 63 31 3355

Website: lifelinksamaritans.org

E-mail Helpline: lifelinksam@intas.net.au

24 Hour service:

Samaritans of Albany, WA

PO Box 991

WA 6330

ALBANY

Western Australia

Contact by: - Phone - Letter:

Hotline: 08 98 422776

24 Hour service:

Lifeline Australia

National

Contact by: - Phone

Hotline: 13 11 14

Website: lifeline.org.au

24 Hour service:


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Posted

Please do not throw away your life. Many of us have tried suicide and we know that things get better. Please do not give up on your life.


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Posted

DO NOT DO IT

You know what is at stake and no amount of pretence will change that.Life may be difficult at the moment but do you REALLY want to face the pain of eternal seperation from God ?

Since I want to get this message out whilst you are still here at worthy I will say no more now but PLEASE stay around so we can talk

:th_praying::):24::24:


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Posted (edited)

I know others have tried suicide and I believe that things have gotten better for them..

I've been down many paths of drugs, eating disorders.. you name it..

and i've gotten over most of them.. i know things get better but this has remained my longest and most threatening anguish and it hasn't gotten better..

The Lord is my saviour and I know I couldn't bare a eternal separation from him but right now my mind, body and soul craves relief.. relief I onl;y see possible from giving up my faith no matter how much a believe it..

So many times I have wished I never became a christian but I can't doubt that those beliefs have become imprinted on me and no matter how much i pretend I know my eternal life will be damned if I perform this evil act..

I know i should be greatful and see that find God has actually saved my life(current and eternal) and I am but it's just so hard to make this thoughts leave..

My family isn't religious at all.. No matter how much i pray or try they will never see the light..

I don't want to believe that they will go to hell

I want to be with them when I die

Edited by Ash7614

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Posted

I will be praying for you............................ :emot-questioned:

I agree with everybody above, PLEASE get some help!


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Posted

i thank you all very much for your kind words, prayers and advice

i've tried getting help

i've been having counsilling for years and even tried turning to my church

this isn't a message saying goodbye or anything..

i am merely seeking help and will be reading and taking in every post in this thread

thank you all so much


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Posted

I think thats a good idea, stick around, make friends, get involved in the serious discussions and the fun threads, there are many wonderful loving people here, and you will be most welcome by all of them!

:emot-questioned:


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Posted (edited)

Hi, Ash. I've fought the kinds of thoughts you're fighting a lot in my life, and I have learned so much. :emot-questioned: There are ways to get over this kind of thinking! May I share with you from my experience?

First, be at peace that God is loving and fair. His love for your friend and your family is not in question.

A verse that helps me a lot is Isaiah 65:18, "But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing, and her people a joy. " (NKJV) To me Jerusalem stands for God's kingdom, his plans, his purposes, his people. We only see a little of what he does, but all the time he's creating his kingdom that will last forever. We can find peace in that.

When people are hurting, the whole person is affected. It's a matter of thoughts and emotions and physiology (exercise, sleeping, eating), relationships, and lots more. It's good that you are doing well as a student. I'm proud of you that you have that part of your life going well.

Recovery takes time, but it is possible. I had to try several different counselors before I found a woman who is actually wise and kind, who understands my situation and can really help.

PM me if you wish.

Mary

Edited by salos

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Posted

please do..

i'm an open book

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